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FMLs submitted from Ireland

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

#21382327
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30689) - you deserved it (3446)

On 03/27/2015 at 9:29am - kids - by njh - Ireland

Today, while studying for a big test at the library, some idiots started playing hide-and-seek. After putting up with their snorting and giggling for nearly an hour, I finally lost my shit and told them to knock it off. I then got kicked out for causing a disturbance. FML

#21380708
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29401) - you deserved it (3769)

On 03/24/2015 at 12:51pm - misc - by faaail - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML

#21355947
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34045) - you deserved it (11125)

On 02/14/2015 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, I experienced the horror of walking in on my best friend fondling his tits. Yes, "his". FML

#21351065
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29275) - you deserved it (3117)

On 02/06/2015 at 6:00pm - misc - by barf (woman) - Ireland

Today, I had a job interview at a café. The interviewer asked me my availability and I told her that I was fully flexible. She laughed and said, "Really? That's tragic." FML

#21345516
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27697) - you deserved it (2597)

On 01/28/2015 at 8:09am - work - by tipmeover (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML

#21339526
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29301) - you deserved it (19895)

On 01/18/2015 at 11:34am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I went to a club to celebrate New Year's Eve. A cute guy came up to me at the bar and asked my name. I thought my 8 year long dry spell was finally about to end. I smiled and said "Chrissy!" He said "That's a whore's name!" and wandered back off into the crowd. FML

#21327860
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34828) - you deserved it (3403)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:39pm - love - by cakestar9 (woman) - Ireland (Clare)

Today, I found out my boyfriend uses a period tracker app to find out when we can fuck. FML

#21315592
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36891) - you deserved it (7827)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anon - Ireland (Cork)

Today, while clearing stuff out of the basement, I found my ex-wife's old electronic diary device from the '90s. I found the charger, powered it up, and had soon read all about out she'd been cheating on me for almost half our marriage with the guy she's now married to. FML

#21313160
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40719) - you deserved it (3460)

On 12/07/2014 at 2:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

#21303901
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44064) - you deserved it (5398)

On 11/22/2014 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Kilkenny)

Today, I slipped on a wet floor at the supermarket and busted my nose. It wouldn't be as embarrassing if I hadn't missed the "CAUTION: WET FLOOR" sign that I'd put there myself just 30 minutes earlier. FML

#21302796
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30064) - you deserved it (9084)

On 11/20/2014 at 3:45pm - health - by fark (woman) - Ireland

Today, my wife and I had an argument serious enough to end our marriage, while overseas on vacation, with my whole family present. Three more days of awkward tension until we get to fly home and it all ends. FML

#21298977
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34519) - you deserved it (3753)

On 11/14/2014 at 2:09pm - love - by overseasbummer - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML

#21292789
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31924) - you deserved it (3753)

On 11/05/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by aineroo (woman) - Ireland (Galway)



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