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FMLs submitted from France

Today, I was getting ready to load my groceries in my car when my remote wouldn't work and neither would my key to unlock it. A cute young guy came over, not to help but to ask me what the hell I was doing to his car. My car, that looked exactly like his, was on the other side of the lot. FML

#13341534
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17994) - you deserved it (11722)

On 10/06/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by ctschantz - Sent from mobile version

Today, my four year old daughter pulled her pants down in the middle of Best Buy. Apparently, you can smell the farts better when they don't have to pass through clothing. FML

#13312784
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29658) - you deserved it (4749)

On 10/04/2010 at 1:48am - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, to spice things up a bit my wife and I were having sex in our kitchen. She was up on the counter and I moved her over to get in a better position. The stove was still hot from dinner so now my wife has a burn that looks like a double rainbow on her ass. FML

#13297808
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10239) - you deserved it (32037)

On 10/03/2010 at 12:27am - intimacy - by EffinAhole - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend wanted to prove how honest he is so he showed me numerous texts in his phone where he told other women he was in a relationship before asking them to sleep with him. FML

#13293908
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30205) - you deserved it (2890)

On 10/02/2010 at 8:12pm - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got the guts to call my dad for the first time in nine years. He said he "almost didn't remember" he "had another daughter." Another? FML

#13273584
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30023) - you deserved it (3247)

On 10/01/2010 at 5:09am - misc - by T - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to get some exercise for the first time in months. I went to the store and bought a brand new bicycle and all the necessary paraphernalia. I drove a half hour to a bike trail, unloaded the bike, and started riding. 10 feet later, the chain snapped. FML

#13273465
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24019) - you deserved it (3741)

On 10/01/2010 at 4:35am - health - by parisite - Sent from mobile version

Today, after pulling up to my girlfriend's house for dinner with her parents, one of my favorite rock songs begin to play on the radio. After my 3 minutes of air drumming, I look up to see my girlfriend and her parents bouncing with laughter. FML

#13260803
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8602) - you deserved it (30226)

On 09/30/2010 at 6:33am - misc - by PhilDavisDied? - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that the reason my best friend is not allowed over anymore is because he hits on my mom and writes her love letters. FML

#13259037
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28727) - you deserved it (2268)

On 09/30/2010 at 1:11am - misc - by Bestfrienduncool - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mum suggested that I should take self-defense lessons just in case I ever get attacked. Jokingly, I said, "As long as I walk under street lamps, no one is going to touch me." She replied, "Well, you never know, they might mistake you for someone good looking." FML

#13235647
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26911) - you deserved it (4221)

On 09/28/2010 at 12:16pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a bad cut on my dominant hand while at work. My boss decided to order me to juice lemons... all 300 of them. FML

#13223944
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29733) - you deserved it (2735)

On 09/27/2010 at 5:06pm - work - by FoxyManicLiar - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was driving to my company picnic with 85 lbs of meat in the back seat, and 1 gallon of homemade BBQ sauce and mustard in large pans riding shotgun. As I drove down a steep hill, the BBQ sauce pan slid forward, hit the glove box and exploded in my front seat. FML

#13214179
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12150) - you deserved it (19262)

On 09/26/2010 at 8:50pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was bored so I got my little brother's toy spaceship and a teddy bear, went to my room and started flying them around, having dog fights, making explosion noises and humming epic orchestral music. My mom opened my bedroom door, showing our new hot female neighbour around the house. I'm 19. FML

#13203283
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12861) - you deserved it (33428)

On 09/26/2010 at 12:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at a comedy club, and the girl behind me was drinking. Before she swallowed it, the comedian said something funny, making her spit it all in my hair. I had just had it done for my sister's wedding tomorrow. FML

#13190418
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26953) - you deserved it (5770)

On 09/25/2010 at 12:49am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version



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