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FMLs submitted from France

Today, I woke up to the sight of a zucchini and a condom on my bedside table, along with a note saying "I know it's tough being single." Apparently my mom has boundary issues, my dad will laugh at anything, and the fact I just got dumped means nothing. FML

#19437878
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26862) - you deserved it (2501)

On 04/09/2012 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by Madeline Lee (woman) - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML

#19283083
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21491) - you deserved it (5686) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/15/2012 at 3:28pm - health - by Sica - France

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on in a water park changing stall. A woman and a security guard barged in and angrily told us that there were children around. We were escorted out of the park wearing nothing but our swimsuits. FML

#19221351
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7071) - you deserved it (65071)

On 03/05/2012 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

#19196549
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8393) - you deserved it (52627) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by BadIdea - France

Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML

#19147436
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10030) - you deserved it (34575) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/23/2012 at 5:01pm - misc - by Laviolette - France

Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML

#19035452
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27327) - you deserved it (8677) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2012 at 5:11pm - misc - by Bonapp - France

Today, at around 2am, I was walking through a parking lot to my car when a man walking behind me told me not to be scared. I turned around to tell him there was no problem. He was naked. FML

#18991669
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31398) - you deserved it (2750) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/04/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by DarkDolly - France

Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML

#18927018
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36583) - you deserved it (2896)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a swollen knee, and was slowly limping to the toilet. All of a sudden, my mom ran past me, beating me to it. As she closed the door, she said, "AT LEAST I CAN RUN!" FML

#18917504
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25115) - you deserved it (2567) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/26/2012 at 5:08pm - health - by Jen_ - France

Today, while I was out shopping, my pants decided that they just didn't have enough holes in them, and ripped a new one in the crotch. FML

#18864007
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19834) - you deserved it (4862)

On 01/20/2012 at 6:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - France

Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML

#18814667
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26062) - you deserved it (3285) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/15/2012 at 1:14pm - love - by Vitriol (man) - France



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