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FMLs submitted from France

Today, I attended my first meeting with my bosses. For lunch we went to a restaurant. I choked on a piece of meat and couldn't breathe anymore. I had to take that piece of meat out of my throat with my fingers, and then put it back on my plate all chewed up. FML

#453
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19943) - you deserved it (2798)

On 12/05/2008 at 7:49am - work - by Macdaddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, and as for the rest of my life, I will always have a husband whose breath stinks. FML

#451
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15383) - you deserved it (24186)

On 12/04/2008 at 11:40pm - love - by nothisfault - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was sitting on the bus on my commute to work, when I nodded off on the charming young man next to me. Something cold and wet touched me, and I looked down to see a small pool of my saliva collecting on my chest. The man thought this was hilarious. FML

#450
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18728) - you deserved it (4321)

On 12/04/2008 at 10:45pm - misc - by Kerlane - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm heading towards my car clutching a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend, when along comes a sweet old lady who says: "it's not flowers she wants, it's some lovin'!". The elderly sure aren't what they used to be. FML

#449
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21635) - you deserved it (2998)

On 12/04/2008 at 6:16am - misc - by DarkPhoenix - Sent from mobile version

Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML

#447
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8783) - you deserved it (53726)

On 12/04/2008 at 12:55am - intimacy - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML

#446
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27627) - you deserved it (8123)

On 12/03/2008 at 11:39pm - kids - by Noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realised that the steamy photos that I took with my ex a few months ago had not been erased from his father's camera. FML

#441
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22398) - you deserved it (16266)

On 12/03/2008 at 2:26am - intimacy - by Yum - Sent from mobile version

Today, in front of a hospital, I noticed that an old lady was having trouble lighting her cigarette because she had Parkison's. So I went to help her to light it up and she then started chatting with me and told me she had lung cancer. FML

#440
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22469) - you deserved it (5885)

On 12/03/2008 at 1:11am - health - by Anto - Sent from mobile version

Today, I said thanks to a man who got up for me in the bus. He angrily said "no, not you!". The old lady who sat down is now staring at me. FML

#439
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17438) - you deserved it (6542)

On 12/03/2008 at 12:04am - misc - by pam - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML

#437
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41070) - you deserved it (5983)

On 12/02/2008 at 3:27am - intimacy - by hell! - Sent from mobile version

Today, my philosophy teacher asked me about my parents. I replied that my mum was a cleaner and my dad was a bus driver. In an astonished voice, she said, "But, you're clever..." FML

#434
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29886) - you deserved it (1879)

On 12/02/2008 at 1:32am - misc - by lamb-chop - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sent a text message to my boyfriend, saying "Come over in an hour, I love you." An hour later, the doorbell rang. It was my ex, looking happy and still as taken with me as before, with a bunch of roses. I'd got the wrong number. My ex and my boyfriend have the same name. FML

#432
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11664) - you deserved it (37333)

On 12/01/2008 at 11:57pm - love - by eleonor - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend told me that I was irrationally jealous. I’ve just learnt that she has a website where she masturbates in front of a webcam. FML

#426
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54231) - you deserved it (3315)

On 12/01/2008 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Maestro - Sent from mobile version



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