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FMLs submitted from France

Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML

#6722392
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42832) - you deserved it (3681)

On 12/12/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by RBEE (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I misplaced my wallet. Fortunately, I knew exactly where it was. Unfortunately, I had just taken out the only form of picture ID that morning. I couldn't stop the finders from laughing as they saw my fake celebrity entertainment ID while I tried to convince them it was actually my wallet. FML

#6377589
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7758) - you deserved it (15304)

On 11/20/2009 at 4:36am - misc - by starstruck (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me so she could "let her life flow in the direction she wants." Apparently that includes smoking, stealing and making out with other girls at parties. The best part? She wants to get back together "after she matures and gets it out of her system." FML

#6377568
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27886) - you deserved it (2778)

On 11/20/2009 at 4:30am - love - by ApparentlyIFail (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, in a big meeting, my secretary calls me saying that I have an important call waiting. I put the call through. It was my beautician, confirming my appointment to get rid of an ingrown hair. I hurriedly confirm and hang up to see everyone in the room giggling. The speaker phone was on. FML

#6300259
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21723) - you deserved it (6484)

On 11/14/2009 at 12:31pm - misc - by SpeakerPhone (woman) - France (Alsace)

Today, for my birthday, my friends and family gave me: A Wii Fit, a free year at the gym and a book of diet recipes. They didn't consult with each other. I've asked for "something corresponding to me". FML

#6256305
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24116) - you deserved it (14095)

On 11/11/2009 at 11:03am - health - by Timetoloseweight (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dad called me for the first time in weeks. All he wanted to tell me was that Ashlee Simpson got fired from Melrose Place. Then he hung up. FML

#6098461
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27468) - you deserved it (2179)

On 11/01/2009 at 8:37am - love - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I bought fifteen bags of candy for the trick-or-treaters. I sat outside with a bowl of candy the whole night. Only one person came. FML

#6088334
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33263) - you deserved it (6715)

On 10/31/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by trick or not treat - Sent from mobile version

Today, after telling my best friend an idiot could make Kraft Dinner, I spilled boiling water all over my hands and forearms while attempting to strain the noodles. FML

#6086492
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6649) - you deserved it (31696)

On 10/31/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by Lexi - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was using the only stall left in a public restroom; a handicap stall. As I sat down to do my business, I felt something warm dripping down my leg. I looked down to see me urinating on myself through the raised seat. FML

#6075541
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8379) - you deserved it (27340)

On 10/30/2009 at 9:36pm - misc - by JynxQueen - Sent from mobile version

Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML

#6002557
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10311) - you deserved it (39440)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by munchkin - Sent from mobile version

Today, my daughter threw a can of hairspray into the fireplace because she saw someone do it on YouTube. FML

#5987362
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39844) - you deserved it (4664)

On 10/25/2009 at 5:06am - kids - by oh dear - Sent from mobile version

Today, I received a three-time forwarded message which I thought would turn out to be a random chain message. Turns out my boyfriend didn't want to send me the "break-up text" himself and figured it would get to me eventually after sending it to all my best friends. FML

#5984352
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34192) - you deserved it (2257)

On 10/25/2009 at 12:36am - love - by Kalaina - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out my mom is the nude model for an art class at my college. FML

#5942211
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53020) - you deserved it (2845)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:30am - misc - by scarred - Sent from mobile version



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