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FMLs submitted from Finland

Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML

#19627538
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23682) - you deserved it (7832)

On 05/15/2012 at 3:02pm - misc - by FML (woman) - Finland

Today, I was at the grocery store, waiting in line to pay. A man jumped me from behind, and my first reflex was to brutally elbow him in the face. I soon discovered my attacker was one of the patients at the disability house at which I work, and he was trying to hug me. FML

#19443531
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28221) - you deserved it (6425)

On 04/10/2012 at 3:26pm - work - by rescuetheduck (woman) - Finland (Eastern Finland)

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30255) - you deserved it (9472)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I was getting out of the shower, when my boyfriend decided to ask, "Did your boobs get smaller, or did you just gain weight around them?" FML

#18089011
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37482) - you deserved it (4665)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by The fat and the ugly (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to hold hands with plastic "horror hand" I bought for Halloween. FML

#17734152
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22995) - you deserved it (8208)

On 09/13/2011 at 2:11am - love - by Penkkis (woman) - Finland (Lapland)

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

#16918734
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51384) - you deserved it (4754)

On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I got a boner in the MRI machine while my pelvic bone was being scanned. FML

#16218945
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48043) - you deserved it (7820)

On 05/17/2011 at 6:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my mom got me a job working for the man she's cheating on my dad with. My dad doesn't know that she's cheating, and my mom doesn't know that I know. It's just awkward. FML

#15136903
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48655) - you deserved it (3732)

On 02/27/2011 at 7:39am - misc - by awkward (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my boyfriend thought the garbage can in our kitchen smelled bad. Instead of cleaning it, he had it equipped with a Wunderbaum. Our entire house now smells like "New Car". FML

#14717591
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19371) - you deserved it (3488)

On 01/26/2011 at 5:38am - misc - by everfresh (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, waking up I noticed that my female boss had texted me during the night, telling me she wants me bad. I'm a woman, happily married to a man, and now have to turn her down somehow and not get fired in the process. FML

#13700074
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33407) - you deserved it (2995)

On 11/03/2010 at 10:35am - intimacy - by tuppu (woman) - Finland

Today, I found out that the so-called vegetarian soy sauce my mom has made for me several times has minced meat in it. FML

#9068336
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23331) - you deserved it (12210)

On 03/14/2010 at 6:21am - misc - by Vegetarian (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I found out that my mom had read my diary because she was worried. She now knows details about my depression, details about my sex life, such as how I lost my virginity, to whom (I don't have a boyfriend), and what condition I was in at the time (drunk as a duck). She also showed my dad. FML

#6389585
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35559) - you deserved it (20096)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I was driving in my car when out of the corner of my eye I notice a car pulling up next to me trying to get past me. I speed up, so as not to let the car pass me. It took me a while before I noticed I was racing against the shadow of my own car. FML

#2991676
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7601) - you deserved it (68902)

On 06/18/2009 at 10:15am - misc - by nerd (woman) - Finland (Eastern Finland)



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