FMLs submitted from France

Today, I had an important interview. On the way there, I stopped in front of a car window to look at my reflection, checking I didn't have salad stuck between my teeth. Having pulled several faces, I realised that there were two girls inside the car, cracking up with laughter. FML

by Groom / 11/30/2008 at 5:51am / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. We all looked together at family photos on the computer. The first picture was a close up of my mother, bare breasts in full view. FML

by Rosies / 11/29/2008 at 9:34pm / Intimacy

Today, my husband invited his boss and his wife to dinner. During the meal, I tasted the wine and apologised for its bad quality, somewhat annoyed: "Dont drink that, I'll go and look for another bottle." Unfortunately, it was our guests who had brought the wine in question. FML

by Buzz / 11/29/2008 at 11:11am / Work

Today, well actually last night, I did a full striptease for my girlfriend to "You can leave your hat on". When the song was over, I was then completely naked, she says to me : "Maybe we should have closed the shutters!" FML

by ... / 11/29/2008 at 6:50am / Intimacy

Today, while shopping for a pair of shoes, I saw a pair I really liked lying around, so I sat down to try them on. Then, a man came up to me and pointed out that they were actually his shoes. FML

by Gregory / 11/28/2008 at 5:28am / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML

by Sam / 11/28/2008 at 3:50am / Intimacy

Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML

by clash / 11/28/2008 at 1:30am / Intimacy

Today, I was doing a Power Point presentation to the management committee. Outlook Express was still open, and right in the middle of the presentation, a window popped up notifying me of a new message. "Subject: our reply to your application for the post of Marketing Manager". FML

by Buzz / 11/28/2008 at 12:35am / Work

Today, during a lunch I said "It must be awful to realize that you've been cheated on!". One of the men present had just found out that he had been. I then try to correct my tactlessness by saying "The worst must be when your wife leaves you for another woman". Which was also the case. FML

by lovely-sweet / 11/27/2008 at 7:34am / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard my next door neighbour screaming as if someone was trying to slice her throat. Her window was open. Intrigued, I went onto my balcony and asked if everything was okay, and if she needed anything. She and her boyfriend shout back in unison: "We're F*ing, go away". FML

by ehbe / 11/27/2008 at 3:52am / Intimacy

Today, I was in India. At the airport, the men and women were being searched separately. The guy welcoming us pointed me towards the women's area. I had to explain to him that I was a guy. It took 15 minutes. FML

by ... / 11/27/2008 at 12:30am / Holidays

Today, after numerous attempts, my car door still wouldn't unlock. After going ballistic on the lock, the key broke off inside. I then realized it wasn't my car. FML

by Smile / 11/26/2008 at 11:21pm / Transportation

Today, I put my hand up in class. I forgot that I hadn't shaved. FML

by ripo95 / 11/26/2008 at 1:18am / Miscellaneous