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FMLs submitted from France

Today, a girl was coming on to me throughout an entire concert, giving me drinks. At the end of the evening, she gave me her MSN address so that we could do other things together. Thanks to all the drinks I'd had, I forgot her address. FML

#2030
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6069) - you deserved it (22602)

On 01/21/2009 at 9:23am - love - by Trash - Sent from mobile version

Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML

#1986
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5200) - you deserved it (39859)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:03am - work - by Wititipwitpwit - Sent from mobile version

Today, I get home and there's a package waiting for me. I ordered something online 2 weeks ago for a girl I like. She's not available anymore. No refunds. FML

#1976
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16777) - you deserved it (4674)

On 01/21/2009 at 1:59am - love - by Dudeman5000 - Sent from mobile version

Today, me and my family watched the video of my birth. In the video, when my mother sees me for the first time, she says "God he's ugly!" FML

#1975
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27652) - you deserved it (1993)

On 01/21/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by mat - Sent from mobile version

Today, I've been dating a girl for a year and she's only touched my penis twice. Once by accident. FML

#1883
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23059) - you deserved it (10382)

On 01/20/2009 at 11:52am - love - by jobless - Sent from mobile version

Today, I called up my ex girlfriend to ask her if I could come round hers to get my pyjamas back. She replied: “I’m keeping them just in case...”- “In case of what?”- “In case I want to dress up like an asshole”. FML

#1859
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8338) - you deserved it (23579)

On 01/20/2009 at 9:01am - love - by dude - Sent from mobile version

Today, the phone rang. I run to get the call, I trip, fall on a metal chair. Tears in my eyes and out of breath I pick up... "Hi, do you have a minute to answer a few questions? It's for a survey." FML

#1820
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17173) - you deserved it (3594)

On 01/20/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by Kika - Sent from mobile version

Today, in the forest, I hit my foot against a half-buried metal thing. I dug into the ground, and found a beautiful box, heavy enough to not be empty. I imagined myself with gold coins. Inside was the corpse of a cat. FML

#1817
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24707) - you deserved it (5646)

On 01/20/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by mainche - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that Paolo has a big penis, that he's good in bed and that the hotel sheets still remember it all. Mum, the walls won't get any thicker just 'cause you're on the telephone. FML

#1813
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22183) - you deserved it (1650)

On 01/20/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to an underwear shop, and an employee recommended me a push-up bra. I was wearing one. FML

#1427
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20922) - you deserved it (1985)

On 01/17/2009 at 6:31am - misc - by Pakundo - Sent from mobile version

Today, the only girl I really loved said to me: I want you to be the father of my child, but I don't want to be your girlfriend. FML

#1230
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25358) - you deserved it (1655)

On 01/15/2009 at 11:12am - love - by J.Smith - Sent from mobile version

Today, wanting to change from the usual pizza/coca cola menu, I decide to cook. After spending 1h30 making a "beef chili with ancho, mole, and cumin" I sprinkle a bit of salt on top of it. The top came off the salt. I think it's back to pizzas for me. FML

#1229
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18643) - you deserved it (3091)

On 01/15/2009 at 11:00am - health - by j0j0 - France (Aquitaine)

Today, my husband called me “my little zebra”. I gave birth a month ago, and I’ve kept a few stretch marks. FML

#1058
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24257) - you deserved it (2102)

On 01/14/2009 at 1:33am - love - by noname - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)



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