Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from France

Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML

#476
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26042) - you deserved it (3806)

On 12/09/2008 at 3:59am - love - by Velian - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to fill up my car. 500 metres before the petrol station, I saw a group of motorcyclists in my rear view mirror. I slowed down and pulled over to let them past. In fact, they were also going to fill up. 35 motorcyclists and 2 petrol pumps. FML

#475
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18913) - you deserved it (6046)

On 12/09/2008 at 2:01am - misc - by gui909 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I wanted to join the bus drivers strike. I couldn't… the buses were on strike. FML

#473
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16041) - you deserved it (4429)

On 12/08/2008 at 9:03pm - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I wanted to wake up my sweetheart with a surprise blowjob. He surprised me as well with a knee to the stomach. FML

#469
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29195) - you deserved it (7771)

On 12/08/2008 at 7:05am - intimacy - by Soline - Sent from mobile version

Today, I met someone with the same name as me for the first time ever. I'm 20 years old, he is 97. FML

#467
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19587) - you deserved it (3996)

On 12/08/2008 at 3:46am - misc - by Heyhey - Sent from mobile version

Today, I pointed out to my girlfriend that she wasn't jealous. She replied, "Well actually, I am, I just can't prove it cause no one else is interested in you". FML

#466
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22787) - you deserved it (3477)

On 12/08/2008 at 2:26am - love - by Numou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I warned my boss that I couldn't take part in a very important meeting I've been working on for 6 months (my son is ill). "Never mind" he said, "We'll just put a pot plant on your seat". FML

#465
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21815) - you deserved it (2395)

On 12/07/2008 at 10:21pm - love - by Butterfly - Sent from mobile version

Today, the girl I've been hitting on for months on MSN and that I'm about to meet told me "I know you are in love, and you know I'm not". Erm, no, I didn't know. FML

#464
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19123) - you deserved it (4376)

On 12/07/2008 at 3:46am - love - by Titanic - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on a transatlantic flight, ear plugs in my ears. The steward walked past with a plastic bag. I threw my litter into it and didn't immediately understand why he said, "Very funny, sir." It wasn't a bin bag, he was collecting for Unicef. FML

#461
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17962) - you deserved it (8468)

On 12/06/2008 at 10:49pm - misc - by greg76 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend was lying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passionate eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me he loved me. But instead he said "You have a bogey". FML

#459
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22617) - you deserved it (3359)

On 12/06/2008 at 7:14am - love - by Sybille - Sent from mobile version

Today, my brand new and very expensive laser printer does actually print 10 times faster than my old one. Except there's nothing printed on the paper. Never mind, at least it makes a cool sound. FML

#458
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20045) - you deserved it (3555)

On 12/06/2008 at 2:51am - misc - by harry - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to spend a night of love with my darling, so I arranged to meet him in a very classy hotel, gave him the room number and waited in a super-sexy outfit. There was a knock at the door, so I opened it enticingly, convinced it was him. It was room service. FML

#457
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27105) - you deserved it (9969)

On 12/05/2008 at 11:54pm - intimacy - by vaness@ - Sent from mobile version

Today, I attended my first meeting with my bosses. For lunch we went to a restaurant. I choked on a piece of meat and couldn't breathe anymore. I had to take that piece of meat out of my throat with my fingers, and then put it back on my plate all chewed up. FML

#453
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20214) - you deserved it (2821)

On 12/05/2008 at 7:49am - work - by Macdaddy - Sent from mobile version



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you know any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: