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FMLs submitted from Germany

Today, I yet again had to pretend to be a dumb bimbo so that my boyfriend wouldn't get upset over the fact that, in some cases, I might be smarter than him. FML

#20913509
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36951) - you deserved it (20879)

On 10/09/2013 at 3:51am - love - by yeah hun i think insects arent animals too (woman) - Germany (Sachsen)

Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML

#20895735
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39648) - you deserved it (3425)

On 09/25/2013 at 3:23pm - love - by burb - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML

#20850650
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40235) - you deserved it (11164)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:12am - misc - by Demotivation (woman) - Germany

Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML

#20843350
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38258) - you deserved it (15052)

On 08/18/2013 at 4:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

#20841635
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54802) - you deserved it (4578)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by fsfs (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML

#20830944
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50829) - you deserved it (3396)

On 08/10/2013 at 4:56pm - kids - by rachel (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered "Fuck it" and left. FML

#20806263
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44117) - you deserved it (3578)

On 07/27/2013 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonycunt (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my friend set up a profile for me on an adult dating site as a surprise. It was a surprise alright. The picture he set as my avatar was one of me stark naked, which I sent to my ex shortly before he dumped me. FML

#20794134
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38175) - you deserved it (8748)

On 07/20/2013 at 1:43pm - misc - by .............. (woman) - Germany (Saarland)

Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML

#20782525
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23900) - you deserved it (61300)

On 07/14/2013 at 5:25pm - misc - by scheisse (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I felt lousy and decided to give myself a pep-talk in the mirror. After a while, I cheered up and went about my day. I soon found out that my sister had recorded me through the crack of my door and posted the video on Facebook. I'm humiliated. FML

#20777975
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53404) - you deserved it (6251)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:40pm - misc - by Suomynona (man) - Germany (Hamburg)

Today, it's been three weeks since I moved to Germany with my own money, after my company's offices in Spain shut down. I was given a job at the headquarters here, only to have just found out that the whole company is now set to go into liquidation. FML

#20768805
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40324) - you deserved it (2766)

On 07/07/2013 at 3:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML

#20763424
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37013) - you deserved it (4376)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I was once again handed a document to translate along with the comment "Good luck, it doesn't make sense to begin with." If my translation doesn't, though, I will not get paid. FML

#20759632
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35561) - you deserved it (2702)

On 07/02/2013 at 10:35am - work - by Demotivation (woman) - Germany (Berlin)



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