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FMLs submitted from Denmark

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

#19846265
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27761) - you deserved it (16269)

On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML

#19756840
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23811) - you deserved it (2071)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:54pm - love - by SprinklerDodger (man) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I was having a debate with my friend, who actually believes karma is real. He got very angry with me and stormed off, tripping over his own feet in the process. I laughed and asked what he'd done in a past life to deserve that one. He responded by getting up and punching me. FML

#19750799
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9187) - you deserved it (34057)

On 06/07/2012 at 5:26pm - health - by sh3n-D (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML

#19717228
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30650) - you deserved it (6732)

On 06/01/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by dating a manchild (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML

#19627607
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21556) - you deserved it (2904)

On 05/15/2012 at 3:27pm - health - by rhya4n (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my kitchen nearly burned down because the fire alarm didn't detect the plumes of smoke wafting through the kitchen. This is the same alarm that wails when I use the toaster. FML

#18825531
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29588) - you deserved it (2963)

On 01/16/2012 at 3:18pm - misc - by Lea (woman) - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, I saw a naked man for the first time in my life. It was the nude model in my art class. I was forced to draw wrinkles and fat rolls in places I didn't even know existed. FML

#18727646
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27475) - you deserved it (4600)

On 01/06/2012 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark

Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML

#18364433
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39217) - you deserved it (3238)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I realized that trying to fit in with my crush's social circle by acting like one of the lads was a waste of time. All he does is high-five me all the time and tell me every little detail of his latest one night stands. FML

#18089379
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14961) - you deserved it (24249)

On 10/27/2011 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

#17960202
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33804) - you deserved it (8224)

On 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm - intimacy - by margelover (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML

#17661028
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27930) - you deserved it (3642)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:08pm - love - by mommydearest (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, it's my birthday. The present I received from my best friend was the exact same necklace which I gave to her for her birthday two months ago. It had been unwrapped and re-wrapped in the same paper. FML

#17063593
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33027) - you deserved it (3602)

On 07/11/2011 at 5:00am - misc - by Vic (woman) - Denmark

Today, I was in my family's hotel room taking a dump. The lock to the bathroom was broken so we had made a deal: when the door is closed, someone is using the toilet. The maid didn't know that. She punched me in the face because she claimed I scared her. FML

#16675127
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32697) - you deserved it (2876)

On 06/15/2011 at 9:37am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Sjelland)



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