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FMLs submitted from Ireland

Today, a grown man yelled at me because he'd been waiting for 15 minutes and still hadn't been seated or had his order taken. We were at a self-serve breakfast buffet. FML

#21203953
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42762) - you deserved it (3516)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:54pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

#21180516
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48740) - you deserved it (13630)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:37am - love - by stopinthenameoflove - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

#21158688
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45982) - you deserved it (5111)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm - animals - by disturbed - Ireland

Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML

#21149559
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40308) - you deserved it (3008)

On 05/23/2014 at 8:09pm - misc - by ThisIsWhyIStayAtHome - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was on my way to my first job interview in months. I wasn't even halfway to the place when a bunch of cockbites in a car drove past and hurled a bucket of paint out the window, drenching me and several other people on the street. FML

#21143094
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46349) - you deserved it (3542)

On 05/17/2014 at 4:51pm - misc - by spasti-cunt (woman) - Ireland

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31503) - you deserved it (50561)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I was driving my grandpa to the store because his car is in the shop. I was well within the speed limit, but he kept yelling at me for "speeding", then accused me of trying to give him a heart attack, and eventually pulled the e-brake, getting us rear-ended. He refuses to apologise. FML

#21129670
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44778) - you deserved it (3507)

On 05/03/2014 at 2:15pm - work - by kezbabes - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I realised that when I asked my girlfriend 4 months ago if was she on the pill, she thought I meant hay fever tablets. I'm going to be a father. FML

#21123315
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53157) - you deserved it (24989)

On 04/26/2014 at 8:28am - intimacy - by Sniffles (man) - Ireland

Today, I decided to go to a therapy group to help with my anxiety and to meet people who felt similar. I joked with my friend that no one would turn up as people might feel anxious about going. I was right. I was the only one there. FML

#21113050
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36949) - you deserved it (3327)

On 04/14/2014 at 7:34pm - misc - by all by myself (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, while on a first date, I had to excuse myself to the restroom. I was still tired from pulling an all-nighter, and fell asleep on the toilet. When I woke up and rushed back out, my date was gone. Everyone now thinks I'm an arsehole who pulled the old "window escape" trick on her. FML

#21106078
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41746) - you deserved it (12148)

On 04/06/2014 at 5:07pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

#21102110
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43974) - you deserved it (5381)

On 04/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by derped-out sperm (man) - Ireland

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

#21088237
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41732) - you deserved it (5741)

On 03/16/2014 at 3:28pm - health - by thanksdad (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, an American lady here in Ireland asked me if I was a Leprechaun. Thinking she was joking, and me being quite "vertically challenged," I decided to just say yes. She then grabbed me and made me endure photographs, cuddles and pats on the head from all her fellow tourists. FML

#21082683
186 comments


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