FMLs submitted from France

Today, while on the tram with my friend, we ended up discussing religion. When we started talking about God, some guy asked us, in a serious tone, to "stop talking about me" because it was really starting to bother him. FML

by DieuEstUnHomme / 02/03/2016 at 10:44am / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Transportation

Today, my eldest daughter announced she was getting divorced. She never even told me she was married. FML

by Kimel / 01/21/2016 at 7:11pm / France (Franche-Comte) / Love

Today, as a natural science teacher, I was drawing a uterus on the class chalkboard. One of my students started messing around and being noisy, so I shouted, "Be quiet and check out my uterus!" FML

by sciencenat / 01/14/2016 at 1:36am / Work

Today, and as always, I recycle my trash at work: paper in the yellow trashcan, the rest in the black one. This morning, I saw a cleaning lady empty the contents of the black trashcan into the yellow one, put the whole lot into a big plastic bag and then leave as if this was normal. FML

by rainperson / 01/07/2016 at 5:18am / Work

Today, my 4-year-old son is distraught. This morning we saw a man, dressed as Santa, passed out drunk on a public bench. My son is now convinced that it was his corpse, and that Santa Claus is dead. FML

by donguigeek / 12/23/2015 at 11:32pm / France / Kids

Today, Murphy's law didn't check out: my piece of toast didn't fall on the side containing the spread of jam. However, when I leaned against the corner of the table to pick it up, I knocked a full ashtray on top of it. FML

by Anonyme / 12/17/2015 at 1:24am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my boss at the end of an awesome internship. He said he was really satisfied with my work, and that he had considered hiring me. Turns out he decided not to because I smile too much and it unnerves him. FML

by Greenskies / 12/09/2015 at 10:26am / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my roommate thought of a new idea for our household. According to him, we should take dumps at work as often as we can, that way, "we'll save on toilet paper at home." FML

by MrRadin / 12/04/2015 at 12:31am / France / Money

Today, I had a boyfriend who wanted to wait until marriage before having sex. When I came home, I realised he must have married my roommate. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2015 at 1:42am / France (Corse) / Intimacy

Today, I'm 4ft9 "tall" and I always have trouble reaching things that are high up. It's my birthday, and I got three footstools as gifts. FML

by mini matthylde / 11/19/2015 at 4:57am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's job interview day. In the elevator on the way there, I overheard potential candidates talking about the boss of the company, mocking his alleged lack of credibility. Who's the boss? Me. They don't know that yet. FML

by Oli974 / 10/22/2015 at 9:08am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Work

Today, I went to a group gym lesson. While working on our abs, the coach came through, touching our stomachs to check we were doing the exercises correctly. When he got to me, he asked, "How many kids have you got then?" I'm 22, and I've got none. FML

by Mel / 10/05/2015 at 12:21am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Health

Today, my brother told me that he needed to borrow a hammer, a chisel, and a drill just in case. I asked him if he was finally getting round to starting work on his apartment. Not at all, he was just going to crack open the coconut he'd just bought at the supermarket. FML

by caisse à outs / 09/22/2015 at 9:06pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Love