Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from France

Today, thanks to a particularly spicy bowl of noodles, my nose decided it would rather be a fountain. A fountain of blood. FML

#15129596
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26393) - you deserved it (3513)

On 02/26/2011 at 5:59pm - health - by mwja (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML

#15114672
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36275) - you deserved it (6325)

On 02/25/2011 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by unwantedlove (woman) - France

Today, I woke up to a good friend of mine leaving my bed. The very friend I've had a crush on for months, and knows exactly how I feel about him. Everything was great until he said, "Yeah, about last night... It's just that you were there, and I was weak. See ya." FML

#14974628
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37714) - you deserved it (6742)

On 02/14/2011 at 3:25pm - love - by Emily (woman) - France (Auvergne)

Today, my boyfriend woke me up by playing with the string of my tampon. FML

#14955015
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45024) - you deserved it (6056)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:32am - intimacy - by Eva - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML

#14921394
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11843) - you deserved it (35671)

On 02/10/2011 at 11:09am - misc - by Jaws (man) - France (Alsace)

Today, and even at this very moment, my ex, who I'm still in love with, is having sex with her new boyfriend. He's my neighbor and she's making a lot more noise with him than she did with me. FML

#14847899
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42773) - you deserved it (6570) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/05/2011 at 1:29am - intimacy - by homerde - Sent from mobile version

Today, I received a text message from my wife who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends: "Have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you tomorrow morning." His? FML

#14768786
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46337) - you deserved it (4155) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2011 at 1:21am - love - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50974) - you deserved it (4159) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, while skiing, I really needed to pee. The instructor pointed me towards some bushes. I slid over to them, and pulled my panties down. My skis then started sliding back down the slope. I ended up gliding through the bushes, all the way down to the rest of the group. FML

#14670797
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29233) - you deserved it (7655) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/22/2011 at 3:49am - misc - by sandra22 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend moved. He moved from my room... to my housemate's room. FML

#14616202
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29163) - you deserved it (3157) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - love - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I beat her. FML

#14616204
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43235) - you deserved it (3386) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML

#14616201
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26960) - you deserved it (3873) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I had an asthma attack because I was masturbating too vigorously. FML

#14614726
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17563) - you deserved it (43235) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: