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FMLs submitted from Germany

Today, the guy I've recently started seeing confided that he's relieved I'm on the heavier side, and that he has a thing for watching chubby women eat. I just reached my ideal weight after losing 40 pounds. FML

#18238622
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33729) - you deserved it (3651)

On 11/13/2011 at 3:50pm - love - by notfatanymore (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML

#18184831
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23161) - you deserved it (5366)

On 11/07/2011 at 3:49pm - misc - by Olorin (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, after five long years of having been together, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to take our relationship to the "next level". We now have a Sims relationship. FML

#17814910
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29092) - you deserved it (4477)

On 09/23/2011 at 6:24pm - love - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)

Today, after a week of sporting what I thought was a flattering pixie cut, I realised that without my long hair, my body shape closely resembles a snowman's. FML

#17461404
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21878) - you deserved it (9586)

On 08/13/2011 at 4:29pm - misc - by Karin (woman) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML

#16965226
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42434) - you deserved it (2710)

On 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by beablue18 - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I flew home to Germany to see my wife before I'm deployed, only to find her in bed with another guy. She explained that she wants us to stay together, but she can't take a year without being intimate with someone. FML

#16468049
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52914) - you deserved it (4791)

On 06/02/2011 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by jsalmons - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I found out that my entire class, me included, has to rewrite the painfully difficult midterm we wrote last week. All this because the Professor left the exams strewn across her desk. The cleaners thought it was trash and disposed of them. FML

#15665104
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37815) - you deserved it (3240)

On 04/06/2011 at 1:28pm - misc - by HM (woman) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, I dried my hands on the same towel I used this morning to wipe up a few shards of glass. You can't see the small splinters in my hands, but believe me, I can feel them. FML

#15196116
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13655) - you deserved it (38355)

On 03/04/2011 at 12:18pm - health - by Anonymous - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML

#14811207
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36774) - you deserved it (4461)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:11pm - love - by straightasaneedle (man) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, my class went to Berlin. At the subway station, our teacher told us to get on the next train. I was the first one to get on and the only one who didn't hear her saying: 'Wait, that's the wrong one!' I'm lost in a city I've never been before. FML

#14585714
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29279) - you deserved it (5628)

On 01/15/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Sachsen)

Today, I sat in the cafeteria at work and saw a girl, which is a rare sight at my workplace, from the back with a beautifully long ponytail. After a full hour of building up courage to perhaps say hi to her, she turned around. It was a 50-year-old man. FML

#14257746
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13648) - you deserved it (28426)

On 12/19/2010 at 5:28am - love - by lonelyengineer (man) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I went to the Salvation Army to donate some clothes. As I was handing over the 4 huge bags that I had carried for 10 blocks, while 6 months pregnant, somebody stole my purse. FML

#14211022
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38240) - you deserved it (3215)

On 12/15/2010 at 6:58am - misc - by mugged (woman) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, I said to my wife that I wished I had met her 20 years ago. Her response was, "Twenty years ago I had beautiful tits and many options, I wouldn't have even looked at you." FML

#14140918
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40909) - you deserved it (5219)

On 12/09/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by prinzess (man) - Germany (Bayern)



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