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FMLs submitted from France

Today, I brought some cupcakes to my class for my birthday, like all the cool kids do. When it came time to sing happy birthday, the entire class said "happy birthday to" then forgot my name. Except my teacher. She said Steve. My name's Jeff. FML

#2150029
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69277) - you deserved it (6178)

On 05/21/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by theman (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML

#1584585
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17918) - you deserved it (1903)

On 05/03/2009 at 3:15am - kids - by bodhimae - Sent from mobile version

Today, the really hot guy that works in the same building as me came to work after being away for the past two days. I said "Look who finally decided to come to work." His response: "I had a death in the family, thanks." FML

#283908
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6030) - you deserved it (20976)

On 03/12/2009 at 2:57pm - work - by ... - Sent from mobile version

Today, I asked a co-worker out for a drink. She said yes, then my older brother who was visiting decided to come behind me and pull down my pants in front of the office. Then she said no. FML

#86812
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43440) - you deserved it (2809)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:12am - love - by robotzzz (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, it was good fun getting this nice vampire make-up at my drama lesson. It would have been better if I hadn't forgotten my demake-up. Even better if I could have avoided those crazy glances in the bus home. FML

#4648
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6120) - you deserved it (17382)

On 02/01/2009 at 10:52am - misc - by anaph0re - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had sex with a guy. As he was sleeping next to me, I checked his facebook messages and saw that he sent a message to one of his buddies asking what kind of lotion helps get rid of crabs. FML

#4051
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17862) - you deserved it (59793)

On 01/31/2009 at 10:04am - intimacy - by DDD - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had dinner on my own. My cat came and sat on the chair on the other side of the table. We stared at each other during the whole meal. Pathetic. FML

#4050
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29836) - you deserved it (4247)

On 01/31/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by JulleandCici - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML

#2620
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6644) - you deserved it (51417)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by Timmy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went shopping with my boyfriend. He tried on a pair of trousers which didn't fit, so he asked me to change them, so off I go. I then return with another pair for him to try on, and find him bent over and blurt out "What the hell's that terrible underwear?". The man turns around, revealing that I'd entered the wrong changing room. FML

#2607
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15303) - you deserved it (7945)

On 01/26/2009 at 5:09am - love - by Harmonia - Sent from mobile version

Today, a ball rolled up to me, so I picked it up and threw it over the school wall. A little boy who was behind me asked for his ball back. It's Sunday and the school is closed. FML

#2505
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7246) - you deserved it (30618)

On 01/25/2009 at 7:36am - misc - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, my 19 year old girlfriend dumped me because she thinks I'm immature. I'm 30. FML

#2154
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8387) - you deserved it (56862)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:06am - love - by Benji - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm looking for a job, and the employer I spoke to by phone was busy, but before hanging up he said "we will call you soon". I still wonder how he plans to do so without even having asked for my number. FML

#2053
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17915) - you deserved it (2106)

On 01/21/2009 at 12:03pm - love - by maddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, a girl was coming on to me throughout an entire concert, giving me drinks. At the end of the evening, she gave me her MSN address so that we could do other things together. Thanks to all the drinks I'd had, I forgot her address. FML

#2030
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6097) - you deserved it (22690)

On 01/21/2009 at 9:23am - love - by Trash - Sent from mobile version



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