Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from France

Today, I send a text message to my ex-boyfriend, who dumped me four months ago, telling him to come back. His answer: "feeling-wise I won't come back to you, but sexually, why not". FML

#602
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11378) - you deserved it (23382)

On 12/26/2008 at 2:53am - intimacy - by Laloose - Sent from mobile version

Today, I dressed in my sexiest clothes to meet my new boyfriend at a restaurant. As I was a bit early, I took the opportunity to smoke a cigarette outside while I waited. The restaurant owner came out and said, "Hey, you. Go and 'work' somewhere else, please." FML

#600
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23359) - you deserved it (16911)

On 12/26/2008 at 1:32am - misc - by Lola - Sent from mobile version

Today, at work as an optician, I gave a little girl a new pair of glasses and asked her if she could see well with them. She replied, "Oh yes, you have two big spots on your nose!" FML

#599
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17507) - you deserved it (2167)

On 12/25/2008 at 11:53pm - work - by jamjamy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was reading the end of my book. I turn the page and see, written at the top: "Lauren kills Paul in the end... You shouldn't have pissed me off." It was from my sister, we had a fight yesterday. FML

#594
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22178) - you deserved it (6452)

On 12/25/2008 at 7:57am - misc - by poupi - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sat in the train and the old lady sitting next to me stares at my face. I ask her if she is ok and she starts yelling "Willy! It's you! Where have you been all this time?". The entire train trip went like this. FML

#593
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20513) - you deserved it (1581)

On 12/25/2008 at 5:30am - misc - by LDF - Sent from mobile version

Today, feeling romantic and overwhelmed with love, I told my fiancée: "I don't know what I'd do without you." She replied: "Well, you'd wank". FML

#591
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25678) - you deserved it (5792)

On 12/25/2008 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Nicos - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sent a text message to a guy I like, saying, "Dear Santa, I want to fall in love." He replied: "Wait for next Christmas..." FML

#590
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22491) - you deserved it (9903)

On 12/24/2008 at 8:54pm - love - by Marou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML

#585
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41685) - you deserved it (7857)

On 12/24/2008 at 6:19am - intimacy - by sixsix - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was jerking off in the train washroom when the ticket inspector knocked at the door. I was nearly done so I didn't open right away. I didn't think he would have the key…I found myself face to face with him and three other passengers. The worst being I didn't have a ticket. FML

#583
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8382) - you deserved it (65155)

On 12/24/2008 at 3:40am - intimacy - by lip - Sent from mobile version

Today, I phoned up my bank's customer service department. I waited eleven minutes on hold with the lovely music, and when a woman finally picked up, I ran out of phone credit. FML

#582
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19684) - you deserved it (2374)

On 12/24/2008 at 12:56am - money - by Colin - Sent from mobile version

Today, while I was looking for a file on my boyfriend's hard drive, I came across photos of a half-naked woman wearing my clothes, but whose head wasn't really visible. When I demanded an explanation, I realised that it wasn't another girl - it was him. FML

#581
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29586) - you deserved it (2865)

On 12/23/2008 at 11:11pm - love - by Lililaloose - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tested a new drug designed to fight headaches. It had quite an effect on me, more specifically side effects: nausea, dizzyness and diarrhea. FML

#579
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17888) - you deserved it (4255)

On 12/23/2008 at 3:57am - health - by blabla - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's my birthday. My ex just sent me a text. I read it, happy he had remembered. He wanted me to know he has a new girlfriend. FML

#578
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21634) - you deserved it (2007)

On 12/23/2008 at 2:43am - misc - by Plume - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: