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FMLs submitted from France

Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after last night's party, which involved lots of booze and spicy Indian food. I wake up and notice a small boy staring at me, so I smiled at him. He turned to his father and said, "Daddy, the farting man has just woken up." FML

#947
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19846) - you deserved it (7941)

On 01/10/2009 at 9:11pm - kids - by mark - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got my stuff together before leaving to take the bus: cigarettes, newspaper, mobile phone and the trash. I took me at least 5 minutes in the bus to realize that I was travelling with the trash on my knees. FML

#931
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13607) - you deserved it (5862)

On 01/10/2009 at 9:41am - misc - by titov - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was so bored that I filmed my goldfish while it was eating. FML

#923
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19252) - you deserved it (5232)

On 01/10/2009 at 3:21am - animals - by Crystal - Sent from mobile version

Today, I made some popcorn. Returning to the kitchen a couple of minutes later, I realized I was supposed to put a cover on the saucepan. FML

#921
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5167) - you deserved it (20844)

On 01/10/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by csully - Sent from mobile version

Today, I came home from work. I crept up to the bedroom to gently wake up my girlfriend. I touch her shoulder and slowly leant in to give her a tender kiss. She suddenly wakes up and grabs me by the throat... I keep forgetting she's in the army. FML

#919
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27080) - you deserved it (7978)

On 01/09/2009 at 10:23pm - love - by Cùchulainn - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was teaching a class but kids were chatting. After 3 soap box speeches about "The next person who talks gets a note to take home," one kid looked right at me and went "meow". FML

#891
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20821) - you deserved it (6527)

On 01/09/2009 at 3:54am - kids - by Liz - Sent from mobile version

Today, like every month, the beautician spent 10 minutes removing the hairs from my stomach. I'm a girl. FML

#887
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19026) - you deserved it (2149)

On 01/09/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by Noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss told me that we are having a big meeting tomorrow, with lots of important people. Before leaving the room he added "Please, tomorrow, try to dress better." FML

#884
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15398) - you deserved it (5241)

On 01/08/2009 at 10:38pm - work - by Nalya - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was talking to a charming young lady on MSN by webcam. She suddenly asked me to take my glasses off for a minute; I did so, and she said, "Oh never mind, you're still just as ugly..." FML

#814
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20011) - you deserved it (2020)

On 01/08/2009 at 2:55am - misc - by neoteck - Sent from mobile version

Today, I received a really nice red satin set of underwear, with a bra, a thong and a corset... From my grandfather. FML

#725
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27127) - you deserved it (1811)

On 01/07/2009 at 6:43am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's been 2 weeks since I lost my virginity and I've already had sex with 3 guys. I think I'm a nympho. FML

#723
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10722) - you deserved it (72792)

On 01/07/2009 at 3:16am - intimacy - by sexaddict - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went into a shop, not really completely awake. To get to the upper floor, I took the escalator... in the wrong direction. After about 30 seconds (which seemed like hours) trying to climb up the wrong way, my brain started working and by that time I already had a few amused spectators watching me. FML

#722
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14661) - you deserved it (7919)

On 01/07/2009 at 12:53am - misc - by maaaryy - Sent from mobile version

Today, my wife and I went to a wedding. At one in the morning, when the cheese was being served, we were starting to fall asleep at the table, so we went to our car to take a short nap. When we woke up it was 5am, and the party was over. FML

#721
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7068) - you deserved it (28935)

On 01/06/2009 at 10:58pm - misc - by takeiteasy - Sent from mobile version



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