Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from China

Today, I had to stop my 26 year old fiancé from picking his nose and eating it like a little boy. Three times. FML

#19110438
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21091) - you deserved it (4304)

On 02/18/2012 at 9:08pm - misc - by mandy_2480 - China

Today, I realized that mixing alcohol with my medication causes me to lose my memory. I went to see my favorite band in concert last night and I can't remember a single song they played. FML

#18974554
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9558) - you deserved it (39095)

On 02/02/2012 at 3:10am - health - by Kreen - China

Today, my husband bleached his hair so, "our future kids will have blond hair too." I'm already married to this guy. FML

#18904697
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33640) - you deserved it (6955)

On 01/25/2012 at 1:23am - misc - by dragonmirado (woman) - China

Today, while riding back from a weekend away with my boyfriend, we crashed his motorbike, resulting in us getting thrown over a barbed wire fence into a forest. I woke up in hospital. Apparently, in his adrenaline rush, he climbed back on his bike and continued his trip, forgetting all about me. FML

#18868829
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35480) - you deserved it (2779)

On 01/21/2012 at 6:59am - misc - by superficialheart - China

Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML

#18648133
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9291) - you deserved it (37720)

On 12/29/2011 at 10:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - China

Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML

#18235563
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24191) - you deserved it (5722)

On 11/13/2011 at 7:46am - love - by notthatkinkyanyway - China (Beijing)

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

#18034396
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31511) - you deserved it (8923)

On 10/20/2011 at 9:24pm - health - by box bulge - China

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years felt comfortable enough with me to disclose that he had previously spent 4 years in a mental institute because he tried to kill his mother. He also told me we will be together forever. I'm scared. FML

#18005142
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51589) - you deserved it (4780)

On 10/17/2011 at 6:02am - love - by bubba - China

Today, I was sent home from work early because of structural issues. I walked in on my unemployed boyfriend cuddling another woman on the couch. When I confronted them, he freaked out and kept trying to convince me that I was dreaming. I don't know what I ever saw in this loser. FML

#17811701
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36405) - you deserved it (4112)

On 09/23/2011 at 7:04am - love - by alone - China

Today, while at work, after reading more than 100 FMLs and moderating more than 500, I decided to write one of my own with the help of my boss, who had been standing next to me for over an hour. "How about being fired?" FML

Today, I found a note on the front door of my flat saying, "You left your keys in your garage door so I put them in your letter box". Guess where my letter box key is. FML

#17737867
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22669) - you deserved it (5943)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:40pm - misc - by steph - China

Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML

#17634135
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24307) - you deserved it (3862)

On 09/01/2011 at 6:14am - misc - by Anonymous - China (Shanghai)

Today, at my workplace, a TV was installed just above my register at work which plays the same mind-numbingly awful 13 second ad on loop for the duration of our latest sale. The sale lasts for what are going to be three very long weeks. FML

#17398491
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24079) - you deserved it (2344)

On 08/07/2011 at 4:37pm - work - by Kris - China



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: