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FMLs submitted from Ireland

Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML

#19159270
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25739) - you deserved it (5659)

On 02/25/2012 at 6:25am - misc - by badmom (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had to use antiperspirant deodorant under my breasts. FML

#19152897
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19524) - you deserved it (4605)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:05am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML

#18859925
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12354) - you deserved it (24079)

On 01/20/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by MyHeadHurts (man) - Ireland

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

#18845928
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31185) - you deserved it (4556)

On 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by MakesMeLol (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I texted a friend offering my condolences over the death of his grandfather. He hadn't been told his grandfather had died yet. FML

#18569083
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24776) - you deserved it (3357)

On 12/21/2011 at 9:40am - misc - by cmolloy - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

#18209782
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24228) - you deserved it (5090)

On 11/10/2011 at 12:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I came home crying and informed my mother that someone had called me a 'fat bitch' today. She held me at arms length, looked me straight in the eyes, and lovingly said, "You can't change who you are." FML

#18030878
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26031) - you deserved it (4485)

On 10/20/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Meath)

Today, after a week of searching, I found my escaped snake. In my umbrella, outside, after opening it over my head. FML

#17959220
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20253) - you deserved it (6867)

On 10/11/2011 at 11:22am - misc - by lollymay13 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, during my second day as a receptionist, every time the phone rang I jumped in shock. My co-workers now already think I'm weird. FML

#17902230
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8375) - you deserved it (20473)

On 10/04/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Robyn (woman) - Ireland

Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML

#17607153
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22053) - you deserved it (5914)

On 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm - work - by Andrew - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML

#17388195
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18510) - you deserved it (5022)

On 08/06/2011 at 3:10pm - misc - by lostforwords (woman) - Ireland (Tipperary)

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML

#17255469
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24449) - you deserved it (5606)

On 07/25/2011 at 3:24pm - misc - by ninja_blasphemer (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)

Today, I accidentally deep throated a fork. FML

#17150480
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14080) - you deserved it (24393)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:15pm - intimacy - by CaoiiBieber - Ireland



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