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FMLs submitted from France

Today, I got the car of my dreams. My daughter also learned how to write her name. Now I have "LAUREN" across the side of my car. FML

#13030264
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24609) - you deserved it (4221)

On 09/13/2010 at 1:41am - kids - by llozano715 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31027) - you deserved it (28061)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to a gay club with my supportive straight best friend to find me a date. Somehow, she managed to go home with a guy and I'm still decidedly single. FML

#13018300
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29918) - you deserved it (5902)

On 09/12/2010 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I walked in on my mom taking nude pictures of herself in the kitchen, with only a Santa hat on. FML

#12989872
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40766) - you deserved it (4067)

On 09/10/2010 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by meikd423 - Sent from mobile version

Today, because I have a beach party tomorrow, I used a new gel that is supposed to prevent razor burn after shaving the bikini line. Turns out I'm highly allergic to the gel. Now I have hundreds of beautiful red bumps that look like razor burn. FML

#12989676
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21192) - you deserved it (3830)

On 09/10/2010 at 12:13pm - health - by moncheri1314 - Sent from mobile version

Today, it was my birthday. But instead of a decent surprise, my friends decided to smash a cake on my face and unhook my dress, while taking a video of it. In a public shopping mall. FML

#12959590
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29302) - you deserved it (2885)

On 09/08/2010 at 3:35am - misc - by Nothingonyou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a separation agreement from my wife. It was sent from the lawyer she spent the long weekend with right before she told me it was over. FML

#12951031
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24558) - you deserved it (2096)

On 09/07/2010 at 5:30pm - love - by Glutton for Punishment. - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at work and was confronted by a customer wanting to get a "Nemo" fish. I explained that 'Nemo' needs to live in saltwater, not freshwater, like their tank was. The customer then turns around and grabs a perforated tank divider and says, "Can't I just split them up with this?" FML

#12924795
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21184) - you deserved it (2854)

On 09/05/2010 at 11:01pm - work - by christiner - Sent from mobile version

Today, my email got hacked and sent all my contacts something for Viagra. My husband thinks I really sent it to him on purpose and now won't even talk to me. FML

#12899582
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25728) - you deserved it (2831)

On 09/04/2010 at 9:24am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was feeling in the mood, so I walked into the kitchen with only my boxers on and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to get in bed. She said, "Okay, but make sure to finish before Gossip Girl starts." FML

#12887045
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25122) - you deserved it (7460)

On 09/03/2010 at 3:42pm - intimacy - by Sexylarry - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend of 2 months decided to wrestle with my younger brother. He has gotten more action than I have. FML

#12881965
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26636) - you deserved it (6789)

On 09/03/2010 at 4:30am - love - by lonleystoner91 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I fell off my bike. I grazed my knee, shin, thigh, hip, collar bone, shoulder and face. I also strained my wrist. As I was wheeling my bike away, I stung my other leg on nettles. FML

#12861680
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23325) - you deserved it (3932)

On 09/01/2010 at 10:31pm - health - by jodulieu - Sent from mobile version

Today, I talked to my crush for half an hour. It wasn't until I was home that I realised I had some remains of the sausage roll I ate an hour earlier spread all over my teeth. FML

#12860469
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22477) - you deserved it (7604)

On 09/01/2010 at 9:26pm - love - by Rollymouth - Sent from mobile version



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