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FMLs submitted from France

Today, for my birthday, my friends and family gave me: A Wii Fit, a free year at the gym and a book of diet recipes. They didn't consult with each other. I've asked for "something corresponding to me". FML

#6256305
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24085) - you deserved it (14087)

On 11/11/2009 at 11:03am - health - by Timetoloseweight (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dad called me for the first time in weeks. All he wanted to tell me was that Ashlee Simpson got fired from Melrose Place. Then he hung up. FML

#6098461
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27437) - you deserved it (2179)

On 11/01/2009 at 8:37am - love - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I bought fifteen bags of candy for the trick-or-treaters. I sat outside with a bowl of candy the whole night. Only one person came. FML

#6088334
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33243) - you deserved it (6715)

On 10/31/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by trick or not treat - Sent from mobile version

Today, after telling my best friend an idiot could make Kraft Dinner, I spilled boiling water all over my hands and forearms while attempting to strain the noodles. FML

#6086492
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6639) - you deserved it (31678)

On 10/31/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by Lexi - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was using the only stall left in a public restroom; a handicap stall. As I sat down to do my business, I felt something warm dripping down my leg. I looked down to see me urinating on myself through the raised seat. FML

#6075541
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8376) - you deserved it (27321)

On 10/30/2009 at 9:36pm - misc - by JynxQueen - Sent from mobile version

Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML

#6002557
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9974) - you deserved it (38664)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by munchkin - Sent from mobile version

Today, my daughter threw a can of hairspray into the fireplace because she saw someone do it on YouTube. FML

#5987362
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39813) - you deserved it (4660)

On 10/25/2009 at 5:06am - kids - by oh dear - Sent from mobile version

Today, I received a three-time forwarded message which I thought would turn out to be a random chain message. Turns out my boyfriend didn't want to send me the "break-up text" himself and figured it would get to me eventually after sending it to all my best friends. FML

#5984352
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32241) - you deserved it (2100)

On 10/25/2009 at 12:36am - love - by Kalaina - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out my mom is the nude model for an art class at my college. FML

#5942211
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52993) - you deserved it (2844)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:30am - misc - by scarred - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that I lie to my friends online and go "offline" for hours at a time so it appears that I have a life outside of the internet. FML

#5942193
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12020) - you deserved it (31551)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:26am - misc - by Kimberly - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in bed, thinking about my crush and playing with myself, when I remembered the complicated spreadsheet my boss asked me to make tomorrow. That got me more excited than the thought of my crush. FML

#5932457
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16410) - you deserved it (6506)

On 10/21/2009 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, in front of a bunch of people on my college campus, my mom grabbed my hand and lead me across the street. I'm 20. FML

#5912690
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33247) - you deserved it (4316)

On 10/20/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by Watchyourstep - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went on a date with an awesome guy. I got super hammered and punched him in the face. FML

#5894935
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8290) - you deserved it (57887)

On 10/19/2009 at 11:42am - love - by DrunkGirl - Sent from mobile version



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