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FMLs submitted from France

Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he went up the stairs, "It stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the bin. We can eat sandwiches. FML

#577
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26176) - you deserved it (3207)

On 12/23/2008 at 1:47am - misc - by zazadudu - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss asked me "can I give you some constructive criticism?". I said yes. He tells me "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML

#576
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27737) - you deserved it (3339)

On 12/22/2008 at 11:18pm - work - by crapules - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decide to go to my ex-girlfriend's house to bring her stuff back. I broke up with her earlier this week after a 2 year relationship, and I'd hoped she would have realized her mistake and ask me to stay for a bit and talk. I ring the doorbell and her new boyfriend opens the door. FML

#572
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22325) - you deserved it (9586)

On 12/22/2008 at 6:54am - love - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answer: 'Well, you don't kiss me often either!". So now she keeps kissing me. FML

#570
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8517) - you deserved it (38337)

On 12/22/2008 at 2:45am - love - by Julian - Sent from mobile version

Today, someone stole both rear view mirrors from my scooter. And where was the police? They were 500m down the road, waiting to stop me for not having any mirrors. FML

#569
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29543) - you deserved it (1967)

On 12/22/2008 at 12:43am - money - by daddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm 65 years old, and I've been given a bottle of wine produced in the year I was born. The wine tastes foul; not a good omen. FML

#563
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19717) - you deserved it (2373)

On 12/21/2008 at 7:14am - misc - by Phil - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend told me that she woke up after yesterday’s party with someone else’s trousers. FML

#562
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20750) - you deserved it (1865)

On 12/21/2008 at 4:40am - love - by Yudor - Sent from mobile version

Today, I played a table tennis final in public. After winning, I went to shake my opponent's hand. He doesn't react or move. It was only the first set. FML

#560
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16515) - you deserved it (10844)

On 12/21/2008 at 2:00am - misc - by Bito - Sent from mobile version

Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML

#559
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20399) - you deserved it (2162)

On 12/21/2008 at 12:04am - misc - by Loola - Sent from mobile version

Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML

#557
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21750) - you deserved it (7259)

On 12/20/2008 at 7:23am - kids - by Lola - Sent from mobile version

Today, I opened a packet of cereal and it exploded on my keyboard; now, my keyboard crackles. FML

#556
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15740) - you deserved it (10297)

On 12/20/2008 at 3:16am - misc - by Rabzouz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up beside a disgusting guy I didn't know. He told me he was the best friend of the handsome guy I was hitting on yesterday evening. I can't remember at which point I got mislead into bringing the wrong one home. FML

#555
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5801) - you deserved it (26384)

On 12/20/2008 at 12:50am - misc - by elo - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

#552
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54033) - you deserved it (6586)

On 12/19/2008 at 11:05am - intimacy - by chicochico - Sent from mobile version



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