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FMLs submitted from France

Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML

#703
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7290) - you deserved it (27384)

On 01/04/2009 at 10:33pm - love - by titou - Sent from mobile version

Today, on her Facebook profile, my ex erased all the pictures where we were together, add her new boyfriend to her friends and changed her status to "I'm so happy". FML

#846
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19626) - you deserved it (5420)

On 01/04/2009 at 4:43pm - love - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm 20 years old and never been kissed. FML

#845
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30934) - you deserved it (6255)

On 01/04/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, at a rehearsal, a friend poked me: "My mother is in the orchestra, guess who she is!" I jokingly answer: "Erm…The fat singer?". It was. FML

#699
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7745) - you deserved it (21145)

On 01/04/2009 at 5:15am - misc - by LadyJane - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went shopping with a friend. She went to try some clothes on and came out to ask for my opinion. "Hell no! That shirt is awful!". She wanted to show me the pants. The shirt was hers. FML

#698
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9547) - you deserved it (19436)

On 01/04/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I withdrew $120 from the ATM at the hotel I'm staying at, only to have no money come out. When I talked to the concierge, who witnessed the whole thing, she said it had been happening all day and that the machine was broken. My bank says it's the hotel's problem, and the hotel says it's the bank's problem. Either way, I'm out $120. FML

#844
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27042) - you deserved it (1601)

On 01/04/2009 at 12:24am - money - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got unbelievably drunk and pissed in the corner of my room, all over a plug socket, which blew out the electrics. FML

#843
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4335) - you deserved it (36557)

On 01/04/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year old son. He wriggled away and said: "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or find another Simon!" FML

#697
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26744) - you deserved it (3055)

On 01/03/2009 at 10:55pm - kids - by sly - Sent from mobile version

Today, to amuse my girlfriend I put on her sexy nightshirt and go out on the balcony for a smoke, wriggling about in front of her window. She laughs until one of her neighbors shouts "HELLO!" from the upper floor, grinning at the show. FML

#696
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13285) - you deserved it (8878)

On 01/03/2009 at 8:59pm - misc - by gabess - Sent from mobile version

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

#842
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41297) - you deserved it (3688)

On 01/03/2009 at 11:48am - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML

#689
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19450) - you deserved it (7002)

On 01/03/2009 at 3:38am - misc - by sm@rtie - Sent from mobile version

Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

#687
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26043) - you deserved it (2017)

On 01/02/2009 at 10:26pm - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother bought me some « biodegradable » tissues. Indeed, they melted… in my hand. FML

#686
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16125) - you deserved it (1844)

On 01/02/2009 at 9:12pm - misc - by mc - Sent from mobile version



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