Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from France

Today, my boyfriend was lying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passionate eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me he loved me. But instead he said "You have a bogey". FML

#459
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23328) - you deserved it (3436)

On 12/06/2008 at 7:14am - love - by Sybille - Sent from mobile version

Today, my brand new and very expensive laser printer does actually print 10 times faster than my old one. Except there's nothing printed on the paper. Never mind, at least it makes a cool sound. FML

#458
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20095) - you deserved it (3560)

On 12/06/2008 at 2:51am - misc - by harry - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to spend a night of love with my darling, so I arranged to meet him in a very classy hotel, gave him the room number and waited in a super-sexy outfit. There was a knock at the door, so I opened it enticingly, convinced it was him. It was room service. FML

#457
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27180) - you deserved it (9977)

On 12/05/2008 at 11:54pm - intimacy - by vaness@ - Sent from mobile version

Today, I attended my first meeting with my bosses. For lunch we went to a restaurant. I choked on a piece of meat and couldn't breathe anymore. I had to take that piece of meat out of my throat with my fingers, and then put it back on my plate all chewed up. FML

#453
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20243) - you deserved it (2825)

On 12/05/2008 at 7:49am - work - by Macdaddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, and as for the rest of my life, I will always have a husband whose breath stinks. FML

#451
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15435) - you deserved it (24271)

On 12/04/2008 at 11:40pm - love - by nothisfault - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was sitting on the bus on my commute to work, when I nodded off on the charming young man next to me. Something cold and wet touched me, and I looked down to see a small pool of my saliva collecting on my chest. The man thought this was hilarious. FML

#450
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18840) - you deserved it (4328)

On 12/04/2008 at 10:45pm - misc - by Kerlane - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm heading towards my car clutching a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend, when along comes a sweet old lady who says: "it's not flowers she wants, it's some lovin'!". The elderly sure aren't what they used to be. FML

#449
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22152) - you deserved it (3054)

On 12/04/2008 at 6:16am - misc - by DarkPhoenix - Sent from mobile version

Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML

#447
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8853) - you deserved it (53975)

On 12/04/2008 at 12:55am - intimacy - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML

#446
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27772) - you deserved it (8138)

On 12/03/2008 at 11:39pm - kids - by Noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realised that the steamy photos that I took with my ex a few months ago had not been erased from his father's camera. FML

#441
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22503) - you deserved it (16314)

On 12/03/2008 at 2:26am - intimacy - by Yum - Sent from mobile version

Today, in front of a hospital, I noticed that an old lady was having trouble lighting her cigarette because she had Parkison's. So I went to help her to light it up and she then started chatting with me and told me she had lung cancer. FML

#440
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22951) - you deserved it (5955)

On 12/03/2008 at 1:11am - health - by Anto - Sent from mobile version

Today, I said thanks to a man who got up for me in the bus. He angrily said "no, not you!". The old lady who sat down is now staring at me. FML

#439
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17549) - you deserved it (6556)

On 12/03/2008 at 12:04am - misc - by pam - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML

#437
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41199) - you deserved it (5992)

On 12/02/2008 at 3:27am - intimacy - by hell! - Sent from mobile version



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: