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FMLs submitted from France

Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML

#13798665
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58864) - you deserved it (3403) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/11/2010 at 3:40am - love - by Anonymous - France

Today, I learned that everyone at college was calling me "Parallel Lines" because I've got an unibrow and an apparent hairiness over my mouth. By the way, I'm a girl. FML

#13764859
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22788) - you deserved it (14116)

On 11/08/2010 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, at my cousin's baby shower, there was a discussion on what to name the baby. When the name Jacqueline was brought up, I made a face and exclaimed, "Ugh, I hate that name!" I was then informed that's the name of my cousin's mother-in-law. She definitely heard me. FML

#13738756
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8163) - you deserved it (23007)

On 11/06/2010 at 1:58pm - misc - by Username - France

Today, I was playing with my four month old daughter, flying her in the air like an airplane. I open my mouth saying 'Weeee', and she vomited on my face. FML

#13734047
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24512) - you deserved it (14268)

On 11/06/2010 at 1:18am - kids - by Username - France

Today, I was reading to a child during nap time because she woke up crying. She calmed down right after I began reading, but soon started crying again. I was confused until I felt something warm and wet on my leg. She peed on me. FML

#13728645
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21726) - you deserved it (3107)

On 11/05/2010 at 6:02pm - work - by Username - France

Today, I went to Ikea with my family. I was wearing a yellow polo that vaguely looked like the ones the Ikea employees were wearing. Two dozen people came up to me, complaining that I was staring at furniture instead of helping customers. FML

#13698709
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23487) - you deserved it (11231)

On 11/03/2010 at 6:43am - misc - by MissIsabel - Sent from mobile version

Today, in art class, everybody was showing the paintings that we have been working on for weeks. Everyone was cheering and clapping. When mine came up, nobody clapped. FML

#13696419
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24779) - you deserved it (4215)

On 11/03/2010 at 1:00am - misc - by 6boss - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was cashier at work. The line came to a stop, but there was still people there. I kept saying next, but no one moved. I finally looked over the counter where there was a lady who had been standing there the whole time. She was a midget. FML

#13684047
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34719) - you deserved it (12637)

On 11/02/2010 at 2:20am - work - by saraleerocha - Sent from mobile version

Today, my son stuck coins in our DVD player. It would be cute if he wasn't 25. FML

#13651777
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33696) - you deserved it (5282)

On 10/30/2010 at 4:42pm - kids - by idiot - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML

#13648057
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28829) - you deserved it (7986)

On 10/30/2010 at 9:40am - love - by serendipity1027 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was out eating lunch with my parents when my mom complained that I eat too quickly and don't thoroughly chew my food. My dad exclaimed, "That's because she swallows!" FML

#13640932
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28969) - you deserved it (5267)

On 10/29/2010 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, it was my first day as a mailman. One of the houses got a bunch of cards, and the owner coincidentally opened the door as I arrived. So I said to the owner that someone in the house must really be popular. He replied, "She died this Tuesday." FML

#13587554
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29229) - you deserved it (5907)

On 10/25/2010 at 7:03am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version



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