FMLs submitted from Cyprus

Today, I found out my boyfriend has an account on a sex hookup site. He said it has "interesting articles" and that he'd completed his profile and listed his sexual preferences out of boredom. When I told him to sign in and prove he hadn't been messaging girls, he refused and called me paranoid. FML

by single once again / 10/07/2015 at 3:41am / Cyprus (Nicosia) / Love

Today, I received a promotional message offering a half-off deal on an expensive coffee maker. The only reason why I received the message is because I bought that same coffee maker yesterday and I signed up to their mailing list. FML

by FFS / 05/28/2015 at 1:41pm / Cyprus (Limassol) / Money

Today, I finally found my watch after weeks searching for it. It was on my teacher's wrist. FML

by concom / 05/27/2015 at 3:40pm / Cyprus / Miscellaneous

Today, a new employee started at our office. She's about 18, barely does any work, chews gum loudly, has no manners, and happens to sit right next to me. She also threatens to report me for harassment whenever I politely ask her to not bash my chair with the back of her chair. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2015 at 12:17pm / Cyprus (Paphos) / Work

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. As things got heated, he broke down crying. I assumed it was just anxiety so I hugged him and told him it's alright and that it didn't matter, we'd try another time. Half an hour later, he confessed that he's actually gay. FML

by gunnerette / 12/21/2014 at 3:30am / Cyprus (Larnaca) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my taxi driver kept falling asleep and swerving off the road, so I asked him if he was okay. He stopped and burst out sobbing about the long hours he had to do after his divorce and his wife taking all he had. Long story short, I ended up driving him home and getting a taxi from his place. FML

by rockytrolley / 10/08/2014 at 5:01am / Cyprus / Transportation

Today, I played a friendly prank on my dad, loosening the legs of his chair so it would fall apart when he sat on it. He responded by making me stand outside and watch as he keyed both sides of my car, front to back, as punishment. FML

by Anonymous / 11/03/2013 at 4:32pm / Cyprus (Nicosia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2013 at 12:24pm / Cyprus (Limassol) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML

by ifhehadadickforaheaditdbefuckingsmall / 03/10/2013 at 2:50pm / Cyprus (Nicosia) / Love

Today, I got so bored that I ordered my DVD drawer from awesomest to non-awesomest. I need a life. FML

by melonhead77 / 03/29/2012 at 7:46am / Cyprus / Miscellaneous

Today, after I sent around 300 entries to a competition hosted by a deodorant company where the main prize is a trip to Hawaii, spending around 5 hours sending the entries, I won a deodorant. FML

by mr.nobody / 12/16/2011 at 9:59am / Cyprus (Nicosia) / Money

Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML

by milkymoo / 05/29/2011 at 9:45pm / Cyprus / Work

Today, at a restaurant, I ordered the best chocolate soufflé on the menu, which was called "Double Satisfaction". The waiter asked me what would I like to order. The words that came out of my mouth were "Double Orgasm". FML

by theshameofit / 02/01/2011 at 12:42pm / Cyprus (Limassol) / Intimacy