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FMLs submitted from France

Today, I was reading the end of my book. I turn the page and see, written at the top: "Lauren kills Paul in the end... You shouldn't have pissed me off." It was from my sister, we had a fight yesterday. FML

#594
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22148) - you deserved it (6448)

On 12/25/2008 at 7:57am - misc - by poupi - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sat in the train and the old lady sitting next to me stares at my face. I ask her if she is ok and she starts yelling "Willy! It's you! Where have you been all this time?". The entire train trip went like this. FML

#593
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20492) - you deserved it (1581)

On 12/25/2008 at 5:30am - misc - by LDF - Sent from mobile version

Today, feeling romantic and overwhelmed with love, I told my fiancée: "I don't know what I'd do without you." She replied: "Well, you'd wank". FML

#591
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25658) - you deserved it (5790)

On 12/25/2008 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Nicos - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sent a text message to a guy I like, saying, "Dear Santa, I want to fall in love." He replied: "Wait for next Christmas..." FML

#590
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19923) - you deserved it (9111)

On 12/24/2008 at 8:54pm - love - by Marou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML

#585
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41666) - you deserved it (7855)

On 12/24/2008 at 6:19am - intimacy - by sixsix - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was jerking off in the train washroom when the ticket inspector knocked at the door. I was nearly done so I didn't open right away. I didn't think he would have the key…I found myself face to face with him and three other passengers. The worst being I didn't have a ticket. FML

#583
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8379) - you deserved it (65074)

On 12/24/2008 at 3:40am - intimacy - by lip - Sent from mobile version

Today, I phoned up my bank's customer service department. I waited eleven minutes on hold with the lovely music, and when a woman finally picked up, I ran out of phone credit. FML

#582
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19662) - you deserved it (2374)

On 12/24/2008 at 12:56am - money - by Colin - Sent from mobile version

Today, while I was looking for a file on my boyfriend's hard drive, I came across photos of a half-naked woman wearing my clothes, but whose head wasn't really visible. When I demanded an explanation, I realised that it wasn't another girl - it was him. FML

#581
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29558) - you deserved it (2865)

On 12/23/2008 at 11:11pm - love - by Lililaloose - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tested a new drug designed to fight headaches. It had quite an effect on me, more specifically side effects: nausea, dizzyness and diarrhea. FML

#579
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17869) - you deserved it (4254)

On 12/23/2008 at 3:57am - health - by blabla - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's my birthday. My ex just sent me a text. I read it, happy he had remembered. He wanted me to know he has a new girlfriend. FML

#578
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20687) - you deserved it (1908)

On 12/23/2008 at 2:43am - misc - by Plume - Sent from mobile version

Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he went up the stairs, "It stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the bin. We can eat sandwiches. FML

#577
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26139) - you deserved it (3205)

On 12/23/2008 at 1:47am - misc - by zazadudu - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss asked me "can I give you some constructive criticism?". I said yes. He tells me "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML

#576
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26292) - you deserved it (3199)

On 12/22/2008 at 11:18pm - work - by crapules - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decide to go to my ex-girlfriend's house to bring her stuff back. I broke up with her earlier this week after a 2 year relationship, and I'd hoped she would have realized her mistake and ask me to stay for a bit and talk. I ring the doorbell and her new boyfriend opens the door. FML

#572
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22294) - you deserved it (9578)

On 12/22/2008 at 6:54am - love - by noname - Sent from mobile version



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