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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from India

Today, it's my birthday. I've been dropping strong hints all year about wanting to learn to tap-dance, hoping for some decent tap shoes. Instead, I got a beekeepers outfit and some furry dice to hang on my wreck of a car's rear-view mirror. FML

#17619840
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20543) - you deserved it (3488)

On 08/30/2011 at 8:16am - misc - by wtf (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, my girlfriend came over to stay the night. Before she arrived, I popped a viagra to spice things up. She then informed me that she was on her period and didn't feel comfortable doing it. I had a headache and a massive boner all night. FML

#17538243
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12419) - you deserved it (41570)

On 08/21/2011 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by RohnAbheek - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I ran into a guy who I was completely in love with for months. After a couple of minutes, I realised he totally bores me senseless. What a waste of 4 months obsessing over that shithead. FML

#15872147
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14168) - you deserved it (58803)

On 04/21/2011 at 10:44am - love - by EmDa (woman) - India

Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML

#15248759
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37751) - you deserved it (6414)

On 03/09/2011 at 4:52am - kids - by Anonymous - India (Karnataka)

Today, my boss was skeptical when I told her I had a terrible migraine and needed to go home for the day early. I removed all her doubts by puking over her. FML

#13885565
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27635) - you deserved it (2471)

On 11/18/2010 at 7:12am - work - by pukishgirl (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I saw an old homeless man who had just fallen down due to his drinking. Everyone laughed at him, but I felt bad, so I went to help him up. My reward? A quick punch in the face, landing me in the hospital. FML

#13774933
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26279) - you deserved it (5426)

On 11/09/2010 at 6:13am - health - by Anonymous (man) - India

Today, for the second time in 5 months I was recognized for my hard work, sincerity and all the adjectives that they use to describe good employees. What was my reward? A piece of chocolate. FML

#13523513
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21393) - you deserved it (4125)

On 10/20/2010 at 10:33am - work - by rewarded (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I was having a romantic conversation with my boyfriend under the stars. He said, "You know how there are people who are beautiful on the inside and people who are beautiful on the outside? Yeah, well you're one of those 'inside' people." FML

#13468876
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30943) - you deserved it (4129)

On 10/16/2010 at 4:20am - love - by Annie - India (Maharashtra)

Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML

#12023644
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17179) - you deserved it (42063)

On 07/21/2010 at 12:08pm - misc - by Goody2shoes (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I was with my friend and her entire family at a restaurant. While we were eating, her brother who is really cute asked what "brown sauce" is. I said thats probably 'penis' sauce. I'd meant to say 'peanut sauce' but the damage was done. The entire family just stared. FML

#8658331
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10858) - you deserved it (20110)

On 02/26/2010 at 4:10am - misc - by princess4242 (woman) - India (Delhi)

Today, my friend whacked me on the family jewels while I was washing my hands in the college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

#7198019
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32336) - you deserved it (2542)

On 01/07/2010 at 11:50am - misc - by TJ (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML

#7160952
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27569) - you deserved it (4766)

On 01/05/2010 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous - India (Madhya Pradesh)

Today, after secretly smoking for more than 2 years, I decided to quit. I come home from work and I see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML

#7157355
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5546) - you deserved it (35750)

On 01/05/2010 at 12:55am - misc - by tanksfan (man) - India (Delhi)



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