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FMLs submitted from Germany

Today, I flew home to Germany to see my wife before I'm deployed, only to find her in bed with another guy. She explained that she wants us to stay together, but she can't take a year without being intimate with someone. FML

#16468049
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52830) - you deserved it (4783)

On 06/02/2011 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by jsalmons - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I found out that my entire class, me included, has to rewrite the painfully difficult midterm we wrote last week. All this because the Professor left the exams strewn across her desk. The cleaners thought it was trash and disposed of them. FML

#15665104
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37734) - you deserved it (3235)

On 04/06/2011 at 1:28pm - misc - by HM (woman) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, I dried my hands on the same towel I used this morning to wipe up a few shards of glass. You can't see the small splinters in my hands, but believe me, I can feel them. FML

#15196116
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13636) - you deserved it (38303)

On 03/04/2011 at 12:18pm - health - by Anonymous - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML

#14811207
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36698) - you deserved it (4454)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:11pm - love - by straightasaneedle (man) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, my class went to Berlin. At the subway station, our teacher told us to get on the next train. I was the first one to get on and the only one who didn't hear her saying: 'Wait, that's the wrong one!' I'm lost in a city I've never been before. FML

#14585714
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29181) - you deserved it (5617)

On 01/15/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Sachsen)

Today, I sat in the cafeteria at work and saw a girl, which is a rare sight at my workplace, from the back with a beautifully long ponytail. After a full hour of building up courage to perhaps say hi to her, she turned around. It was a 50-year-old man. FML

#14257746
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13610) - you deserved it (28369)

On 12/19/2010 at 5:28am - love - by lonelyengineer (man) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I went to the Salvation Army to donate some clothes. As I was handing over the 4 huge bags that I had carried for 10 blocks, while 6 months pregnant, somebody stole my purse. FML

#14211022
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38151) - you deserved it (3211)

On 12/15/2010 at 6:58am - misc - by mugged (woman) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, I said to my wife that I wished I had met her 20 years ago. Her response was, "Twenty years ago I had beautiful tits and many options, I wouldn't have even looked at you." FML

#14140918
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40816) - you deserved it (5215)

On 12/09/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by prinzess (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I held a presentation about my masters thesis. Turns out, my professor never ever actually read the drafts I'd given him, but decided to rip me to pieces in front of everyone, saying that the topic isn't worth researching. I've been working on it for six months. FML

#14128873
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32193) - you deserved it (2375)

On 12/08/2010 at 5:30am - work - by nograd4mee (woman) - Germany

Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML

#13930948
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34049) - you deserved it (4632)

On 11/21/2010 at 10:42pm - animals - by dickwebs - Germany

Today, my girlfriend and I were lying in her bed. We fooled around and were about to have sex as she suddenly began to cry without any reason. She cried for 30 minutes until I finally managed to calm her down. She said there was no reason for her crying. Then she fell asleep. FML

#13830899
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31172) - you deserved it (4510)

On 11/13/2010 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, I realized that the only boy who ever called me pretty was my 5-year-old brother. My sister then scolded him for lying. FML

#13825613
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28577) - you deserved it (2645)

On 11/13/2010 at 9:25am - kids - by blueheron93 (woman) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, I failed to get my drivers licence. My father was the instructor. FML

#13701806
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18673) - you deserved it (23543)

On 11/03/2010 at 1:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)



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