FMLs submitted from France

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

by / 01/03/2009 at 11:48am / Intimacy

Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML

by sm@rtie / 01/03/2009 at 3:38am / Miscellaneous

Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

by noname / 01/02/2009 at 10:26pm / Kids

Today, my mother bought me some "biodegradable" tissues. Indeed, they melted… in my hand. FML

by mc / 01/02/2009 at 9:12pm / Miscellaneous

Today, at 7 in the morning, I end up outside in a night dress, with bare feet and in the rain. I've just found out that my two year old son now knows how to close the patio door, which of course, has no outside door handle. FML

by lilou / 01/02/2009 at 8:22pm / Kids

Today, I have dark hairs growing on my chest, nipples and stomach... I'm a 19 year old girl. FML

by / 01/02/2009 at 1:06pm / Health

Today, my girlfriend confessed to me that she wants to dress me up with her clothes, with wig and makeup. FML

by / 01/02/2009 at 10:53am / Intimacy

Today, the only man who has ever fallen in love with me is bald. FML

by joe / 01/02/2009 at 6:09am / France (Auvergne) / Love

Today, I received a text message from my girlfriend saying: "Do you remember last time we slept together?", I answer straight away "Of course I do, it was great!". To which she replies: "I hope you made the most of it: it was the last". FML

by Godmish / 01/02/2009 at 12:37am / Love

Today, I marked 600 emails in my gmail inbox as spam and it will take me hours to go through and unmark them. FML

by / 01/01/2009 at 11:34pm / Work

Today, my boss got a promotion and I got laid off. FML

by / 01/01/2009 at 1:21pm / Work

Today, me and my sister hear a buzzing noise in our parent's bedroom. We go to investigate. It's coming from a drawer. We open it up. Battery operated dildo. FML

by / 01/01/2009 at 12:54pm / Intimacy

Today, I'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. On new years, my mom called and asked what kind of champagne I want. FML

by / 01/01/2009 at 10:38am / Health