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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from France

Today, my boss got a promotion and I got laid off. FML

#837
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20623) - you deserved it (1805)

On 01/01/2009 at 1:21pm - work - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, me and my sister hear a buzzing noise in our parent's bedroom. We go to investigate. It's coming from a drawer. We open it up. Battery operated dildo. FML

#770
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32346) - you deserved it (4645)

On 01/01/2009 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. On new years, my mom called and asked what kind of champagne I want. FML

#771
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23361) - you deserved it (3094)

On 01/01/2009 at 10:38am - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. I look him straight in the eye and ask him: "What's the first thing you think about when you look at me?". His answer: "Can I finish my steak?" FML

#656
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18630) - you deserved it (7220)

On 01/01/2009 at 7:09am - love - by Undefined - Sent from mobile version

Today, and for the last 8 months my upstairs neighbours have been making a tremendous noise. I finally decided to go up to complain: "The amount of noise you make is unbelievable ! It sounds like you're driving tractors up here!". The woman replies: "My husband is paraplegic..." FML

#654
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16821) - you deserved it (7861)

On 01/01/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by Jared - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend has big fake boobs, but gets offended when I tell her how much I like them. FML

#769
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37480) - you deserved it (5892)

On 01/01/2009 at 12:23am - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went onto my computer and found a cyber sex conversation between my sister and my girlfriend. FML

#768
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36099) - you deserved it (2817)

On 12/31/2008 at 10:49pm - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, my wife and I both have blond hair and blue eyes, we just had a red headed son. FML

#767
382 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37931) - you deserved it (8008)

On 12/31/2008 at 10:45pm - kids - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML

#766
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48859) - you deserved it (2491)

On 12/31/2008 at 6:41pm - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I crashed my car racing backwards and told my parents I was rear ended. They made me call the police and file a report. I hope there were no cameras. FML

#765
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4361) - you deserved it (39351)

On 12/31/2008 at 1:23pm - misc - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, the incredibly handsome, talented, hilarious, and intelligent man that I've fallen head over heels like no other for is gay. FML

#764
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25998) - you deserved it (3877)

On 12/31/2008 at 1:03pm - love - by Noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I attended a speed dating evening. After 7 minutes, the girl told me she wasn't interested. I asked her at what point of the conversation she had made up her mind, she answered: "When you said 'Hello'. Goodbye". FML

#639
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19036) - you deserved it (2070)

On 12/30/2008 at 10:48pm - misc - by Aintnosunshine - Sent from mobile version

Today, my first (and only true) date ended with the girl saying "Thanks for dinner, I was hungry - and oh, by the way, I'm a lesbian". FML

#763
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29033) - you deserved it (2105)

On 12/30/2008 at 10:21pm - love - by - Sent from mobile version



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