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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from France

Today, I received a three-time forwarded message which I thought would turn out to be a random chain message. Turns out my boyfriend didn't want to send me the "break-up text" himself and figured it would get to me eventually after sending it to all my best friends. FML

#5984352
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32190) - you deserved it (2098)

On 10/25/2009 at 12:36am - love - by Kalaina - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out my mom is the nude model for an art class at my college. FML

#5942211
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52946) - you deserved it (2842)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:30am - misc - by scarred - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that I lie to my friends online and go "offline" for hours at a time so it appears that I have a life outside of the internet. FML

#5942193
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12014) - you deserved it (31520)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:26am - misc - by Kimberly - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in bed, thinking about my crush and playing with myself, when I remembered the complicated spreadsheet my boss asked me to make tomorrow. That got me more excited than the thought of my crush. FML

#5932457
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15011) - you deserved it (6259)

On 10/21/2009 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, in front of a bunch of people on my college campus, my mom grabbed my hand and lead me across the street. I'm 20. FML

#5912690
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33192) - you deserved it (4311)

On 10/20/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by Watchyourstep - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went on a date with an awesome guy. I got super hammered and punched him in the face. FML

#5894935
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7683) - you deserved it (55748)

On 10/19/2009 at 11:42am - love - by DrunkGirl - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was texting my boyfriend, making plans to see him tomorrow. He ended the conversation by saying "I'm changing my sheets tomorrow, so take a shower." FML

#5892198
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19047) - you deserved it (5609)

On 10/19/2009 at 3:26am - intimacy - by Shower? - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML

#5885863
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24497) - you deserved it (6373)

On 10/18/2009 at 9:11pm - animals - by Mary - Sent from mobile version

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

#5868589
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42125) - you deserved it (4454)

On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in a hurry to get to work and I put on yesterday's jeans. While at my meeting an employee asked me if 'that' was mine and pointed to something on the floor next to me. Which was yesterday's underwear. FML

#5850843
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11697) - you deserved it (26864)

On 10/16/2009 at 12:30pm - misc - by Sbfreak510 - Sent from mobile version

Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said "Have fun!" FML

#5846674
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26967) - you deserved it (3082)

On 10/15/2009 at 9:59pm - health - by Rob - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years decided to start an online blog about his life. He mentioned his cars, his friends and even his staff. I was never mentioned. FML

#5840285
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26119) - you deserved it (4496)

On 10/15/2009 at 7:11am - love - by Forgotten One - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend accidentally called me from his pocket. I thought it would be funny to see what him and his friends were talking about. I laughed when I heard him talking about us fooling around until I realized it wasn't me. FML

#5839151
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32228) - you deserved it (3068)

On 10/15/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Em - Sent from mobile version



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