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FMLs submitted from Finland

Today, it was my twenty-first birthday, and a couple of friends took me out to celebrate. After ordering us shots throughout the night, my friends took off abruptly, leaving me with my very first bar tab. FML

Today, while taking the trash out, the old cranky elevator in my apartment complex finally gave up on life. For a long hour I was stuck between floors 4 and 5, practically embracing my bio-waste can. FML

Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML

#19627538
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23764) - you deserved it (7840)

On 05/15/2012 at 3:02pm - misc - by FML (woman) - Finland

Today, I was at the grocery store, waiting in line to pay. A man jumped me from behind, and my first reflex was to brutally elbow him in the face. I soon discovered my attacker was one of the patients at the disability house at which I work, and he was trying to hug me. FML

#19443531
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30486) - you deserved it (6766)

On 04/10/2012 at 3:26pm - work - by rescuetheduck (woman) - Finland (Eastern Finland)

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31525) - you deserved it (9700)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I was getting out of the shower, when my boyfriend decided to ask, "Did your boobs get smaller, or did you just gain weight around them?" FML

#18089011
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37581) - you deserved it (4673)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by The fat and the ugly (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to hold hands with plastic "horror hand" I bought for Halloween. FML

#17734152
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23064) - you deserved it (8225)

On 09/13/2011 at 2:11am - love - by Penkkis (woman) - Finland (Lapland)

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

#16918734
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51490) - you deserved it (4757)

On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I got a boner in the MRI machine while my pelvic bone was being scanned. FML

#16218945
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48430) - you deserved it (7865)

On 05/17/2011 at 6:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my mom got me a job working for the man she's cheating on my dad with. My dad doesn't know that she's cheating, and my mom doesn't know that I know. It's just awkward. FML

#15136903
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48754) - you deserved it (3738)

On 02/27/2011 at 7:39am - misc - by awkward (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my boyfriend thought the garbage can in our kitchen smelled bad. Instead of cleaning it, he had it equipped with a Wunderbaum. Our entire house now smells like "New Car". FML

#14717591
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19457) - you deserved it (3499)

On 01/26/2011 at 5:38am - misc - by everfresh (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, waking up I noticed that my female boss had texted me during the night, telling me she wants me bad. I'm a woman, happily married to a man, and now have to turn her down somehow and not get fired in the process. FML

#13700074
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34760) - you deserved it (3117)

On 11/03/2010 at 10:35am - intimacy - by tuppu (woman) - Finland

Today, I found out that the so-called vegetarian soy sauce my mom has made for me several times has minced meat in it. FML

#9068336
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24181) - you deserved it (12483)

On 03/14/2010 at 6:21am - misc - by Vegetarian (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)



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