FMLs submitted from France

Today, I woke up beside a disgusting guy I didn't know. He told me he was the best friend of the handsome guy I was hitting on yesterday evening. I can't remember at which point I got mislead into bringing the wrong one home. FML

by elo / 12/20/2008 at 12:50am / Love

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

by chicochico / 12/19/2008 at 11:05am / Intimacy

Today, I got ready to stay over at my boyfriend's house. I brought food, new lingerie, and I got a bikini wax. I did stay overnight, but I was holding a bucket for him because he had gastroenteritis. FML

by Carla J. / 12/19/2008 at 12:41am / Love

Today, I decided to put my computer on slideshow mode. Did you know that hidden files are also read when you put slideshow on? I discovered this, as did my entire family, when my naked girlfriend appeared on the screen. FML

by Mr Hawks / 12/19/2008 at 12:17am / Geek

Today, and for the last two weeks I have been preparing my girlfriend for a break up with nasty remarks. She has been finding me exceptionally funny. FML

by Olive / 12/18/2008 at 11:11pm / Love

Today, it's my birthday. It's 6.30 pm. I'm still the only person aware of what day it is. FML

by poorgary / 12/18/2008 at 6:46am / Miscellaneous

Today, I got fed up with my neighbor who has been coughing, night and day, for six months. I rang at her door to tell her about several remedies I know of to help, so I could sleep. I thus found out she has lung cancer. FML

by kisyfrot / 12/17/2008 at 10:38pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my sweetheart came round to drop off some underwear which I'd left at his house. Not all of what he brought was mine. FML

by Lilie / 12/17/2008 at 5:25am / Love

Today, I was telling off one of my friends, a fellow student of medicine, who was spending his evenings watching "House" instead of revising for our important exam, as I was. The topic mentioned in the episode came up in the exam. He got 4 points more than I did. FML

by Gen / 12/17/2008 at 4:40am / Love

Today, I picked up my computer which had been at the repair shop for two weeks. I quickly logged on to MSN to talk to the girl who I'd been hitting on for weeks. Her profile picture was a photo of herself with her new boyfriend. FML

by Falouila / 12/17/2008 at 2:15am / Love

Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML

by bloom / 12/16/2008 at 11:10pm / Love

Today, I found the password to my boyfriend's MSN account. I was listed in the "booty call" category. FML

by Gen / 12/16/2008 at 2:05am / Love

Today, my mistress called my wife on the phone. FML

by surfdown / 12/16/2008 at 12:20am / Love