FMLs submitted from Denmark

Today, I invited my sister to my wedding. She is not coming, because I didn't reply to her email three years ago. The one she sent to my whole family, saying that I was a dangerous psychopath. FML

by Coco / 04/19/2016 at 4:58pm / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Miscellaneous

Today, a kind cyclist rode up next to me to inform me that my bag of groceries was about to fall off. Exceedingly careful, I slowly brought my bike to a halt. Only at the very second I stood still did I hear the dreaded "twang" as my carrier broke, and my stuff smashed to the ground. FML

by ThrewItOntheGrooooooound / 04/07/2016 at 5:48am / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my sister's kids refer to me as their 'Druncle'. I guess I have to admit to myself that I'm an alcoholic. FML

by drucle / 03/18/2016 at 8:49am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Health

Today, I had sex for the first time. Now my girlfriend won't talk to me because I don't think she is pretty enough since I "wanted it to be over so fast". FML

Today, I was at the gym. At the end of my workout, I realised I lost the bundle of keys I had in my pocket that contained the key to my locker with all my stuff. I panic and start looking for them. After an hour of desperate searching, I find them thrown in the bottom of the public toilet. Thanks. FML

by oh, shit...... / 02/02/2016 at 3:27pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my family refers to my room as "the virgin cave". FML

by Dexter_39476 / 01/24/2016 at 12:40am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called my mom to make sure she could attend on the wedding day my fiancé and I had discussed. She started off with criticizing the venue we considered, then went on to criticize my fiancé, and then stated she would under no circumstances help out, but demanded to pick my wedding dress. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2016 at 3:53am / Denmark / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister confessed that when she runs out of clean underwear, she uses mine. That wouldn't be so bad if she didn't also put it back in my dresser afterwards so I wouldn't notice. FML

by IHateMySister / 01/02/2016 at 5:36am / Denmark (Sjelland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a car accident, two days before Christmas. I'm now laying at home, not able to walk. My whole family thinks that I'm joking. A car drove over my foot, I'm not joking. FML

by julieriis / 12/23/2015 at 1:03pm / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Transportation

Today, we were all put in groups to make a presentation together. And by "together" I mean I pulled an all nighter to finish it by myself. My group criticized my work. FML

by aloneagainnaturally / 11/28/2015 at 6:35am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Work

Today, I felt confident after a maths exam and thought I did rather well. When discussing the exam with my class mates afterwards, they kept talking about how difficult question 10 was. I only did 9 questions. Apparently the exam paper had a backside. FML

Today, I came home from a business trip and was greeted by a foul smell. I soon found out my husband accidentally let the milk go bad by leaving it out all day, then tried to solve the problem by "balancing the temperatures" by putting it in the freezer. Oh honey, no. Just no. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2015 at 12:18pm / Denmark (Sjelland) / Love

Today, at my grandmother's funeral, my senile grandfather kept asking me "Where's granny? I've been looking for her, but I can't find her." FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2015 at 11:08am / Denmark / Miscellaneous