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FMLs submitted from France

Today, I got the guts to call my dad for the first time in nine years. He said he "almost didn't remember" he "had another daughter." Another? FML

#13273584
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27267) - you deserved it (2996)

On 10/01/2010 at 5:09am - misc - by T - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to get some exercise for the first time in months. I went to the store and bought a brand new bicycle and all the necessary paraphernalia. I drove a half hour to a bike trail, unloaded the bike, and started riding. 10 feet later, the chain snapped. FML

#13273465
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19043) - you deserved it (2850)

On 10/01/2010 at 4:35am - health - by parisite - Sent from mobile version

Today, after pulling up to my girlfriend's house for dinner with her parents, one of my favorite rock songs begin to play on the radio. After my 3 minutes of air drumming, I look up to see my girlfriend and her parents bouncing with laughter. FML

#13260803
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7993) - you deserved it (28957)

On 09/30/2010 at 6:33am - misc - by PhilDavisDied? - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that the reason my best friend is not allowed over anymore is because he hits on my mom and writes her love letters. FML

#13259037
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25983) - you deserved it (2078)

On 09/30/2010 at 1:11am - misc - by Bestfrienduncool - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mum suggested that I should take self-defense lessons just in case I ever get attacked. Jokingly, I said, "As long as I walk under street lamps, no one is going to touch me." She replied, "Well, you never know, they might mistake you for someone good looking." FML

#13235647
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25741) - you deserved it (4095)

On 09/28/2010 at 12:16pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a bad cut on my dominant hand while at work. My boss decided to order me to juice lemons... all 300 of them. FML

#13223944
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25601) - you deserved it (2424)

On 09/27/2010 at 5:06pm - work - by FoxyManicLiar - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was driving to my company picnic with 85 lbs of meat in the back seat, and 1 gallon of homemade BBQ sauce and mustard in large pans riding shotgun. As I drove down a steep hill, the BBQ sauce pan slid forward, hit the glove box and exploded in my front seat. FML

#13214179
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10685) - you deserved it (17708)

On 09/26/2010 at 8:50pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was bored so I got my little brother's toy spaceship and a teddy bear, went to my room and started flying them around, having dog fights, making explosion noises and humming epic orchestral music. My mom opened my bedroom door, showing our new hot female neighbour around the house. I'm 19. FML

#13203283
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11977) - you deserved it (32083)

On 09/26/2010 at 12:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at a comedy club, and the girl behind me was drinking. Before she swallowed it, the comedian said something funny, making her spit it all in my hair. I had just had it done for my sister's wedding tomorrow. FML

#13190418
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21912) - you deserved it (4266)

On 09/25/2010 at 12:49am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had some girlfriends over, while my parents were having a party at our house. My drunken dad decided to come down to the basement and show us all his third nipple. FML

#13173364
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23332) - you deserved it (2462)

On 09/23/2010 at 7:18pm - misc - by lalala_hahaha - Sent from mobile version

Today, while cleaning behind a ladder, I banged my head on one of the hand rails. I stood up, cursed, and moved to the other side. To my luck, I hit the other side of my head. I now have two lumps perfectly placed as horns on my head. FML

#13086565
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17504) - you deserved it (5894)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:37pm - work - by login_eddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to dye my hair to freshen up my appearance. I asked my husband for his opinion, expecting him to recommend a color. He then asked me why going on a diet wasn't my first option. FML

#13077269
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21214) - you deserved it (9850)

On 09/16/2010 at 7:27pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, after telling me his other girlfriend is pregnant, my boyfriend said we should stay together so I could help out with the baby. FML

#13061807
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45923) - you deserved it (4048)

On 09/15/2010 at 2:02pm - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version



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