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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from France

Today, after telling my best friend an idiot could make Kraft Dinner, I spilled boiling water all over my hands and forearms while attempting to strain the noodles. FML

#6086492
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6635) - you deserved it (31650)

On 10/31/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by Lexi - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was using the only stall left in a public restroom; a handicap stall. As I sat down to do my business, I felt something warm dripping down my leg. I looked down to see me urinating on myself through the raised seat. FML

#6075541
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8184) - you deserved it (26813)

On 10/30/2009 at 9:36pm - misc - by JynxQueen - Sent from mobile version

Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML

#6002557
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9971) - you deserved it (38647)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by munchkin - Sent from mobile version

Today, my daughter threw a can of hairspray into the fireplace because she saw someone do it on YouTube. FML

#5987362
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39787) - you deserved it (4661)

On 10/25/2009 at 5:06am - kids - by oh dear - Sent from mobile version

Today, I received a three-time forwarded message which I thought would turn out to be a random chain message. Turns out my boyfriend didn't want to send me the "break-up text" himself and figured it would get to me eventually after sending it to all my best friends. FML

#5984352
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32220) - you deserved it (2100)

On 10/25/2009 at 12:36am - love - by Kalaina - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out my mom is the nude model for an art class at my college. FML

#5942211
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52970) - you deserved it (2843)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:30am - misc - by scarred - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that I lie to my friends online and go "offline" for hours at a time so it appears that I have a life outside of the internet. FML

#5942193
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12019) - you deserved it (31533)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:26am - misc - by Kimberly - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in bed, thinking about my crush and playing with myself, when I remembered the complicated spreadsheet my boss asked me to make tomorrow. That got me more excited than the thought of my crush. FML

#5932457
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16290) - you deserved it (6486)

On 10/21/2009 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, in front of a bunch of people on my college campus, my mom grabbed my hand and lead me across the street. I'm 20. FML

#5912690
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33223) - you deserved it (4314)

On 10/20/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by Watchyourstep - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went on a date with an awesome guy. I got super hammered and punched him in the face. FML

#5894935
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8283) - you deserved it (57866)

On 10/19/2009 at 11:42am - love - by DrunkGirl - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was texting my boyfriend, making plans to see him tomorrow. He ended the conversation by saying "I'm changing my sheets tomorrow, so take a shower." FML

#5892198
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19075) - you deserved it (5612)

On 10/19/2009 at 3:26am - intimacy - by Shower? - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML

#5885863
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24515) - you deserved it (6374)

On 10/18/2009 at 9:11pm - animals - by Mary - Sent from mobile version

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

#5868589
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42163) - you deserved it (4458)

On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version



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