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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from France

Today, my mistress called my wife on the phone. FML

#524
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6785) - you deserved it (106326)

On 12/16/2008 at 12:20am - misc - by surfdown - Sent from mobile version

Today, I need to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone has left work, I decide that, since I AM a jedi, my penis ought to be my Light saber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: “At least someone is having fun!” It was my boss. FML

#523
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7656) - you deserved it (28713)

On 12/15/2008 at 10:58pm - work - by lopez - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told myself: "Go on you big geek, go outside, get some sun, get your ass away from in front of your PC, go for a walk". I finally muster the courage to leave my house. Without my keys. I've been in an internet cafe for four hours. FML

#519
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17643) - you deserved it (7592)

On 12/15/2008 at 2:11am - misc - by Dr_JF - Sent from mobile version

Today, I wanted to see if the frying pan was hot. I no longer have fingerprints. FML

#518
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6915) - you deserved it (48879)

On 12/15/2008 at 12:36am - misc - by bip - Sent from mobile version

Today, my Art Director once again turned down a demo model (for an advertisement) that I'd been working on for a week. This time he took his belt off and started thrashing the model to pieces. FML

#517
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23216) - you deserved it (1847)

On 12/14/2008 at 10:24pm - work - by Fuzy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I aimed at the little blue thing placed at the bottom of the urinal. I learned the hard way that it splashes off it and makes little blue stains on jumpers. FML

#511
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7075) - you deserved it (17294)

On 12/14/2008 at 6:31am - misc - by Guuu - Sent from mobile version

Today, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed my luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda." which earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML

#510
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6265) - you deserved it (56957)

On 12/14/2008 at 12:15am - misc - by Behemoth2 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML

#509
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10710) - you deserved it (59004)

On 12/13/2008 at 10:58pm - intimacy - by Mateo - Sent from mobile version

Today, a driver stole the parking space I was about to pull into. I politely asked him to move. He had a go at me, so I kick his car twice, in front of a few witnesses. The car is fine. I ripped two ligaments in my foot and I'll have a cast for a month. FML

#507
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6179) - you deserved it (32967)

On 12/13/2008 at 7:06am - misc - by Kikinovak - Sent from mobile version

Today, I help myself to a piece of a cake brought by guests at a birthday party. I don't like it much so I discreetly attempt to give it to the girl next to me. I ask her "Do you want some? It's sort of disgusting." She replies: "Thanks, I made it." FML

#506
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8444) - you deserved it (27661)

On 12/13/2008 at 1:54am - misc - by Nawel - Sent from mobile version

Today, my wife, in her magnificent wedding dress, had her period during the ceremony. How did I find out? The same way everyone else did. FML

#505
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44053) - you deserved it (2402)

On 12/13/2008 at 12:48am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, when I left the restaurant, the very handsome waiter whom I had been trying to tune all night says to me, in front of everyone "But why did you write your number on the table with hearts next to it? You know, I won't call you!" FML

#504
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21369) - you deserved it (6088)

On 12/12/2008 at 11:53pm - misc - by Peel - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to teach my dog not to be scared of the vacuum cleaner. I grab the handle and get it close to her. She runs off and hides behind the couch and pisses everywhere. FML

#502
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5825) - you deserved it (32131)

On 12/12/2008 at 7:08am - animals - by Slaanesh - Sent from mobile version



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