Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from France

Today, I need to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone has left work, I decide that, since I AM a jedi, my penis ought to be my Light saber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: “At least someone is having fun!” It was my boss. FML

#523
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7700) - you deserved it (28822)

On 12/15/2008 at 10:58pm - work - by lopez - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told myself: "Go on you big geek, go outside, get some sun, get your ass away from in front of your PC, go for a walk". I finally muster the courage to leave my house. Without my keys. I've been in an internet cafe for four hours. FML

#519
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18513) - you deserved it (7811)

On 12/15/2008 at 2:11am - misc - by Dr_JF - Sent from mobile version

Today, I wanted to see if the frying pan was hot. I no longer have fingerprints. FML

#518
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7070) - you deserved it (49654)

On 12/15/2008 at 12:36am - misc - by bip - Sent from mobile version

Today, my Art Director once again turned down a demo model (for an advertisement) that I'd been working on for a week. This time he took his belt off and started thrashing the model to pieces. FML

#517
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23325) - you deserved it (1850)

On 12/14/2008 at 10:24pm - work - by Fuzy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I aimed at the little blue thing placed at the bottom of the urinal. I learned the hard way that it splashes off it and makes little blue stains on jumpers. FML

#511
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7108) - you deserved it (17386)

On 12/14/2008 at 6:31am - misc - by Guuu - Sent from mobile version

Today, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed my luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda." which earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML

#510
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6452) - you deserved it (57900)

On 12/14/2008 at 12:15am - misc - by Behemoth2 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML

#509
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10787) - you deserved it (59181)

On 12/13/2008 at 10:58pm - intimacy - by Mateo - Sent from mobile version

Today, a driver stole the parking space I was about to pull into. I politely asked him to move. He had a go at me, so I kick his car twice, in front of a few witnesses. The car is fine. I ripped two ligaments in my foot and I'll have a cast for a month. FML

#507
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6212) - you deserved it (33121)

On 12/13/2008 at 7:06am - misc - by Kikinovak - Sent from mobile version

Today, I help myself to a piece of a cake brought by guests at a birthday party. I don't like it much so I discreetly attempt to give it to the girl next to me. I ask her "Do you want some? It's sort of disgusting." She replies: "Thanks, I made it." FML

#506
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8796) - you deserved it (28658)

On 12/13/2008 at 1:54am - misc - by Nawel - Sent from mobile version

Today, my wife, in her magnificent wedding dress, had her period during the ceremony. How did I find out? The same way everyone else did. FML

#505
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44212) - you deserved it (2407)

On 12/13/2008 at 12:48am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, when I left the restaurant, the very handsome waiter whom I had been trying to tune all night says to me, in front of everyone "But why did you write your number on the table with hearts next to it? You know, I won't call you!" FML

#504
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22541) - you deserved it (6327)

On 12/12/2008 at 11:53pm - misc - by Peel - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to teach my dog not to be scared of the vacuum cleaner. I grab the handle and get it close to her. She runs off and hides behind the couch and pisses everywhere. FML

#502
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5867) - you deserved it (32250)

On 12/12/2008 at 7:08am - animals - by Slaanesh - Sent from mobile version

Today, I opened my laptop in the train to watch a good film I had downloaded. Of course, it was a fake and the whole carriage was allowed to watch and hear five seconds of butt licking. FML

#499
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16539) - you deserved it (9823)

On 12/12/2008 at 1:05am - misc - by Jumanji - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: