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FMLs submitted from India

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

#19066178
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20834) - you deserved it (4170)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm - kids - by Username - India

Today, the man of my dreams kissed me. It was everything I had imagined it would be until in the middle of the kiss, he burped. FML

#18991007
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29154) - you deserved it (3515)

On 02/04/2012 at 9:52am - love - by ac-hoo (woman) - India (Delhi)

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

#18976293
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17377) - you deserved it (21983)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - India

Today, my parents want me to become a lawyer, all because our family members keep getting into feuds and court cases. I'm a successful developer, and run my own company. FML

#18782870
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22385) - you deserved it (2153)

On 01/12/2012 at 5:14am - work - by me_the_maniak - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I slashed my ass open with a shard of glass. How? I was making out with my crush, and threw my glasses on the ground. I forgot about them when we decided to lie down. FML

#18774764
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12731) - you deserved it (31376)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by Dockin (man) - India

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

#18766108
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44411) - you deserved it (4535)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - India

Today, my mum read a forwarded email, and is now convinced that eating processed food will make my ovaries shrink and disappear. Now she goes batshit crazy if she sees me eating potato chips. FML

#18684418
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22666) - you deserved it (2332)

On 01/02/2012 at 7:18am - health - by sohungry (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

#18205995
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27468) - you deserved it (10741)

On 11/09/2011 at 10:15pm - health - by stinkypants - India

Today, I was online looking up ways to lose weight, get thinner and be healthier, all the while eating a slab of brownie that was half the size of my head. FML

#17743433
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7801) - you deserved it (48457)

On 09/14/2011 at 10:27am - health - by Fattymuch (woman) - India (Karnataka)

Today, it's my birthday. I've been dropping strong hints all year about wanting to learn to tap-dance, hoping for some decent tap shoes. Instead, I got a beekeepers outfit and some furry dice to hang on my wreck of a car's rear-view mirror. FML

#17619840
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20753) - you deserved it (3511)

On 08/30/2011 at 8:16am - misc - by wtf (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, my girlfriend came over to stay the night. Before she arrived, I popped a viagra to spice things up. She then informed me that she was on her period and didn't feel comfortable doing it. I had a headache and a massive boner all night. FML

#17538243
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13178) - you deserved it (42901)

On 08/21/2011 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by RohnAbheek - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I ran into a guy who I was completely in love with for months. After a couple of minutes, I realised he totally bores me senseless. What a waste of 4 months obsessing over that shithead. FML

#15872147
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14269) - you deserved it (59113)

On 04/21/2011 at 10:44am - love - by EmDa (woman) - India

Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML

#15248759
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39378) - you deserved it (6568)

On 03/09/2011 at 4:52am - kids - by Anonymous - India (Karnataka)



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