Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Germany

Today, my aunt, whom I live with, told me she is going to move out and demanded her half of the rent back, as she only spent two days a week there. When I told her that's not how rent works, she called my mom to tell her what a failure she had raised. Her own sons are unemployed drug addicts. FML

#21414120
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25700) - you deserved it (1654)

On 05/22/2015 at 6:14pm - money - by Failure (woman) - Germany (Sachsen-Anhalt)

Today, after taking my crush to the train station late at night, I sat in a local park alone with my thoughts for a while. Two cops appeared out of nowhere and started searching me for drugs and weapons, asking me questions for a good 30 minutes. Not the kind of action I expected tonight. FML

#21412638
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24760) - you deserved it (2128)

On 05/19/2015 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, I had an outdoor meeting with some important clients. It wasn't until the meeting was over that my coworker decided to inform me that I had bird poop in my hair "pretty much the entire time." FML

#21411568
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24605) - you deserved it (1792)

On 05/17/2015 at 5:27pm - work - by lily_marleen (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my boyfriend told me that we wouldn't move in together as we had planned to do for a long time. His mother forbade it. He is 27. FML

#21407402
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26551) - you deserved it (2567)

On 05/09/2015 at 7:03pm - love - by forever alone (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, my boss finally did something nice for me and bought me a coffee. By mistake I poured salt in it. To not be ungrateful, I drank it all in front of her. FML

Today, I saw one one of my cat's hairs on my sweatpants and wanted to remove it. It wasn't a cat hair, but a pubic hair that has found its way through my panties and sweatpants while being still attached to me. FML

Today, after several sleepless nights full of crying, I went to my university's free help center. After telling the psychologist my problems and asking what to do, he looked at me blankly and said, "Uh, it's not depression, I guess. You should go out more and, like, party some more." FML

#21367402
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29979) - you deserved it (2740)

On 03/03/2015 at 5:02pm - health - by Anonymous - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML

#21354035
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29229) - you deserved it (3214)

On 02/11/2015 at 11:11am - kids - by maybe? (woman) - Germany (Hamburg)

Today, I came back to my dormitory after a long shift at work. After using the toilet, I looked at myself in the mirror, only to find a huge piece of food stuck between my front teeth. I work at one of the fanciest restaurants in town; nobody bothered to tell me anything. FML

#21346560
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24524) - you deserved it (2514)

On 01/29/2015 at 11:53pm - work - by Eyalsh (man) - Germany (Mecklenburg-Vorpommern)

Today, a homeless guy tried to light my hair on fire with a match at the bus stop. FML

#21342118
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30276) - you deserved it (2436)

On 01/22/2015 at 5:40am - misc - by burningman (man) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, my boss sent me a Word document that he wanted me to make into a PowerPoint presentation for him. It was a set of proposals for the board of directors about cost-saving options. The third option was to eliminate my position in the company. FML

#21325772
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29501) - you deserved it (1791)

On 12/28/2014 at 8:56am - work - by HALIFAAA (man) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, after finally finishing a huge internal rebranding project at work, which I've poured blood, sweat and tears into over the last 12 months, I found out we're being acquired by another company and that our new brand will no longer exist. FML

#21319043
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30085) - you deserved it (1977)

On 12/17/2014 at 8:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML

#21318416
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35366) - you deserved it (6543)

On 12/16/2014 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Extravirgin (man) - Germany (Bayern)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: