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FMLs submitted from China

Today, I defended the dried up things in the cup noodles as being real vegetables, just so that it would appear that I do actually eat vegetables. FML

#19219205
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5650) - you deserved it (19801)

On 03/05/2012 at 4:42am - health - by Nope (woman) - China

Today, I had to stop my 26 year old fiancé from picking his nose and eating it like a little boy. Three times. FML

#19110438
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21124) - you deserved it (4309)

On 02/18/2012 at 9:08pm - misc - by mandy_2480 - China

Today, I realized that mixing alcohol with my medication causes me to lose my memory. I went to see my favorite band in concert last night and I can't remember a single song they played. FML

#18974554
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9576) - you deserved it (39132)

On 02/02/2012 at 3:10am - health - by Kreen - China

Today, my husband bleached his hair so, "our future kids will have blond hair too." I'm already married to this guy. FML

#18904697
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33683) - you deserved it (6959)

On 01/25/2012 at 1:23am - misc - by dragonmirado (woman) - China

Today, while riding back from a weekend away with my boyfriend, we crashed his motorbike, resulting in us getting thrown over a barbed wire fence into a forest. I woke up in hospital. Apparently, in his adrenaline rush, he climbed back on his bike and continued his trip, forgetting all about me. FML

#18868829
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35680) - you deserved it (2798)

On 01/21/2012 at 6:59am - misc - by superficialheart - China

Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML

#18648133
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9299) - you deserved it (37756)

On 12/29/2011 at 10:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - China

Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML

#18235563
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24232) - you deserved it (5724)

On 11/13/2011 at 7:46am - love - by notthatkinkyanyway - China (Beijing)

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

#18034396
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31547) - you deserved it (8929)

On 10/20/2011 at 9:24pm - health - by box bulge - China

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years felt comfortable enough with me to disclose that he had previously spent 4 years in a mental institute because he tried to kill his mother. He also told me we will be together forever. I'm scared. FML

#18005142
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51636) - you deserved it (4783)

On 10/17/2011 at 6:02am - love - by bubba - China

Today, I was sent home from work early because of structural issues. I walked in on my unemployed boyfriend cuddling another woman on the couch. When I confronted them, he freaked out and kept trying to convince me that I was dreaming. I don't know what I ever saw in this loser. FML

#17811701
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36463) - you deserved it (4114)

On 09/23/2011 at 7:04am - love - by alone - China

Today, while at work, after reading more than 100 FMLs and moderating more than 500, I decided to write one of my own with the help of my boss, who had been standing next to me for over an hour. "How about being fired?" FML

Today, I found a note on the front door of my flat saying, "You left your keys in your garage door so I put them in your letter box". Guess where my letter box key is. FML

#17737867
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22952) - you deserved it (5976)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:40pm - misc - by steph - China

Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML

#17634135
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24346) - you deserved it (3865)

On 09/01/2011 at 6:14am - misc - by Anonymous - China (Shanghai)



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