Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from France

Today, my girlfriend said to me, "You know, you only have to wash 3 times a week to be clean." FML

#309
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27229) - you deserved it (6829)

On 11/16/2008 at 12:54am - love - by Pepe - Sent from mobile version

Today, I drank a beer that I thought was mine, it wasn't and someone had put out their cigarette in it. FML

#757
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21963) - you deserved it (9928)

On 11/15/2008 at 10:36pm - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

#305
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22537) - you deserved it (12566)

On 11/14/2008 at 10:27pm - animals - by dooommage - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML

#303
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38151) - you deserved it (20378)

On 11/14/2008 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Kaji - Sent from mobile version

Today, I ate at a friend's house. Her 5-year-old son, who was at the table with us, looked at me and said quietly, "You're ugly." My friend told him off, causing him to cry, and shout, "But she isn't pretty!" FML

#301
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51354) - you deserved it (4405)

On 11/13/2008 at 11:16pm - kids - by mimo - Sent from mobile version

Today, I helped my son do his maths homework. He got a C and won’t talk to me anymore. FML

#298
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27637) - you deserved it (15775)

On 11/13/2008 at 6:39am - kids - by pinpin - Sent from mobile version

Today, I took advantage of the fact that my wife was sleeping to watch a porn film on my computer. I put headphones on so that she wouldn't hear. It wasn't until she came out of her bedroom that I realised I hadn't plugged them in properly. FML

#296
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9114) - you deserved it (51230)

On 11/13/2008 at 5:31am - intimacy - by Skylan - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss said to me: 'You know, our competitors are also hiring!' FML

#295
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25180) - you deserved it (2514)

On 11/13/2008 at 3:42am - work - by Lopez - Sent from mobile version

Today, my son forgot to log out of MSN. He had written, "When am I getting out of this place?" and his username was "mother fucker". FML

#293
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27826) - you deserved it (6828)

On 11/13/2008 at 1:51am - kids - by syle - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML

#292
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34820) - you deserved it (1866)

On 11/12/2008 at 10:57pm - work - by 911 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I scratched my cornea and have to wear a large bandage covering my eye. I'm off today, but I'll probably have to wear it to school tomorrow. FML

#756
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22141) - you deserved it (5260)

On 11/12/2008 at 10:01pm - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm still in love with my ex boyfriend who is going out with someone else. But at least I now know that he's gay. FML

#755
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32231) - you deserved it (3650)

On 11/12/2008 at 9:46pm - love - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I remember the first night I spent with my first English boyfriend. I'm French, and when we woke up, I said in my most sexy voice "Oh, I'm so dirty!" It's only when he left that I finally understood the look on his face; I wanted to have a glass of water. I was thirsty, not dirty. FML

#286
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28550) - you deserved it (6981)

On 11/12/2008 at 3:10am - intimacy - by aur - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: