Today, I got my medical checkup back. Apparently, I'm diagnosed with a liver condition generally found in alcoholics. I've never drank in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51323) - you deserved it (2868)
On 05/18/2009 at 4:48am - health - by esk (man) - China (Shanghai)
Today, I was walking to find a public toilet in a Chinese village. While looking for the women's restroom, I stepped on a thin sheet of plastic. I fell into the toilet's waste collection area and found myself knee-deep in the villagers' faeces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57585) - you deserved it (3922)
On 05/13/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by pooped (woman) - China (Beijing)
Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies "That's my dad". FML
I agree, your life sucks (8179) - you deserved it (50804)
On 04/22/2009 at 2:24pm - misc - by derranged - China (Tianjin)
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46782) - you deserved it (127913)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
Today, I had a softball team dinner, and I was sitting with a bunch of girls who were talking about how far they've gone with guys. One girl goes "I must be the least experienced one here, I've never even kissed a guy!" Surprised, I said "me too!" and high-fived her. She was joking. I wasn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56266) - you deserved it (7276)
On 04/06/2009 at 4:35am - misc - by annonymous (woman) - China (Beijing)
Today, I had my girlfriend over and we we're watching a movie in my basement. I run upstairs and pop a bag of popcorn. Later I come downstairs to find my 10 year old brother sitting next to my girlfriend saying," My brother always says he wants to screw your brains out, whatever that means". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21613) - you deserved it (54909)
On 03/26/2009 at 11:42am - kids - by CaoNiMa (man) - China (Beijing)
Today, I returned home from college and saw a framed picture of my parents and my younger sister on an elephant in an exotic jungle. I pointed to the picture and asked my mom, "Is this some photoshop job?" She responded, "No, we went to Thailand for a family trip, didn't we tell you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (61394) - you deserved it (2558)
On 02/20/2009 at 4:24am - misc - by OutoftheLoop (woman) - China (Beijing)
Today, a couple of mates and me have a reservation on this fancy restaurant to celebrate Chinese New Year. I found out that 80% of our money goes to the wine tasting event that they have, a free flow of gorgeous, decent wine all around. I'm allergic to fruit. I'll stick to my 20RMB water bottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10617) - you deserved it (1757)
On 01/24/2009 at 8:36pm - health - by anx133 - China (Shanghai)
Today, I daringly tried that fish-bath thing, where all these fish come and eat all of your skin's dead cells. I got into it, and after 15 minutes of being a human buffet, at least 20 of the fish died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24340) - you deserved it (4233)
On 01/15/2009 at 8:25pm - health - by anx133 - China (Shanghai)
Today, like any other day I struggled to put my boots on, went to pee and noticed my pants were covered in what looked like a green dust. I touched it, sniffed it, and it smelled utterly horrendous. So I took my boots off again only to find that one of my cats had took a dump in one of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10854) - you deserved it (1520)
On 01/15/2009 at 3:05am - animals - by anx133 - China (Shanghai)
Monday 20 May 2013
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