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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from France

Today, I was trying to be dirty with my fiancé. He got really into the roleplaying and wouldn't stop pretending to be a cop for hours. Mood officially killed. FML

#7103612
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17884) - you deserved it (4012)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by uhhggggg - Sent from mobile version

Today, I emptied out a bottle of water onto my porch as I was going into my house. Only a couple of hours later, I decided to leave and slipped on what had turned into ice, bruised my tailbone and sprained my wrist. FML

#7097742
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7964) - you deserved it (33476)

On 01/02/2010 at 2:08am - health - by couturier - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML

#7083274
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31389) - you deserved it (2299)

On 01/01/2010 at 2:14pm - misc - by johnny121 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML

#7070203
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10031) - you deserved it (29695)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by meeranda - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to have a midnight snack. I figured I knew my own house well enough to leave the lights off so my mom wouldn't wake up. Chuckling at the brilliance of my plan, I walked straight into a doorframe and bust up my nose. FML

#7031630
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7769) - you deserved it (27461)

On 12/30/2009 at 6:30am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I bought a $3000 HD camera. It never shipped to my house, so I was concerned. I then realized I had given the seller the address for a house in California. I live in Maine. FML

#7013020
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7153) - you deserved it (38772)

On 12/29/2009 at 11:56am - misc - by musicgod123 - Sent from mobile version

Today, feeling festive, I sent everyone on my phone's contact list a holiday message. Almost everyone replied back "who's this?" FML

#6983809
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28169) - you deserved it (4423)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:00am - misc - by mikeyamazing - Sent from mobile version

Today, I finally told my girlfriend I love her. She corrected my grammar. FML

#6978473
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23852) - you deserved it (9084)

On 12/27/2009 at 7:37pm - love - by ITalkGood - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has to pretend to have another boyfriend who is not me because her siblings and cousins do not accept me. FML

#6861780
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28381) - you deserved it (2832)

On 12/21/2009 at 7:13am - love - by theraarman - Sent from mobile version

Today, I have to train people overseas to do my job. If I succeed in teaching them what they need to know, then they get my job and I get fired. If they don't perform well, then as the trainer I get blamed, and get fired. FML

#6761187
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35287) - you deserved it (1931)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:30am - work - by ritualdevice - Sent from mobile version

Today, at work, I watched a man throw up in his hands, dump the contents on his plate, then eat the things it "didn't touch". I had to wash his plate. FML

#6752832
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31640) - you deserved it (1906)

On 12/14/2009 at 3:23pm - work - by militarywife2b - Sent from mobile version

Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML

#6722392
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44060) - you deserved it (3812)

On 12/12/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by RBEE (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I misplaced my wallet. Fortunately, I knew exactly where it was. Unfortunately, I had just taken out the only form of picture ID that morning. I couldn't stop the finders from laughing as they saw my fake celebrity entertainment ID while I tried to convince them it was actually my wallet. FML

#6377589
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7791) - you deserved it (15353)

On 11/20/2009 at 4:36am - misc - by starstruck (woman) - Sent from mobile version



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