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FMLs submitted from France

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years decided to start an online blog about his life. He mentioned his cars, his friends and even his staff. I was never mentioned. FML

#5840285
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28232) - you deserved it (4742)

On 10/15/2009 at 7:11am - love - by Forgotten One - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend accidentally called me from his pocket. I thought it would be funny to see what him and his friends were talking about. I laughed when I heard him talking about us fooling around until I realized it wasn't me. FML

#5839151
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36226) - you deserved it (3406)

On 10/15/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Em - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML

#5822673
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25029) - you deserved it (13345)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to my hairdresser who promised me a haircut which "all the girls would want you" for. She gave me a combover. FML

#5819831
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25470) - you deserved it (3475)

On 10/13/2009 at 9:25pm - misc - by Chensticles - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML

#5760830
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11853) - you deserved it (59239)

On 10/10/2009 at 4:45pm - misc - by loser - Sent from mobile version

Today, I ordered a chicken sandwich. I was starving and it was the fastest thing to order. Half way through it, I found something which does not belong, and removed it. It was half a cockroach, and I don't know where the other half is. FML

#5643863
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47284) - you deserved it (3425)

On 10/04/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by Foufinator - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was woken up from a nap by my cat attacking my face. Evidently, my husband thought it would be funny to shine a laser pointer on my cheek. FML

#5608454
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34928) - you deserved it (3180)

On 10/02/2009 at 6:23pm - love - by Zamaria - Sent from mobile version

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

#5550225
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69843) - you deserved it (5117)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML

#5522380
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9857) - you deserved it (31247)

On 09/28/2009 at 3:12am - intimacy - by Oops54321 (man) - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. When we got there, I hugged his mother, and she glared at me. Later that day, I heard her telling her son that he should leave me because I smell like cigarettes, and she hates smokers. I don't smoke, my boyfriend does. He did all the way there. FML

#5443541
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41246) - you deserved it (2743)

On 09/24/2009 at 4:05am - love - by Sir Smokalot - Sent from mobile version

Today, I learned that "Je suis excité" does not mean "I'm excited" in French. It means "I'm sexually excited"... more or less. I've been doing a lot of exciting things and using it a lot the past two weeks. With my French friends, people I meet, and especially with my host family. FML

#5391347
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35876) - you deserved it (13824)

On 09/21/2009 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I found out that my whole family thinks my girlfriend is imaginary. I sent her a text in front of them telling her that. She never responded. FML

#5386120
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46802) - you deserved it (5666)

On 09/21/2009 at 12:16am - love - by Imaginary girlfriend - Sent from mobile version

Today, I wasn't feeling too good, and took my temperature. I had a fever, which I told my boyfriend who was laughing hysterically when I told him. I asked him what was so funny, turns out he's been using the thermometer to take our dog's temperature sometimes. Rectally, of course. FML

#5332273
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41647) - you deserved it (5383)

On 09/18/2009 at 1:48pm - health - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version



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