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FMLs submitted from France

Today, I was taking a dump at the Home Depot. After I was finished, I was bent over and pulling the toilet paper out of the holder. I pulled too hard, causing the dispenser lid to fling open and smack me on the back of the head. FML

#7150091
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7966) - you deserved it (20378)

On 01/04/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by B-ran - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was supposed to go to Disneyland with my family, but I woke up with explosive diarrhea. So while they are at the happiest place on Earth, I'm stuck on this toilet left to imagine that the splash from my crap is a splash from splash mountain. FML

#7148108
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32897) - you deserved it (3159)

On 01/04/2010 at 5:20pm - health - by onthetoilet - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up with bruised nipples because apparently my boyfriend likes to excessively play with them while I sleep. FML

#7142367
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22806) - you deserved it (3665)

On 01/04/2010 at 6:30am - intimacy - by sore - Sent from mobile version

Today, I backed into our new garage door. The same new garage door that we purchased because I broke our old one by backing into it. FML

#7137306
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7085) - you deserved it (42278)

On 01/04/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by Lil_bit - France

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. She decided that her "gift to herself" would be to leave the loser who has been holding her back for two years. Hello, my name is Ben, and I am that loser. FML

#7133599
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31867) - you deserved it (4909)

On 01/03/2010 at 9:38pm - love - by birthday bash - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got l disconnect notices for both my water and my electric. After looking over my budget, I realized that I can only pay for one until next month. FML

#7106186
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25326) - you deserved it (7071)

On 01/02/2010 at 3:27pm - money - by troubled - Sent from mobile version

Today, while at work I went to use the public restroom because I had a severe case of diarrhea. All went well until the timed sensor lights went off and I couldn't leave my stall to get them back on. I sat there for thirty minutes in pure darkness. FML

#7105226
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25920) - you deserved it (3736)

On 01/02/2010 at 2:24pm - work - by Bathroom Problems - France

Today, I was trying to be dirty with my fiancé. He got really into the roleplaying and wouldn't stop pretending to be a cop for hours. Mood officially killed. FML

#7103612
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18721) - you deserved it (4106)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by uhhggggg - Sent from mobile version

Today, I emptied out a bottle of water onto my porch as I was going into my house. Only a couple of hours later, I decided to leave and slipped on what had turned into ice, bruised my tailbone and sprained my wrist. FML

#7097742
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8250) - you deserved it (34308)

On 01/02/2010 at 2:08am - health - by couturier - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML

#7083274
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34236) - you deserved it (2522)

On 01/01/2010 at 2:14pm - misc - by johnny121 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML

#7070203
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10455) - you deserved it (30639)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by meeranda - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to have a midnight snack. I figured I knew my own house well enough to leave the lights off so my mom wouldn't wake up. Chuckling at the brilliance of my plan, I walked straight into a doorframe and bust up my nose. FML

#7031630
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8374) - you deserved it (29080)

On 12/30/2009 at 6:30am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I bought a $3000 HD camera. It never shipped to my house, so I was concerned. I then realized I had given the seller the address for a house in California. I live in Maine. FML

#7013020
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8383) - you deserved it (42409)

On 12/29/2009 at 11:56am - misc - by musicgod123 - Sent from mobile version



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