Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from France

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21839) - you deserved it (53416)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had my first date with this guy I really like, who came to pick me up. Once I got into his car, my uncle comes out of the house and yells "Remember, pregnant girls aren't allowed to drink." FML

#3978277
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41960) - you deserved it (7270)

On 07/23/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by Prego my ego - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got back to work from a 3 week vacation. My boss had asked me to get him something so when I returned I presented him with a shotglass with the British flag on it. I later found out that he is a recovering alcoholic. FML

#3826927
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37201) - you deserved it (6696)

On 07/17/2009 at 8:07am - work - by mrmatt008 (man) - France

Today, my boss walked in my office to see me busy making a little Post-it dress for my pen. FML

#3610078
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11620) - you deserved it (51440)

On 07/09/2009 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I went to the beach on the cote d'azur and the lifeguard told me that even though there were two jellyfish in the bay, it was safe to swim. Five minutes into swimming, I got stung twice. FML

#3476155
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34787) - you deserved it (6245)

On 07/04/2009 at 8:10am - health - by michellekel (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to take a leak, so I went into a porta-john. I noticed another man's hand under the door with a cell phone. Angered, I aimed my stream at his hand and phone. He tilted the porta-john over in response. It was full. FML

#3414555
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44564) - you deserved it (20779)

On 07/02/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by S4L - Sent from mobile version

Today, I finally hooked up with the boy of my dreams at a party. Later, while on aim, I noticed one of his friends away messages was a quote from the guy's screen name, which said "I can't believe what I stick my d... In sometimes." FML

#3383577
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41255) - you deserved it (11212)

On 07/01/2009 at 12:41am - love - by Bulldogs09 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was shopping for rings with my fiancée. We spent over 2 hours selecting the perfect ring and diamond to match. When filling out the paperwork I discovered I left my wallet at home. She had to pay the 20% down payment for the ring. FML

#3369756
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14184) - you deserved it (46949)

On 06/30/2009 at 3:55pm - love - by BrokeInLove - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got my hair done, eyebrows waxed, and a new expensive dress to impress my boyfriend. When I got home I asked him if he noticed anything different about me. He looked at me for one minute before asking, "Did you finally start using Proactive?" FML

#3285279
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41413) - you deserved it (5166)

On 06/27/2009 at 8:55pm - love - by Acneface - Sent from mobile version

Today, my wife asked me to pop an ingrown hair near her crotch. We haven't had sex since last September. Popping her ingrown hair was the closest I've gotten to my wife's vagina in nearly nine months. FML

#3190821
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66304) - you deserved it (5538)

On 06/24/2009 at 11:05pm - intimacy - by GettingNone - Sent from mobile version

Today, at work I got told off by my manager for texting while working. Enraged by this, I trash talked her to the new girl at work. The new girl, a.k.a. my manager's daughter. FML

#3137234
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8156) - you deserved it (60699)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:04am - work - by Don't text and work (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I gave a beautiful book of baby names to a friend of mine who's been trying to get pregnant for a while. She just burst into tears when she saw it. Just before meeting me, she'd found out she was sterile. FML

#2962771
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51041) - you deserved it (6432)

On 06/17/2009 at 8:27am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: