FMLs submitted from France

Today, I got unbelievably drunk and pissed in the corner of my room, all over a plug socket, which blew out the electrics. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2009 at 12:22am / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year old son. He wriggled away and said: "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or find another Simon!" FML

by sly / 01/03/2009 at 10:55pm / Kids

Today, to amuse my girlfriend I put on her sexy nightshirt and go out on the balcony for a smoke, wriggling about in front of her window. She laughs until one of her neighbors shouts "HELLO!" from the upper floor, grinning at the show. FML

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML

by sm@rtie / 01/03/2009 at 3:38am / Miscellaneous

Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

by noname / 01/02/2009 at 10:26pm / Kids

Today, my mother bought me some "biodegradable" tissues. Indeed, they melted… in my hand. FML

Today, at 7 in the morning, I end up outside in a night dress, with bare feet and in the rain. I've just found out that my two year old son now knows how to close the patio door, which of course, has no outside door handle. FML

by lilou / 01/02/2009 at 8:22pm / Kids

Today, I have dark hairs growing on my chest, nipples and stomach... I'm a 19 year old girl. FML

Today, my girlfriend confessed to me that she wants to dress me up with her clothes, with wig and makeup. FML

Today, the only man who has ever fallen in love with me is bald. FML

by joe / 01/02/2009 at 6:09am / France (Auvergne) / Love

Today, I received a text message from my girlfriend saying: "Do you remember last time we slept together?", I answer straight away "Of course I do, it was great!". To which she replies: "I hope you made the most of it: it was the last". FML

by Godmish / 01/02/2009 at 12:37am / Love

Today, I marked 600 emails in my gmail inbox as spam and it will take me hours to go through and unmark them. FML