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FMLs submitted from France

Today, my cat didn't quite manage to eat the whole turkey because it was frozen. He just licked it all over. FML

#615
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23592) - you deserved it (4654)

On 12/28/2008 at 2:02am - animals - by bundie - Sent from mobile version

Today, my fiancé told me, that after 7 years together, he is no longer in love with me. Shocked and appalled, I ask him if he has anything else to add. "Happy Birthday". FML

#608
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32207) - you deserved it (1804)

On 12/27/2008 at 5:26am - love - by Nalya - Sent from mobile version

Today, I used my Christmas holiday time to open up a load of old letters. There were a lot of bills, of course, but there was also a note telling me that I'm due for a tax inspection. Merry F*ing Christmas! FML

#607
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14607) - you deserved it (4696)

On 12/27/2008 at 3:23am - misc - by TodX - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML

#606
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36477) - you deserved it (21876)

On 12/26/2008 at 11:07pm - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I send a text message to my ex-boyfriend, who dumped me four months ago, telling him to come back. His answer: "feeling-wise I won't come back to you, but sexually, why not". FML

#602
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11348) - you deserved it (23312)

On 12/26/2008 at 2:53am - intimacy - by Laloose - Sent from mobile version

Today, I dressed in my sexiest clothes to meet my new boyfriend at a restaurant. As I was a bit early, I took the opportunity to smoke a cigarette outside while I waited. The restaurant owner came out and said, "Hey, you. Go and 'work' somewhere else, please." FML

#600
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23288) - you deserved it (16875)

On 12/26/2008 at 1:32am - misc - by Lola - Sent from mobile version

Today, at work as an optician, I gave a little girl a new pair of glasses and asked her if she could see well with them. She replied, "Oh yes, you have two big spots on your nose!" FML

#599
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17452) - you deserved it (2155)

On 12/25/2008 at 11:53pm - work - by jamjamy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was reading the end of my book. I turn the page and see, written at the top: "Lauren kills Paul in the end... You shouldn't have pissed me off." It was from my sister, we had a fight yesterday. FML

#594
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20036) - you deserved it (6141)

On 12/25/2008 at 7:57am - misc - by poupi - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sat in the train and the old lady sitting next to me stares at my face. I ask her if she is ok and she starts yelling "Willy! It's you! Where have you been all this time?". The entire train trip went like this. FML

#593
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20456) - you deserved it (1580)

On 12/25/2008 at 5:30am - misc - by LDF - Sent from mobile version

Today, feeling romantic and overwhelmed with love, I told my fiancée: "I don't know what I'd do without you." She replied: "Well, you'd wank". FML

#591
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25136) - you deserved it (5729)

On 12/25/2008 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Nicos - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sent a text message to a guy I like, saying, "Dear Santa, I want to fall in love." He replied: "Wait for next Christmas..." FML

#590
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19877) - you deserved it (9096)

On 12/24/2008 at 8:54pm - love - by Marou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML

#585
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41620) - you deserved it (7851)

On 12/24/2008 at 6:19am - intimacy - by sixsix - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was jerking off in the train washroom when the ticket inspector knocked at the door. I was nearly done so I didn't open right away. I didn't think he would have the key…I found myself face to face with him and three other passengers. The worst being I didn't have a ticket. FML

#583
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8366) - you deserved it (64973)

On 12/24/2008 at 3:40am - intimacy - by lip - Sent from mobile version



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