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FMLs submitted from France

Today, I dressed in my sexiest clothes to meet my new boyfriend at a restaurant. As I was a bit early, I took the opportunity to smoke a cigarette outside while I waited. The restaurant owner came out and said, "Hey, you. Go and 'work' somewhere else, please." FML

#600
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22208) - you deserved it (16322)

On 12/26/2008 at 1:32am - misc - by Lola - Sent from mobile version

Today, at work as an optician, I gave a little girl a new pair of glasses and asked her if she could see well with them. She replied, "Oh yes, you have two big spots on your nose!" FML

#599
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17339) - you deserved it (2142)

On 12/25/2008 at 11:53pm - work - by jamjamy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was reading the end of my book. I turn the page and see, written at the top: "Lauren kills Paul in the end... You shouldn't have pissed me off." It was from my sister, we had a fight yesterday. FML

#594
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19908) - you deserved it (6117)

On 12/25/2008 at 7:57am - misc - by poupi - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sat in the train and the old lady sitting next to me stares at my face. I ask her if she is ok and she starts yelling "Willy! It's you! Where have you been all this time?". The entire train trip went like this. FML

#593
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20348) - you deserved it (1573)

On 12/25/2008 at 5:30am - misc - by LDF - Sent from mobile version

Today, feeling romantic and overwhelmed with love, I told my fiancée: "I don't know what I'd do without you." She replied: "Well, you'd wank". FML

#591
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22715) - you deserved it (5408)

On 12/25/2008 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Nicos - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sent a text message to a guy I like, saying, "Dear Santa, I want to fall in love." He replied: "Wait for next Christmas..." FML

#590
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19743) - you deserved it (9074)

On 12/24/2008 at 8:54pm - love - by Marou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML

#585
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39347) - you deserved it (7456)

On 12/24/2008 at 6:19am - intimacy - by sixsix - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was jerking off in the train washroom when the ticket inspector knocked at the door. I was nearly done so I didn't open right away. I didn't think he would have the key…I found myself face to face with him and three other passengers. The worst being I didn't have a ticket. FML

#583
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8332) - you deserved it (64659)

On 12/24/2008 at 3:40am - intimacy - by lip - Sent from mobile version

Today, I phoned up my bank's customer service department. I waited eleven minutes on hold with the lovely music, and when a woman finally picked up, I ran out of phone credit. FML

#582
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19475) - you deserved it (2359)

On 12/24/2008 at 12:56am - money - by Colin - Sent from mobile version

Today, while I was looking for a file on my boyfriend's hard drive, I came across photos of a half-naked woman wearing my clothes, but whose head wasn't really visible. When I demanded an explanation, I realised that it wasn't another girl - it was him. FML

#581
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29357) - you deserved it (2854)

On 12/23/2008 at 11:11pm - love - by Lililaloose - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tested a new drug designed to fight headaches. It had quite an effect on me, more specifically side effects: nausea, dizzyness and diarrhea. FML

#579
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17705) - you deserved it (4238)

On 12/23/2008 at 3:57am - health - by blabla - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's my birthday. My ex just sent me a text. I read it, happy he had remembered. He wanted me to know he has a new girlfriend. FML

#578
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19987) - you deserved it (1837)

On 12/23/2008 at 2:43am - misc - by Plume - Sent from mobile version

Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he went up the stairs, "It stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the bin. We can eat sandwiches. FML

#577
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24983) - you deserved it (3078)

On 12/23/2008 at 1:47am - misc - by zazadudu - Sent from mobile version



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