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FMLs submitted from Czech Republic

Today, my dad is having his midlife crisis and bought a mercedes along with a girlfriend less than half his age. I was trying to be supportive until I found out he is funding his midlife crisis with my university loan. FML

#21500343
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24475) - you deserved it (1444)

On 12/05/2015 at 9:54am - money - by adam (man) - Czech Republic

Today, my boyfriend, who is rather large, picked me up to give me a hug, and some over-eager security guard actually pointed his tazer at him and told him to put me down. So he put me down and tried to ask what he'd done wrong. The bastard tazed him for acting aggressively. FML

#21490908
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28747) - you deserved it (1628)

On 11/10/2015 at 5:15pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Czech Republic

Today, I realised how damn creepy I am because I get nervous and smile when someone looks at me, and no it's not one of those smiles you'd love looking at, it's a smile straight out of a horror movie. I made a bunch of children run away. FML

#21489520
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21086) - you deserved it (2526)

On 11/07/2015 at 9:33am - misc - by Hipnog (man) - Czech Republic

Today, I went on a first date with my crush. Right before the date, I noticed a monstrous pimple in the middle of my forehead. I covered it with make-up, but it was still visible. The guy spent the whole evening laughing at me and telling me that I look like an unicorn. FML

#21460569
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24245) - you deserved it (2038)

On 08/25/2015 at 3:46pm - love - by NocturnalFox (woman) - Czech Republic (Plzensky kraj)

Today, I went on a date with a cute guy I met at a bookstore. He stood up and said he was leaving when I said that I didn't like 50 Shades of Grey, because he, "doesn't want to be near a bitch who doesn't know her place". He then told me to give him a ride home. FML

#21392816
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36376) - you deserved it (3199)

On 04/13/2015 at 6:43am - love - by whymanwhy (woman) - Czech Republic

Today, I was walking to a job interview. I needed to get rid of some gum but there were no trash cans in sight, so I spat it out on the ground. Next thing I know, some guy grabs me, sticks the gum in my hair, and walks off, muttering curses. I couldn't get it out in time for the interview. FML

#21234860
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21902) - you deserved it (48988)

On 08/11/2014 at 1:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML

#21130670
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46104) - you deserved it (6513)

On 05/04/2014 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, me and some friends had home-made burgers for lunch. The guy who did the cooking later insisted that spitting in a frying pan is a perfectly acceptable way of guessing the right time to add the oil. FML

#21009569
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39423) - you deserved it (3426)

On 12/29/2013 at 6:28pm - health - by HungerStrike (man) - Czech Republic (Stredocesky kraj)

Today, I was sitting at my favorite coffee shop, when a creepy 50-ish looking guy sat at my table. He asked if I'm into submissive guys, and if I wanted to dominate him. I'm a 17-year-old girl, and am now scared to ever go back there. FML

#20754256
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47965) - you deserved it (2893)

On 06/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Czech Republic

Today, I spent the whole night and day painting a portrait of my girlfriend. Being proud of it, I sent it to her hoping she would appreciate it. I spent hours working on that picture only for her to reply with, "That's not me, is it?" FML

#20565101
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35212) - you deserved it (4339)

On 03/29/2013 at 7:12am - love - by artist (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML

#20456974
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41566) - you deserved it (5098)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by Mary - Czech Republic

Today, I was sitting on a train, doing homework for my programming class, when a man sat in the seat next to me. He must have been a programmer too, because he spent the next few hours staring at my screen and laughing whenever I made a mistake. FML

#20169793
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26449) - you deserved it (2415)

On 11/19/2012 at 5:37pm - misc - by Trinity (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML

#20124147
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14439) - you deserved it (30245)

On 10/19/2012 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Czech Republic (Jihomoravsky kraj)



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