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FMLs submitted from France

Today, I was jerking off in the train washroom when the ticket inspector knocked at the door. I was nearly done so I didn't open right away. I didn't think he would have the key…I found myself face to face with him and three other passengers. The worst being I didn't have a ticket. FML

#583
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8279) - you deserved it (64282)

On 12/24/2008 at 3:40am - intimacy - by lip - Sent from mobile version

Today, I phoned up my bank's customer service department. I waited eleven minutes on hold with the lovely music, and when a woman finally picked up, I ran out of phone credit. FML

#582
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19291) - you deserved it (2350)

On 12/24/2008 at 12:56am - money - by Colin - Sent from mobile version

Today, while I was looking for a file on my boyfriend's hard drive, I came across photos of a half-naked woman wearing my clothes, but whose head wasn't really visible. When I demanded an explanation, I realised that it wasn't another girl - it was him. FML

#581
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29163) - you deserved it (2844)

On 12/23/2008 at 11:11pm - love - by Lililaloose - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tested a new drug designed to fight headaches. It had quite an effect on me, more specifically side effects: nausea, dizzyness and diarrhea. FML

#579
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16952) - you deserved it (4160)

On 12/23/2008 at 3:57am - health - by blabla - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's my birthday. My ex just sent me a text. I read it, happy he had remembered. He wanted me to know he has a new girlfriend. FML

#578
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18679) - you deserved it (1724)

On 12/23/2008 at 2:43am - misc - by Plume - Sent from mobile version

Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he went up the stairs, "It stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the bin. We can eat sandwiches. FML

#577
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23835) - you deserved it (2968)

On 12/23/2008 at 1:47am - misc - by zazadudu - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss asked me "can I give you some constructive criticism?". I said yes. He tells me "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML

#576
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24705) - you deserved it (3031)

On 12/22/2008 at 11:18pm - work - by crapules - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decide to go to my ex-girlfriend's house to bring her stuff back. I broke up with her earlier this week after a 2 year relationship, and I'd hoped she would have realized her mistake and ask me to stay for a bit and talk. I ring the doorbell and her new boyfriend opens the door. FML

#572
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20044) - you deserved it (8914)

On 12/22/2008 at 6:54am - love - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answer: 'Well, you don't kiss me often either!". So now she keeps kissing me. FML

#570
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8385) - you deserved it (37884)

On 12/22/2008 at 2:45am - love - by Julian - Sent from mobile version

Today, someone stole both rear view mirrors from my scooter. And where was the police? They were 500m down the road, waiting to stop me for not having any mirrors. FML

#569
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26606) - you deserved it (1726)

On 12/22/2008 at 12:43am - money - by daddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm 65 years old, and I've been given a bottle of wine produced in the year I was born. The wine tastes foul; not a good omen. FML

#563
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19323) - you deserved it (2349)

On 12/21/2008 at 7:14am - misc - by Phil - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend told me that she woke up after yesterday’s party with someone else’s trousers. FML

#562
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20387) - you deserved it (1836)

On 12/21/2008 at 4:40am - love - by Yudor - Sent from mobile version

Today, I played a table tennis final in public. After winning, I went to shake my opponent's hand. He doesn't react or move. It was only the first set. FML

#560
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14000) - you deserved it (9679)

On 12/21/2008 at 2:00am - misc - by Bito - Sent from mobile version



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