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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from France

Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML

#16188674
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35448) - you deserved it (6621) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/15/2011 at 2:19pm - misc - by bouda - France (Centre)

Today, I was sitting on the bus following a harrowing breakup. A boy of no more than 6 looked at me full of compassion and said, "Are you crying because you're ugly?" FML

#16116610
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43210) - you deserved it (5434) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/10/2011 at 10:56am - kids - by Hahapasdroleleptit - France

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML

#15805096
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40204) - you deserved it (11359) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/16/2011 at 7:28am - intimacy - by Proprepourtant - France

Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML

#15528931
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27381) - you deserved it (53649) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/28/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Danou - Sent from mobile version

Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML

#15398872
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46004) - you deserved it (8125)

On 03/20/2011 at 12:10pm - kids - by parenting_failure (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I performed in my school's choir concert. The girl next to me started to pass out, and I grabbed her so she wouldn't hit her head. After we were done performing and the curtains closed, my choir teacher dragged me off stage and said I was getting an F for "creating a distraction". FML

#15368497
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37604) - you deserved it (2997)

On 03/18/2011 at 3:08pm - misc - by musicmaniac13 (woman) - France

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

#15309756
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107509) - you deserved it (6439) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2011 at 5:26pm - love - by Albert06 - France

Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy. It was going great until his 6-year-old brother walked in and screamed so loudly it brought both of his parents running. FML

#15250812
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34764) - you deserved it (18315)

On 03/09/2011 at 12:12pm - intimacy - by prdept. (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I withdrew €40 at the ATM to pay for dinner later tonight. It wasn't until I went to pay for it that I realized I'd taken the receipt, but left the cash in the ATM. FML

#15230586
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17499) - you deserved it (36985)

On 03/07/2011 at 4:38pm - money - by booooo (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I found my mother in tears, so I asked her what was wrong. She told me, "It's your father, he wants a divorce..." I asked if he'd met another woman, and my mom replied "No, not a woman..." FML

#15205288
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52260) - you deserved it (4396) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/05/2011 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous - France (Alsace)

Today, I found out the hard way that if you think a waiter is hot, you probably shouldn't tell your parents. They could react by screaming at him across the room to tell him you think he's a hottie. FML

#15203097
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26589) - you deserved it (14532)

On 03/05/2011 at 12:34am - misc - by anonymous - France

Today, my mother noticed that I hadn't taken the trash out in a few weeks and angry, piled various full trash bags on my bed. I've been away on holiday for the past three weeks, I guess she didn't notice that part. FML

#15195848
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31349) - you deserved it (3132)

On 03/04/2011 at 11:25am - misc - by carr (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, thanks to a particularly spicy bowl of noodles, my nose decided it would rather be a fountain. A fountain of blood. FML

#15129596
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26156) - you deserved it (3485)

On 02/26/2011 at 5:59pm - health - by mwja (man) - Sent from mobile version



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