FMLs submitted from France

Today, I crashed my car racing backwards and told my parents I was rear ended. They made me call the police and file a report. I hope there were no cameras. FML

by / 12/31/2008 at 1:23pm / Transportation

Today, the incredibly handsome, talented, hilarious, and intelligent man that I've fallen head over heels like no other for is gay. FML

by Noname / 12/31/2008 at 1:03pm / Love

Today, I attended a speed dating evening. After 7 minutes, the girl told me she wasn't interested. I asked her at what point of the conversation she had made up her mind, she answered: "When you said 'Hello'. Goodbye". FML

by Aintnosunshine / 12/30/2008 at 10:48pm / Love

Today, my first (and only true) date ended with the girl saying "Thanks for dinner, I was hungry - and oh, by the way, I'm a lesbian". FML

by / 12/30/2008 at 10:21pm / Love

Today, I am spending new year absolutely alone. My girlfriend canceled our plans the day before so she could spend it with alcohol and strangers. Somehow, I still love her. FML

by / 12/30/2008 at 8:36pm / Love

Today, when I saw a big box that looked like a playstation, I got really excited and my parents were there and everything looked like it really was something big, so I start to open the wrapper and surprise... it was a lamp. FML

by / 12/30/2008 at 3:30pm / Money

Today, after going to college for 5 years to become an architect I discover my plumber makes more than I do. FML

by / 12/30/2008 at 6:16am / Work

Today, as a prank I shook my girlfriend's can of soda. I hadn't noticed that it was already open. FML

by Simon / 12/30/2008 at 6:14am / Miscellaneous

Today, my two favorite things in the world are Pizza and Beer... I now discover I have Celiac and can't have either. FML

by / 12/30/2008 at 5:41am / Health

Today, I was at a job interview at McDonalds. All was going well until the manager told me that I'd have to remove the piercing that I have on my eyebrow. I didn't think that my mole would be so confusing. FML

by Cody / 12/30/2008 at 4:35am / Work

Today, I went swimming. While I was walking along side of the pool, everyone was staring at me. I began to think that my diet was really working. It was only an hour later, in the changing rooms, that I noticed the string from my Tampax that was sticking out of my swimming costume. FML

by mimimi / 12/30/2008 at 1:24am / Miscellaneous

Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML

by sneezer / 12/29/2008 at 11:54pm / Love

Today, I just realised that the coworker I refused to leave my wife for is now happily married with someone else, while I'm now divorced. FML

by / 12/29/2008 at 11:34pm / Love