FMLs submitted from France

Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML

by Clader / 12/09/2008 at 10:09pm / Love

Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I crunched my pen and crushed my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML

by Heyme / 12/09/2008 at 8:50am / Miscellaneous

Today, I arrived right on time for my train. Only problem, it was the wrong station. FML

by Idi / 12/09/2008 at 7:54am / Transportation

Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML

by Velian / 12/09/2008 at 3:59am / Love

Today, I went to fill up my car. 500 metres before the petrol station, I saw a group of motorcyclists in my rear view mirror. I slowed down and pulled over to let them past. In fact, they were also going to fill up. 35 motorcyclists and 2 petrol pumps. FML

by gui909 / 12/09/2008 at 2:01am / Transportation

Today, I wanted to join the bus drivers strike. I couldn't… the buses were on strike. FML

by noname / 12/08/2008 at 9:03pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I wanted to wake up my sweetheart with a surprise blowjob. He surprised me as well with a knee to the stomach. FML

by Soline / 12/08/2008 at 7:05am / Intimacy

Today, I met someone with the same name as me for the first time ever. I'm 20 years old, he is 97. FML

by Heyhey / 12/08/2008 at 3:46am / Miscellaneous

Today, I pointed out to my girlfriend that she wasn't jealous. She replied, "Well actually, I am, I just can't prove it cause no one else is interested in you". FML

by Numou / 12/08/2008 at 2:26am / Love

Today, I warned my boss that I couldn't take part in a very important meeting I've been working on for 6 months (my son is ill). "Never mind" he said, "We'll just put a pot plant on your seat". FML

by Butterfly / 12/07/2008 at 10:21pm / Love

Today, the girl I've been hitting on for months on MSN and that I'm about to meet told me "I know you are in love, and you know I'm not". Erm, no, I didn't know. FML

by Titanic / 12/07/2008 at 3:46am / Love

Today, I was on a transatlantic flight, ear plugs in my ears. The steward walked past with a plastic bag. I threw my litter into it and didn't immediately understand why he said, "Very funny, sir." It wasn't a bin bag, he was collecting for Unicef. FML

by greg76 / 12/06/2008 at 10:49pm / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend was lying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passionate eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me he loved me. But instead he said "You have a bogey". FML

by Sybille / 12/06/2008 at 7:14am / Love