FMLs submitted from France

Today, I wanted to join the bus drivers strike. I couldn't… the buses were on strike. FML

Today, I wanted to wake up my sweetheart with a surprise blowjob. He surprised me as well with a knee to the stomach. FML

by Soline / 12/08/2008 at 7:05am / Intimacy

Today, I met someone with the same name as me for the first time ever. I'm 20 years old, he is 97. FML

Today, I pointed out to my girlfriend that she wasn't jealous. She replied, "Well actually, I am, I just can't prove it cause no one else is interested in you". FML

by Numou / 12/08/2008 at 2:26am / Love

Today, I warned my boss that I couldn't take part in a very important meeting I've been working on for 6 months (my son is ill). "Never mind" he said, "We'll just put a pot plant on your seat". FML

by Butterfly / 12/07/2008 at 10:21pm / Love

Today, the girl I've been hitting on for months on MSN and that I'm about to meet told me "I know you are in love, and you know I'm not". Erm, no, I didn't know. FML

by Titanic / 12/07/2008 at 3:46am / Love

Today, I was on a transatlantic flight, ear plugs in my ears. The steward walked past with a plastic bag. I threw my litter into it and didn't immediately understand why he said, "Very funny, sir." It wasn't a bin bag, he was collecting for Unicef. FML

Today, my boyfriend was lying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passionate eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me he loved me. But instead he said "You have a bogey". FML

by Sybille / 12/06/2008 at 7:14am / Love

Today, my brand new and very expensive laser printer does actually print 10 times faster than my old one. Except there's nothing printed on the paper. Never mind, at least it makes a cool sound. FML

by harry / 12/06/2008 at 2:51am / Geek

Today, I decided to spend a night of love with my darling, so I arranged to meet him in a very classy hotel, gave him the room number and waited in a super-sexy outfit. There was a knock at the door, so I opened it enticingly, convinced it was him. It was room service. FML

by vaness@ / 12/05/2008 at 11:54pm / Intimacy

Today, I attended my first meeting with my bosses. For lunch we went to a restaurant. I choked on a piece of meat and couldn't breathe anymore. I had to take that piece of meat out of my throat with my fingers, and then put it back on my plate all chewed up. FML

by Macdaddy / 12/05/2008 at 7:49am / Work

Today, and as for the rest of my life, I will always have a husband whose breath stinks. FML

by nothisfault / 12/04/2008 at 11:40pm / Love

Today, I was sitting on the bus on my commute to work, when I nodded off on the charming young man next to me. Something cold and wet touched me, and I looked down to see a small pool of my saliva collecting on my chest. The man thought this was hilarious. FML

by Kerlane / 12/04/2008 at 10:45pm / Transportation