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FMLs submitted from France

Today, I decided to teach my dog not to be scared of the vacuum cleaner. I grab the handle and get it close to her. She runs off and hides behind the couch and pisses everywhere. FML

#502
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5912) - you deserved it (32475)

On 12/12/2008 at 7:08am - animals - by Slaanesh - Sent from mobile version

Today, I opened my laptop in the train to watch a good film I had downloaded. Of course, it was a fake and the whole carriage was allowed to watch and hear five seconds of butt licking. FML

#499
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16738) - you deserved it (9876)

On 12/12/2008 at 1:05am - misc - by Jumanji - Sent from mobile version

Today, I cut my nice and tasty home-made sandwich in half to give to a homeless man. He tasted it, pulled an unimpressed face, and then stuck it in his pocket. FML

#496
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20698) - you deserved it (2527)

On 12/11/2008 at 9:30pm - misc - by groom - Sent from mobile version

Today, my son laughed at me when I tried to get him to put a bit more effort into his schoolwork. His grandmother had kindly given him all my shitty school reports from when I was his age. FML

#493
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22141) - you deserved it (6790)

On 12/11/2008 at 7:21am - kids - by fataldisease - Sent from mobile version

Today, I argued with a boy from school over a girl. I didn't know he was a black belt judoka. I'm still in pain. FML

#492
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17847) - you deserved it (6777)

On 12/11/2008 at 5:40am - misc - by Pfff - Sent from mobile version

Today, a girl in my class turned around and said, "Wow, you've got your photo on a rubber! That's amazing!" The rubber was designed to look like a £10 note, and the picture was of the Queen of England. FML

#491
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17656) - you deserved it (1966)

On 12/11/2008 at 12:13am - misc - by Elizabeth - Sent from mobile version

Today, and for the third time this week, my bank manager called me to tell me that my account is still overdrawn. He doesn't seem to understand that my wages always get paid at the end of the month. FML

#488
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17711) - you deserved it (4266)

On 12/10/2008 at 6:09am - money - by dmlk - Sent from mobile version

Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML

#487
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33510) - you deserved it (6929)

On 12/10/2008 at 2:48am - intimacy - by Sugao - Sent from mobile version

Today, on the bus, a young high school boy sat down next to me and started to chat me up. I thought it was cute until he asked me which high school I was attending. I'm 27, I'm married, I have a child. FML

#483
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25032) - you deserved it (5519)

On 12/09/2008 at 11:58pm - kids - by Rita - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML

#482
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28614) - you deserved it (2445)

On 12/09/2008 at 10:09pm - love - by Clader - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I crunched my pen and crushed my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML

#479
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16079) - you deserved it (6089)

On 12/09/2008 at 8:50am - misc - by Heyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I arrived right on time for my train. Only problem, it was the wrong station. FML

#477
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16021) - you deserved it (7500)

On 12/09/2008 at 7:54am - misc - by Idi - Sent from mobile version

Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML

#476
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28575) - you deserved it (4090)

On 12/09/2008 at 3:59am - love - by Velian - Sent from mobile version



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