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FMLs submitted from France

Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML

#447
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9265) - you deserved it (55201)

On 12/04/2008 at 12:55am - intimacy - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML

#446
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27819) - you deserved it (8145)

On 12/03/2008 at 11:39pm - kids - by Noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realised that the steamy photos that I took with my ex a few months ago had not been erased from his father's camera. FML

#441
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23239) - you deserved it (16698)

On 12/03/2008 at 2:26am - intimacy - by Yum - Sent from mobile version

Today, in front of a hospital, I noticed that an old lady was having trouble lighting her cigarette because she had Parkison's. So I went to help her to light it up and she then started chatting with me and told me she had lung cancer. FML

#440
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23575) - you deserved it (6055)

On 12/03/2008 at 1:11am - health - by Anto - Sent from mobile version

Today, I said thanks to a man who got up for me in the bus. He angrily said "no, not you!". The old lady who sat down is now staring at me. FML

#439
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17585) - you deserved it (6559)

On 12/03/2008 at 12:04am - misc - by pam - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML

#437
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41241) - you deserved it (5996)

On 12/02/2008 at 3:27am - intimacy - by hell! - Sent from mobile version

Today, my philosophy teacher asked me about my parents. I replied that my mum was a cleaner and my dad was a bus driver. In an astonished voice, she said, "But, you're clever..." FML

#434
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30071) - you deserved it (1885)

On 12/02/2008 at 1:32am - misc - by lamb-chop - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sent a text message to my boyfriend, saying "Come over in an hour, I love you." An hour later, the doorbell rang. It was my ex, looking happy and still as taken with me as before, with a bunch of roses. I'd got the wrong number. My ex and my boyfriend have the same name. FML

#432
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11746) - you deserved it (37531)

On 12/01/2008 at 11:57pm - love - by eleonor - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend told me that I was irrationally jealous. I’ve just learnt that she has a website where she masturbates in front of a webcam. FML

#426
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55662) - you deserved it (3428)

On 12/01/2008 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Maestro - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had an important interview. On the way there, I stopped in front of a car window to look at my reflection, checking I didn't have salad stuck between my teeth. Having pulled several faces, I realised that there were two girls inside the car, cracking up with laughter. FML

#419
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18931) - you deserved it (10032)

On 11/30/2008 at 5:51am - misc - by Groom - Sent from mobile version

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. We all looked together at family photos on the computer. The first picture was a close up of my mother, bare breasts in full view. FML

#417
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28822) - you deserved it (2307)

On 11/29/2008 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Rosies - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband invited his boss and his wife to dinner. During the meal, I tasted the wine and apologised for its bad quality, somewhat annoyed: "Dont drink that, I'll go and look for another bottle." Unfortunately, it was our guests who had brought the wine in question. FML

#416
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21069) - you deserved it (8832)

On 11/29/2008 at 11:11am - misc - by Buzz - Sent from mobile version

Today, well actually last night, I did a full striptease for my girlfriend to "You can leave your hat on". When the song was over, I was then completely naked, she says to me : "Maybe we should have closed the shutters!" FML

#413
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31232) - you deserved it (10446)

On 11/29/2008 at 6:50am - intimacy - by ... - Sent from mobile version



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