FMLs submitted from France

Today, after spending over two hours cleaning my kitchen from top to bottom, my 5-year-old then runs in, yells, “Snowstorm!” and throws a bag of flour all over the floor. FML

by jaimpastaggle / 10/06/2016 at 10:24am / France / Kids

Today, I got a call from my panicking grandmother. I asked her what was going on, and she explained that, “Godzilla doesn’t work.” Not really understanding, I asked her to clarify. “Yes, you know, Godzilla, to use the internet.” FML

by Grandzilla / 09/09/2016 at 12:10am / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Geek

Today, my eyesight is getting terrible. I saw a white cat in front of my house, so I went up to it. To my delight it didn’t move, so I bent down to stroke it. Wrong call, it was a plastic bag. FML

by ckatia / 08/30/2016 at 5:29am / Health

Today, I learned that my friends nicknamed me Snow White, not because I’ve got dark hair and very pale skin, but because I “only hook up with tiny dudes”. FML

by Jioune / 07/05/2016 at 5:56pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love

Today, a guy who likes me a little too much, and who I asked to tone his advances down a little, sent me a message on Twitter, Facebook and by text message to apologize. FML

by helprelou / 06/29/2016 at 6:12pm / France (Pays de la Loire) / Love

Today, my friends renamed my dog, “Dog Vader.“ Yes, my dog has asthma. FML

by Lua / 06/28/2016 at 1:09pm / France (Picardie) / Animals

Today, my 16-year-old daughter handed me the picture she wants TV reports to use if ever she happens to get kidnapped. FML

by DesperateMother / 06/28/2016 at 6:12am / France (Alsace) / Kids

Today, my six-year-old daughter organized a treasure hunt… for our cat. She hid the contents of an entire bag of cat food all around the house. FML

by seatle girl / 06/27/2016 at 8:43pm / France (Picardie) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend came to my workplace to tell me she was breaking up with me. My boss, who was passing by, fired me for "chatting with friends" during work hours. FML

by WrongPlaceWrongTime / 06/25/2016 at 2:51pm / France / Work

Today, my divorced parents have started sending each other photos of both of my bedrooms, to, “compare the shambles and see who wins.“ FML

by Naulwenn / 06/23/2016 at 12:25am / Miscellaneous

Today, I managed to fracture my shoulder blade and dislocate my shoulder, just by falling off a deckchair. FML

by Booooolette / 06/22/2016 at 12:27am / France (Picardie) / Health

Today, I asked my little cousin if he had a girlfriend if he had a girlfriend. “Yes,“ he said. “Two, but I’m going to keep the one with the biggest boobs.“ He’s 7. FML

by Pseudo / 06/21/2016 at 1:33am / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Kids

Today, the pizza delivery guy saw me in my underwear. My boyfriend is so ashamed of me that he pointed out to the guy twice that we were just roommates. FML

by Pouponette / 06/16/2016 at 7:07am / France / Love