Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Germany

after several sleepless nights full of crying, I went to mah university's free help center. After telling the psychologist mah problems and asking wat to do, he looked at me blankly and said, ( Uh, it's not depression, I guess. You should go out more and, like, party some more. ) FML

#21367402
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29912) - you deserved it (2733)

On 03/03/2015 at 5:02pm - health - by Anonymous - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, at a paintball match, mah boyfriend shot me between the legs an askd, "Still want kids now?" FML

#21354035
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29153) - you deserved it (3208)

On 02/11/2015 at 11:11am - kids - by maybe? (woman) - Germany (Hamburg)

Today, I cummed back to my dormitory after a long shift at work. After using the toilet, I looked at myself in the mirror, only to fine a huge piece of food stuck between my front teeth. I work at one of the fanciest restaurants in town; nobody bothered to tell me anything. FML

#21346560
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24492) - you deserved it (2510)

On 01/29/2015 at 11:53pm - work - by Eyalsh (man) - Germany (Mecklenburg-Vorpommern)

Today, a homeless guy tried to light mah hair on fire with a match at the bus looool stop. FML

#21342118
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29302) - you deserved it (2217)

On 01/22/2015 at 5:40am - misc - by burningman (man) - Germany (Hessen)

yesterday my boss sent me a Word document that he wantd me to make into a PowerPoint presentation 4 him. It was a set of proposals 4 the board of drectors about cost-saving options. The thrd option was to eliminate my position in the company. real FML

#21325772
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29459) - you deserved it (1787)

On 12/28/2014 at 8:56am - work - by HALIFAAA (man) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

after finally finishing a huge internal rebranding project at work, which I've poured blood, sweat an tears into over the last 12 months, I found out we're bieng acquired by another company an that our new brand will no longer exist. FML

#21319043
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30051) - you deserved it (1975)

On 12/17/2014 at 8:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute !! I wasn't having sex or even making out !! I was spooning !! FML

#21318416
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35203) - you deserved it (6527)

On 12/16/2014 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Extravirgin (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today , the family computer's 15-year-old CRT monitor which gives me headache finally stopped working!! My dad quickly found a replacement: an even older CRT monitor that gives me worse headaches!! FML

#21311912
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30178) - you deserved it (2904)

On 12/05/2014 at 9:00am - misc - by has an old monitor (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, after a huge fight, my grlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex an went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML

#21308219
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36654) - you deserved it (5889)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:08pm - intimacy - by blueballed (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

TODAY , MY COWORKER AND I ANNOUNCD THAT WE R SPENDING OUR HOLIDAYS TOGETHER , BECAUSE WE BOTH HAVE KIDS. MY BOSS ANNOUNCD HE IS COMING WITH US. FML

#21303728
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29003) - you deserved it (3417)

On 11/22/2014 at 5:16am - work - by Carnage23 (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

TODAY, I'VE TRIED TO HAVE A QUIET JACK OFF FOUR TIMES, ONLY FOR MY DAD TO KNOCK ON MY BEDROOM DOOR WITHIN SECOND AN SAY "STOP IT." EVERY SINGLE TIME. NOW I'M TOO PARANOID TO EVEN FUNCTION. FAT FML

#21302766
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32535) - you deserved it (7538)

On 11/20/2014 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by fuck fof and die dad (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

YESTERDAY I THOUGHT I FELT MAH CELLPHONE VIBRATING. TURNED OUT IT WAS JUST MAH GIRLFRIEND LETTING OUT A VICIOUS FART AGAINST MAH LEG. FML

#21296102
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36097) - you deserved it (5367)

On 11/10/2014 at 9:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Yesterday... my boyfriend gushed 4 several minutes about how amazing it is that I suddenly look hot when he takes his glasses off. FML

#21292702
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31468) - you deserved it (3038)

On 11/05/2014 at 1:49pm - love - by aspiemeanswell (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: