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FMLs submitted from France

Today, I was in a hurry to get to work and I put on yesterday's jeans. While at my meeting an employee asked me if 'that' was mine and pointed to something on the floor next to me. Which was yesterday's underwear. FML

#5850843
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11738) - you deserved it (26939)

On 10/16/2009 at 12:30pm - misc - by Sbfreak510 - Sent from mobile version

Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said "Have fun!" FML

#5846674
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27078) - you deserved it (3088)

On 10/15/2009 at 9:59pm - health - by Rob - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years decided to start an online blog about his life. He mentioned his cars, his friends and even his staff. I was never mentioned. FML

#5840285
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26665) - you deserved it (4544)

On 10/15/2009 at 7:11am - love - by Forgotten One - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend accidentally called me from his pocket. I thought it would be funny to see what him and his friends were talking about. I laughed when I heard him talking about us fooling around until I realized it wasn't me. FML

#5839151
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34162) - you deserved it (3249)

On 10/15/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Em - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML

#5822673
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23928) - you deserved it (12968)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to my hairdresser who promised me a haircut which "all the girls would want you" for. She gave me a combover. FML

#5819831
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24134) - you deserved it (3324)

On 10/13/2009 at 9:25pm - misc - by Chensticles - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML

#5760830
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10507) - you deserved it (55889)

On 10/10/2009 at 4:45pm - misc - by loser - Sent from mobile version

Today, I ordered a chicken sandwich. I was starving and it was the fastest thing to order. Half way through it, I found something which does not belong, and removed it. It was half a cockroach, and I don't know where the other half is. FML

#5643863
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44329) - you deserved it (3178)

On 10/04/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by Foufinator - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was woken up from a nap by my cat attacking my face. Evidently, my husband thought it would be funny to shine a laser pointer on my cheek. FML

#5608454
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32429) - you deserved it (2958)

On 10/02/2009 at 6:23pm - love - by Zamaria - Sent from mobile version

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

#5550225
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68051) - you deserved it (4963)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML

#5522380
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8343) - you deserved it (27379)

On 09/28/2009 at 3:12am - intimacy - by Oops54321 (man) - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. When we got there, I hugged his mother, and she glared at me. Later that day, I heard her telling her son that he should leave me because I smell like cigarettes, and she hates smokers. I don't smoke, my boyfriend does. He did all the way there. FML

#5443541
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38753) - you deserved it (2556)

On 09/24/2009 at 4:05am - love - by Sir Smokalot - Sent from mobile version

Today, I learned that "Je suis excité" does not mean "I'm excited" in French. It means "I'm sexually excited"... more or less. I've been doing a lot of exciting things and using it a lot the past two weeks. With my French friends, people I meet, and especially with my host family. FML

#5391347
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33226) - you deserved it (13122)

On 09/21/2009 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)



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