FMLs submitted from France

Today, my friends and I went camping. In the middle of the night, they carried me deep into the forest and left me there. I stepped on a beehive as I walked back to the tent. FML

by Schrewt / 01/24/2010 at 3:50am / Health

Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant. While the chef is throwing food at us, I'm getting ready for my turn. He tosses the piece of broccoli at me, I lean back to catch it, completely falling off my chair. I knocked everything over and had the packed restaurant laughing at me. FML

by ashley_skillz06 / 01/24/2010 at 12:21am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, when the Taco Bell I'd eaten for lunch came back up for round two. Undigested rice and beans got stuck in his hair. FML

by Aphrodite / 01/23/2010 at 4:13pm / Love

Today, my mother machine-washed a suit I rented for a friends wedding, despite me informing her that it was dry-clean only, and that the store would take care of it. I now owe $1600 to replace the suit, and my mum is refusing to help pay, as she was "only trying to help." FML

Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML

by voltronn / 01/23/2010 at 12:04am / Love

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

by jazz / 01/22/2010 at 3:11am / Kids

Today, my long term boyfriend took me to my favorite restaurant. After the main course he knelt down and finally proposed to me. I was so happy I almost cried. Until an old woman came over and said I was way to old for him. I'm 3 years younger than my fiancé. FML

by walkingonsunshine / 01/21/2010 at 7:14pm / Love

Today, I broke my wrist because a Nutella glass fell on it after I opened the cupboard. FML

by diorlove / 01/21/2010 at 5:17pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I agreed to meet my ex-girlfriend at our favorite restaurant with my hopes high. She just wanted me to meet her new boyfriend. FML

by charlieweaver21 / 01/21/2010 at 5:02pm / Love

Today, I opened the cabinet to take a pill for my headache. After taking the pill, I turned around and smashed my head on the open cabinet door. FML

by imalwaystired / 01/21/2010 at 3:20pm / Health

Today, I talked to my ex on AIM after not speaking to her since we broke up two years ago. The conversation lead up to her asking how I feel about her. So I poured my heart and soul out to her, because I still love her. She immediately logged off. FML

by JCruz411 / 01/21/2010 at 8:10am / Love

Today, I went to buy some spray paint for a project. I've never used a spray can before, so I decided to try it on paper provided. Unfortunately I didn't hold the can the right way and ended up with black, permanent, paint all over my face in the middle of a store. FML

by muffincakess / 01/20/2010 at 7:55pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom asked me to clean beneath my brother's bed for money. I found a rotten apple, a picture of my best friend, and a dead bird. I got $10. FML

by Brotherssuckkk / 01/18/2010 at 3:04pm / Kids