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FMLs submitted from France

Today, it's my one year anniversary with my husband. I put on a sexy outfit, red dress and slinky underwear, and waited for him to get home. He walked in the door and asked me with a quizzical look if I was going out tonight. FML

#348
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27946) - you deserved it (2843)

On 11/20/2008 at 6:10am - love - by Ciabatta - Sent from mobile version

Today, after making love to my girlfriend, I realised that the phone was on the bed and because of the movements, it called my dad by itself. It went to voicemail. My dad will soon have all the details. FML

#346
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36463) - you deserved it (8768)

On 11/20/2008 at 5:19am - intimacy - by Maxime - Sent from mobile version

Today, while I was out, I was having a drink with a pretty girl. She started looking at my crotch and said, smiling, "There's something burning down there." I smiled, but she insisted. Ashes had set my trousers on fire. FML

#345
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23320) - you deserved it (4574)

On 11/19/2008 at 11:37pm - misc - by lageste - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she bought for me. I said joking: "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML

#343
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25729) - you deserved it (16742)

On 11/19/2008 at 6:33am - love - by Mazzam - Sent from mobile version

Today, I bought myself an MP3 player. Later, I was laying in bed, listening to music and eating a bowl of cereal, when I went to move the bowl of cereal on the bedside table for some shut eye. I dropped my MP3 player into the leftover milk. FML

#342
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10556) - you deserved it (24919)

On 11/19/2008 at 6:02am - money - by Blue - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to work 300 miles away from where I live. I couldn't find my customer's address, so I decided to call him. I'd picked up my wireless house phone instead of my mobile. FML

#339
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21698) - you deserved it (8203)

On 11/19/2008 at 3:00am - work - by comphone - Sent from mobile version

Today, I spent the night in hospital. As soon as I was alone, I writhed and twisted in all directions in my attempts to pee in a bottle left precisely for that purpose. It was at that moment that the doctor, a good-looking guy, came in. My legs were spread wide and I was right in the middle of doing my business. FML

#338
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28767) - you deserved it (2854)

On 11/19/2008 at 12:59am - health - by la poisse - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML

#337
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42761) - you deserved it (4152)

On 11/18/2008 at 11:58pm - intimacy - by Gwayhir - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tried demonstrate to my little brother that, unlike what he sees in cartoons, it is impossible to slip on a banana peel. I'm not too sure he's convinced. FML

#336
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8302) - you deserved it (32565)

On 11/18/2008 at 10:44pm - kids - by j0j0 - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I was on a date with my new boyfriend. I acted very flirty and laughed very loudly to show him how funny he was. I laughed so loudly that I farted. FML

#329
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27563) - you deserved it (18868)

On 11/18/2008 at 7:16am - love - by elsaza - Sent from mobile version

Today, when I threw away my cigarette out of the car window, the wind blew it back in again. My trousers got completely burnt. FML

#327
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7452) - you deserved it (61618)

On 11/18/2008 at 5:37am - misc - by brebis - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML

#326
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30462) - you deserved it (8218)

On 11/18/2008 at 2:36am - love - by Otherguy - Sent from mobile version

Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the arse. FML

#325
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23411) - you deserved it (22124)

On 11/18/2008 at 1:42am - animals - by AgathedeBlouse - Sent from mobile version



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