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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from France

Today, I had to tell my doctor the real reason why I can't sleep at night for him to prescribe me anymore Ambien: I still have the irrational fear that there are monsters in the closet. I'm 22. FML

#12616432
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15498) - you deserved it (9825)

On 08/19/2010 at 12:10am - health - by Sleeeeeep - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML

#12612003
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27564) - you deserved it (7721)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by XxMe123xx - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked for one when I was hard, the first one I sent I was hard. FML

#12595665
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26730) - you deserved it (14929)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Photagrapher - Sent from mobile version

Today, a wasp stung my nipple. Twice. The swelling makes it look like I'm growing a third breast. FML

#12539128
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23286) - you deserved it (2929)

On 08/15/2010 at 1:24pm - animals - by tammy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a fancy dinner date with a really hot guy. Near the end of our meal, he asked if I wanted to go back to his place. As soon as we walked in the door, he started a religious debate with his room mate. It's been 45 minutes and its still going. FML

#12443744
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26787) - you deserved it (3795)

On 08/11/2010 at 12:09am - love - by bitchasshonky - Sent from mobile version

Today, the sprinklers in the hotel room came on and stayed on. There was no fire. My family is currently living in the hotel, so everything we own is soaked. FML

#12410355
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20943) - you deserved it (1820)

On 08/09/2010 at 12:08pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told my father I registered for the Marines, and that I'm leaving for bootcamp next week. He asked if this means that he doesn't have to pay child support anymore. FML

#12401273
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22900) - you deserved it (2307)

On 08/09/2010 at 12:03am - misc - by Widowmaker - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted to make the most of his 1 month X-Box Live coupon. FML

#12368277
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29519) - you deserved it (5081)

On 08/07/2010 at 7:01am - love - by Single (woman) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML

#12301472
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34110) - you deserved it (426)

On 08/04/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at a red light when the guy next to me gave me that look people give when they want a street race. I won, but I should've seen the word "Sheriff" written on the side of his car. FML

#12247405
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6405) - you deserved it (55746)

On 08/01/2010 at 3:41pm - misc - by Our Talisman - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband told me "The only reason I stay with you is because it's cheaper than paying child support." FML

#12203978
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32081) - you deserved it (4673)

On 07/30/2010 at 7:34am - love - by Tree (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was rubbing my lips against my boyfriend's lips when I said "Your mustache tickles" in a sexy tone. His response was "So does yours." FML

#12161985
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18540) - you deserved it (21130)

On 07/28/2010 at 7:20am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told my girlfriend of 2 years that I was sexually abused as a kid. She was only the third person I've told. She reacted by breaking up with me because I "might do something to her kids." FML

#12114881
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54144) - you deserved it (2973)

On 07/26/2010 at 12:34am - intimacy - by draegoncode - Sent from mobile version



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