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FMLs submitted from France

Today, I woke up to find my cat has gone into heat. Her favorite thing to do right now is sticking her ass in my face and howling like a Nazgûl. FML

#19992743
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19550) - you deserved it (4012)

On 07/30/2012 at 2:05pm - animals - by soph511 (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11243) - you deserved it (37809)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I paid a social visit to my grandparents. While we were watching the news, a story came on about the Queen of England. I scoffed, "How is she not dead already? How old is she, anyway?" My grandmother replied, "About my age." Oops. FML

#19910434
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6565) - you deserved it (37146) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2012 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - France

Today, I discovered that I'm adopted. How? After a great lunch, I asked my uncle how he'd made the salad dressing. He replied, "Haha! It's a secret family recipe, my dear!" I wouldn't have thought twice about it, were it not for my parents' shocked expressions, and the long, awkward silence. FML

#19901344
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27521) - you deserved it (1687) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/06/2012 at 6:14pm - misc - by Lyn (woman) - France

Today, a guy asked for my number at a party. As I was entering my number into his phone, my name and a picture of me popped up. I'm afraid I just met my stalker. FML

#19872110
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26135) - you deserved it (2771)

On 06/30/2012 at 4:09pm - love - by ohbiebjetaime (woman) - France

Today, my parents made a list of all the things they could have done had I not been born. FML

#19812575
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31148) - you deserved it (3004)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by theunborn - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I was once again passed over for a promotion. I'm now the assistant to a kid who has failed to meet almost every single responsibility he's been given before. It's my job to make sure he's successful, and if he isn't, I'll lose my job. FML

#19807859
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24159) - you deserved it (1764)

On 06/18/2012 at 3:49pm - misc - by wenchfucker (man) - France (Lorraine)

Today, I decided to be healthy and go for a run. I broke my ankle. FML

#19726034
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26205) - you deserved it (3550)

On 06/03/2012 at 10:47am - health - by Monkey253100 - France

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

#19710494
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29146) - you deserved it (2817) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML

#19595631
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17780) - you deserved it (31002) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/08/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by Mouhahaa (man) - France

Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML

#19567272
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26839) - you deserved it (2167) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/03/2012 at 3:55am - misc - by Laura (woman) - France



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