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FMLs submitted from France

Today, while I was out, I was having a drink with a pretty girl. She started looking at my crotch and said, smiling, "There's something burning down there." I smiled, but she insisted. Ashes had set my trousers on fire. FML

#345
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24205) - you deserved it (4701)

On 11/19/2008 at 11:37pm - misc - by lageste - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she bought for me. I said joking: "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML

#343
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26349) - you deserved it (16985)

On 11/19/2008 at 6:33am - love - by Mazzam - Sent from mobile version

Today, I bought myself an MP3 player. Later, I was laying in bed, listening to music and eating a bowl of cereal, when I went to move the bowl of cereal on the bedside table for some shut eye. I dropped my MP3 player into the leftover milk. FML

#342
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10630) - you deserved it (25048)

On 11/19/2008 at 6:02am - money - by Blue - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to work 300 miles away from where I live. I couldn't find my customer's address, so I decided to call him. I'd picked up my wireless house phone instead of my mobile. FML

#339
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21878) - you deserved it (8229)

On 11/19/2008 at 3:00am - work - by comphone - Sent from mobile version

Today, I spent the night in hospital. As soon as I was alone, I writhed and twisted in all directions in my attempts to pee in a bottle left precisely for that purpose. It was at that moment that the doctor, a good-looking guy, came in. My legs were spread wide and I was right in the middle of doing my business. FML

#338
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28962) - you deserved it (2871)

On 11/19/2008 at 12:59am - health - by la poisse - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML

#337
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43041) - you deserved it (4167)

On 11/18/2008 at 11:58pm - intimacy - by Gwayhir - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tried demonstrate to my little brother that, unlike what he sees in cartoons, it is impossible to slip on a banana peel. I'm not too sure he's convinced. FML

#336
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8590) - you deserved it (33245)

On 11/18/2008 at 10:44pm - kids - by j0j0 - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I was on a date with my new boyfriend. I acted very flirty and laughed very loudly to show him how funny he was. I laughed so loudly that I farted. FML

#329
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27659) - you deserved it (18950)

On 11/18/2008 at 7:16am - love - by elsaza - Sent from mobile version

Today, when I threw away my cigarette out of the car window, the wind blew it back in again. My trousers got completely burnt. FML

#327
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7496) - you deserved it (61886)

On 11/18/2008 at 5:37am - misc - by brebis - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML

#326
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33408) - you deserved it (8718)

On 11/18/2008 at 2:36am - love - by Otherguy - Sent from mobile version

Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the arse. FML

#325
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23510) - you deserved it (22231)

On 11/18/2008 at 1:42am - animals - by AgathedeBlouse - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML

#324
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26850) - you deserved it (1779)

On 11/17/2008 at 11:42pm - misc - by ... - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in an online chatroom speaking to this girl that I really hit it off with. She then confided in me that she'd recently been dumped by her boyfriend and that he was a jerk. A little while later, we exchanged photos. It was my ex. FML

#321
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44736) - you deserved it (8297)

On 11/17/2008 at 6:27am - love - by Darkheaven - Sent from mobile version



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