Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from France

Today, in front of a bunch of people on my college campus, my mom grabbed my hand and lead me across the street. I'm 20. FML

#5912690
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33358) - you deserved it (4329)

On 10/20/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by Watchyourstep - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went on a date with an awesome guy. I got super hammered and punched him in the face. FML

#5894935
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8464) - you deserved it (58498)

On 10/19/2009 at 11:42am - love - by DrunkGirl - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was texting my boyfriend, making plans to see him tomorrow. He ended the conversation by saying "I'm changing my sheets tomorrow, so take a shower." FML

#5892198
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20580) - you deserved it (5891)

On 10/19/2009 at 3:26am - intimacy - by Shower? - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML

#5885863
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24630) - you deserved it (6387)

On 10/18/2009 at 9:11pm - animals - by Mary - Sent from mobile version

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

#5868589
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45024) - you deserved it (4749)

On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in a hurry to get to work and I put on yesterday's jeans. While at my meeting an employee asked me if 'that' was mine and pointed to something on the floor next to me. Which was yesterday's underwear. FML

#5850843
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11751) - you deserved it (26972)

On 10/16/2009 at 12:30pm - misc - by Sbfreak510 - Sent from mobile version

Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said "Have fun!" FML

#5846674
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29806) - you deserved it (3322)

On 10/15/2009 at 9:59pm - health - by Rob - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years decided to start an online blog about his life. He mentioned his cars, his friends and even his staff. I was never mentioned. FML

#5840285
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27339) - you deserved it (4631)

On 10/15/2009 at 7:11am - love - by Forgotten One - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend accidentally called me from his pocket. I thought it would be funny to see what him and his friends were talking about. I laughed when I heard him talking about us fooling around until I realized it wasn't me. FML

#5839151
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35306) - you deserved it (3338)

On 10/15/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Em - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML

#5822673
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23963) - you deserved it (12977)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to my hairdresser who promised me a haircut which "all the girls would want you" for. She gave me a combover. FML

#5819831
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24179) - you deserved it (3329)

On 10/13/2009 at 9:25pm - misc - by Chensticles - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML

#5760830
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11482) - you deserved it (58332)

On 10/10/2009 at 4:45pm - misc - by loser - Sent from mobile version

Today, I ordered a chicken sandwich. I was starving and it was the fastest thing to order. Half way through it, I found something which does not belong, and removed it. It was half a cockroach, and I don't know where the other half is. FML

#5643863
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44380) - you deserved it (3181)

On 10/04/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by Foufinator - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: