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FMLs submitted from Denmark

Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML

#17661028
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31512) - you deserved it (3966)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:08pm - love - by mommydearest (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, it's my birthday. The present I received from my best friend was the exact same necklace which I gave to her for her birthday two months ago. It had been unwrapped and re-wrapped in the same paper. FML

#17063593
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36505) - you deserved it (3895)

On 07/11/2011 at 5:00am - misc - by Vic (woman) - Denmark

Today, I was in my family's hotel room taking a dump. The lock to the bathroom was broken so we had made a deal: when the door is closed, someone is using the toilet. The maid didn't know that. She punched me in the face because she claimed I scared her. FML

#16675127
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36412) - you deserved it (3167)

On 06/15/2011 at 9:37am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, I woke up, rolled over, and kissed the boy who was peacefully sleeping next to me, cheerfully saying, "Good morning, baby!" That boy is my dog. FML

#16284228
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15558) - you deserved it (33476)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark

Today, my mother said she called our internet provider, and told them to cancel it. In rage, I left for a friends house for a couple of hours. When I got home, she told me she was joking, and wanted me out of the house so she could eat all the ice-cream. FML

#16041715
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17537) - you deserved it (37722)

On 05/04/2011 at 5:11am - misc - by Derps (man) - Denmark (Midtjyllen)

Today, my wife figured that a good foreplay move would be to rub MY underwear in MY face. FML

#15675353
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36460) - you deserved it (9466)

On 04/07/2011 at 1:19am - intimacy - by 1337fade (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my mom banned me from watching The Simpsons and Family Guy because apparently, they're part of "the Devil's plan to corrupt God's children". FML

#15370334
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46200) - you deserved it (9850)

On 03/18/2011 at 5:40pm - misc - by Jonathan (man) - Denmark (Midtjyllen)

Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML

#14962241
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31305) - you deserved it (2668)

On 02/13/2011 at 7:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I spent most of the day doing a project for school. When I finished, I got a call from my project partner. She couldn't finish her part because her internet didn't work. When I finally finished everything, I went on Facebook. She was on Facebook too. FML

#14798107
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45902) - you deserved it (4522)

On 02/01/2011 at 3:26pm - misc - by peachmelba (woman) - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, it was my birthday. I got ONE birthday greeting: from my bank, telling me they were closing my account. FML

#14785892
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32624) - you deserved it (3314)

On 01/31/2011 at 8:55am - misc - by Micawber - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML

#14533477
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8937) - you deserved it (38221)

On 01/10/2011 at 2:06pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Midtjyllen)

Today, I had a snowball fight with a friend. In the midst of the game, I stole her hat and put it on my head, ignoring her pleas. Apparently, she was trying to say she had head lice. I can now verify that. FML

#14397840
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9953) - you deserved it (41624)

On 12/30/2010 at 4:37pm - health - by infected - Denmark

Today, I helped two people find the central station on my way home. As a thank you, they mugged me and stole my wallet and iPod Touch. FML

#13935751
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31175) - you deserved it (3973)

On 11/22/2010 at 10:25am - misc - by americanized (man) - Denmark (Syddanmark)



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