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FMLs submitted from Ireland

Today, the iPhone app I downloaded that plays cricket noises during the night, has attracted a horde of actual crickets into my bedroom. FML

#20062154
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12554) - you deserved it (23989)

On 09/07/2012 at 6:32pm - misc - by Gurl - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my dad introduced me to my half-sister. He'd only recently found out that he had another daughter by another woman, and had only just met her. She and I have been in the same class in school for the past three years. FML

#20037883
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23050) - you deserved it (1305)

On 08/23/2012 at 5:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - Ireland (Mayo)

Today, my girlfriend received a scam email about her great uncle dying and leaving her money. She not only believed it, but she also used my credit card details for it. FML

#20014872
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25654) - you deserved it (2567)

On 08/11/2012 at 5:13am - money - by scammerssuck - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML

#19964691
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4294) - you deserved it (39096)

On 07/20/2012 at 5:38pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)

Today, I made microwaveable popcorn. When the bag finished popping, I took it out and opened it and put my face in close to get a big whiff. It now feels like I have third degree burns inside my nose and behind my eyes. FML

#19945940
154 comments

Today, my mother met my boyfriend. She thought it would be appropriate to tell him that he looks just like my ex-husband. FML

#19859656
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20296) - you deserved it (2345)

On 06/28/2012 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML

#19833560
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24145) - you deserved it (4096)

On 06/23/2012 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, after having stayed up all night studying, all the coffee I'd drank to keep me awake hit my gut with a vengeance. I ended up missing two exams because I was emptying my bowels into the toilet all morning. FML

#19792230
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17303) - you deserved it (8428)

On 06/15/2012 at 12:41pm - misc - by eminem blows cock (woman) - Ireland (Kerry)

Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML

#19771673
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8273) - you deserved it (29763)

On 06/11/2012 at 4:44pm - health - by Ciara (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I found out through Instagram that the guy I'm dating has a wife and two kids. FML

#19760730
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29722) - you deserved it (3674)

On 06/09/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by hailsatan666 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone, when I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart. He swore at me for being a pig, hung up, and has ignored all my subsequent calls. I try not to date idiots, but it's like I have a big old shithead-attracting magnet attached to me or something. FML

#19720821
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19797) - you deserved it (13135)

On 06/02/2012 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, I was on a rowing machine at the gym, listening to a podcast. Something funny was said, I laughed, lost my balance and fell off, with my feet still stuck in the footrests. Someone had to come and help me off. FML

#19703850
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16049) - you deserved it (4326)

On 05/30/2012 at 10:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML

#19693767
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19852) - you deserved it (4917)

On 05/28/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Danny (man) - Ireland (Dublin)



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