Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from France

Today, when I woke up, my husband was already up. Thinking I hear him in the hall I shout out "come on, don't be shy, bring that cock in here right now!". A voice replies: "he's gone out to get some bread". It was my mother-in-law. FML

#351
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41180) - you deserved it (15451)

On 11/20/2008 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by Tinker-Bell - Sent from mobile version

Today, I get to see my boyfriend again after a month. So I decided to shave my pubic hair in the shape of a heart. After my little striptease, he gasped in admiration "Aaaw, Batman sign!" FML

#349
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30276) - you deserved it (14804)

On 11/20/2008 at 7:55am - love - by batgirl - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's my one year anniversary with my husband. I put on a sexy outfit, red dress and slinky underwear, and waited for him to get home. He walked in the door and asked me with a quizzical look if I was going out tonight. FML

#348
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30341) - you deserved it (3075)

On 11/20/2008 at 6:10am - love - by Ciabatta - Sent from mobile version

Today, after making love to my girlfriend, I realised that the phone was on the bed and because of the movements, it called my dad by itself. It went to voicemail. My dad will soon have all the details. FML

#346
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37464) - you deserved it (8952)

On 11/20/2008 at 5:19am - intimacy - by Maxime - Sent from mobile version

Today, while I was out, I was having a drink with a pretty girl. She started looking at my crotch and said, smiling, "There's something burning down there." I smiled, but she insisted. Ashes had set my trousers on fire. FML

#345
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24124) - you deserved it (4698)

On 11/19/2008 at 11:37pm - misc - by lageste - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she bought for me. I said joking: "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML

#343
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26266) - you deserved it (16964)

On 11/19/2008 at 6:33am - love - by Mazzam - Sent from mobile version

Today, I bought myself an MP3 player. Later, I was laying in bed, listening to music and eating a bowl of cereal, when I went to move the bowl of cereal on the bedside table for some shut eye. I dropped my MP3 player into the leftover milk. FML

#342
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10599) - you deserved it (24985)

On 11/19/2008 at 6:02am - money - by Blue - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to work 300 miles away from where I live. I couldn't find my customer's address, so I decided to call him. I'd picked up my wireless house phone instead of my mobile. FML

#339
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21804) - you deserved it (8221)

On 11/19/2008 at 3:00am - work - by comphone - Sent from mobile version

Today, I spent the night in hospital. As soon as I was alone, I writhed and twisted in all directions in my attempts to pee in a bottle left precisely for that purpose. It was at that moment that the doctor, a good-looking guy, came in. My legs were spread wide and I was right in the middle of doing my business. FML

#338
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28866) - you deserved it (2867)

On 11/19/2008 at 12:59am - health - by la poisse - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML

#337
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42923) - you deserved it (4161)

On 11/18/2008 at 11:58pm - intimacy - by Gwayhir - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tried demonstrate to my little brother that, unlike what he sees in cartoons, it is impossible to slip on a banana peel. I'm not too sure he's convinced. FML

#336
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8561) - you deserved it (33186)

On 11/18/2008 at 10:44pm - kids - by j0j0 - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I was on a date with my new boyfriend. I acted very flirty and laughed very loudly to show him how funny he was. I laughed so loudly that I farted. FML

#329
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27610) - you deserved it (18915)

On 11/18/2008 at 7:16am - love - by elsaza - Sent from mobile version

Today, when I threw away my cigarette out of the car window, the wind blew it back in again. My trousers got completely burnt. FML

#327
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7471) - you deserved it (61722)

On 11/18/2008 at 5:37am - misc - by brebis - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: