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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from India

Today, I slashed my ass open with a shard of glass. How? I was making out with my crush, and threw my glasses on the ground. I forgot about them when we decided to lie down. FML

#18774764
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12708) - you deserved it (31340)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by Dockin (man) - India

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

#18766108
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44347) - you deserved it (4532)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - India

Today, my mum read a forwarded email, and is now convinced that eating processed food will make my ovaries shrink and disappear. Now she goes batshit crazy if she sees me eating potato chips. FML

#18684418
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22616) - you deserved it (2328)

On 01/02/2012 at 7:18am - health - by sohungry (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

#18205995
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27408) - you deserved it (10723)

On 11/09/2011 at 10:15pm - health - by stinkypants - India

Today, I was online looking up ways to lose weight, get thinner and be healthier, all the while eating a slab of brownie that was half the size of my head. FML

#17743433
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7536) - you deserved it (47681)

On 09/14/2011 at 10:27am - health - by Fattymuch (woman) - India (Karnataka)

Today, it's my birthday. I've been dropping strong hints all year about wanting to learn to tap-dance, hoping for some decent tap shoes. Instead, I got a beekeepers outfit and some furry dice to hang on my wreck of a car's rear-view mirror. FML

#17619840
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20753) - you deserved it (3509)

On 08/30/2011 at 8:16am - misc - by wtf (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, my girlfriend came over to stay the night. Before she arrived, I popped a viagra to spice things up. She then informed me that she was on her period and didn't feel comfortable doing it. I had a headache and a massive boner all night. FML

#17538243
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13150) - you deserved it (42857)

On 08/21/2011 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by RohnAbheek - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I ran into a guy who I was completely in love with for months. After a couple of minutes, I realised he totally bores me senseless. What a waste of 4 months obsessing over that shithead. FML

#15872147
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14254) - you deserved it (59055)

On 04/21/2011 at 10:44am - love - by EmDa (woman) - India

Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML

#15248759
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39322) - you deserved it (6562)

On 03/09/2011 at 4:52am - kids - by Anonymous - India (Karnataka)

Today, my boss was skeptical when I told her I had a terrible migraine and needed to go home for the day early. I removed all her doubts by puking over her. FML

#13885565
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28228) - you deserved it (2520)

On 11/18/2010 at 7:12am - work - by pukishgirl (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I saw an old homeless man who had just fallen down due to his drinking. Everyone laughed at him, but I felt bad, so I went to help him up. My reward? A quick punch in the face, landing me in the hospital. FML

#13774933
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27493) - you deserved it (5576)

On 11/09/2010 at 6:13am - health - by Anonymous (man) - India

Today, for the second time in 5 months I was recognized for my hard work, sincerity and all the adjectives that they use to describe good employees. What was my reward? A piece of chocolate. FML

#13523513
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21598) - you deserved it (4140)

On 10/20/2010 at 10:33am - work - by rewarded (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I was having a romantic conversation with my boyfriend under the stars. He said, "You know how there are people who are beautiful on the inside and people who are beautiful on the outside? Yeah, well you're one of those 'inside' people." FML

#13468876
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31131) - you deserved it (4146)

On 10/16/2010 at 4:20am - love - by Annie - India (Maharashtra)



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