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FMLs submitted from France

Today, I was playing with my four month old daughter, flying her in the air like an airplane. I open my mouth saying 'Weeee', and she vomited on my face. FML

#13734047
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24666) - you deserved it (14287)

On 11/06/2010 at 1:18am - kids - by Username - France

Today, I was reading to a child during nap time because she woke up crying. She calmed down right after I began reading, but soon started crying again. I was confused until I felt something warm and wet on my leg. She peed on me. FML

#13728645
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22478) - you deserved it (3172)

On 11/05/2010 at 6:02pm - work - by Username - France

Today, I went to Ikea with my family. I was wearing a yellow polo that vaguely looked like the ones the Ikea employees were wearing. Two dozen people came up to me, complaining that I was staring at furniture instead of helping customers. FML

#13698709
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24600) - you deserved it (11460)

On 11/03/2010 at 6:43am - misc - by MissIsabel - Sent from mobile version

Today, in art class, everybody was showing the paintings that we have been working on for weeks. Everyone was cheering and clapping. When mine came up, nobody clapped. FML

#13696419
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24927) - you deserved it (4223)

On 11/03/2010 at 1:00am - misc - by 6boss - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was cashier at work. The line came to a stop, but there was still people there. I kept saying next, but no one moved. I finally looked over the counter where there was a lady who had been standing there the whole time. She was a midget. FML

#13684047
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34895) - you deserved it (12672)

On 11/02/2010 at 2:20am - work - by saraleerocha - Sent from mobile version

Today, my son stuck coins in our DVD player. It would be cute if he wasn't 25. FML

#13651777
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35010) - you deserved it (5403)

On 10/30/2010 at 4:42pm - kids - by idiot - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML

#13648057
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29617) - you deserved it (8109)

On 10/30/2010 at 9:40am - love - by serendipity1027 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was out eating lunch with my parents when my mom complained that I eat too quickly and don't thoroughly chew my food. My dad exclaimed, "That's because she swallows!" FML

#13640932
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29781) - you deserved it (5354)

On 10/29/2010 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, it was my first day as a mailman. One of the houses got a bunch of cards, and the owner coincidentally opened the door as I arrived. So I said to the owner that someone in the house must really be popular. He replied, "She died this Tuesday." FML

#13587554
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30153) - you deserved it (6011)

On 10/25/2010 at 7:03am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend came over to me, like she was going to kiss me, and instead rubbed her chin all over my face, exclaiming, "Can you feel my beard coming in?" Yes, yes I could. FML

#13570264
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36667) - you deserved it (3712)

On 10/24/2010 at 12:11am - love - by altocrm - Sent from mobile version

Today, I teach English in Taiwan. I got two new students, brothers named Harry and Potter. People, they're children, not pets. FML

#13541967
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29704) - you deserved it (4509)

On 10/21/2010 at 9:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that I have a gluten allergy. What this basically means is that I can't eat anything with wheat in it; bread, pasta, cake, you name it. I am Italian, this basically limits me from eating any of the awesome food my family makes almost every night. Here I come plain rice. FML

#13531568
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32913) - you deserved it (2810)

On 10/20/2010 at 11:12pm - health - by allergic - Sent from mobile version

Today, at work, my boss made me spend a hour trying to catch a baby raccoon in the parking lot. I'm a bank teller. FML

#13525218
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25936) - you deserved it (3072)

On 10/20/2010 at 2:08pm - work - by Username - Sent from mobile version



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