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FMLs submitted from China

Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML

#18235563
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19105) - you deserved it (4281)

On 11/13/2011 at 7:46am - love - by notthatkinkyanyway - China (Beijing)

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

#18034396
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26886) - you deserved it (7999)

On 10/20/2011 at 9:24pm - health - by box bulge - China

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years felt comfortable enough with me to disclose that he had previously spent 4 years in a mental institute because he tried to kill his mother. He also told me we will be together forever. I'm scared. FML

#18005142
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44263) - you deserved it (3638)

On 10/17/2011 at 6:02am - love - by bubba - China

Today, I was sent home from work early because of structural issues. I walked in on my unemployed boyfriend cuddling another woman on the couch. When I confronted them, he freaked out and kept trying to convince me that I was dreaming. I don't know what I ever saw in this loser. FML

#17811701
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29932) - you deserved it (3008)

On 09/23/2011 at 7:04am - love - by alone - China

Today, while at work, after reading more than 100 FMLs and moderating more than 500, I decided to write one of my own with the help of my boss, who had been standing next to me for over an hour. "How about being fired?" FML

#17793469
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7986) - you deserved it (37191)

On 09/21/2011 at 2:47am - work - by f_ck_U (man) - China (Zhejiang)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found a note on the front door of my flat saying, "You left your keys in your garage door so I put them in your letter box". Guess where my letter box key is. FML

#17737867
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17631) - you deserved it (4497)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:40pm - misc - by steph - China

Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML

#17634135
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19157) - you deserved it (2854)

On 09/01/2011 at 6:14am - misc - by Anonymous - China (Shanghai)

Today, at my workplace, a TV was installed just above my register at work which plays the same mind-numbingly awful 13 second ad on loop for the duration of our latest sale. The sale lasts for what are going to be three very long weeks. FML

#17398491
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19715) - you deserved it (1711)

On 08/07/2011 at 4:37pm - work - by Kris - China

Today, my wife and I were watching TV. The lady on the show began to talk about how to have a smooth divorce. My wife discreetly turned the volume up. FML

#16933111
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34756) - you deserved it (3141)

On 07/01/2011 at 5:12am - love - by single (man) - China (Guangdong)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML

#16774144
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31281) - you deserved it (9226)

On 06/21/2011 at 12:46am - love - by holdengurl18 - China

Today, our new cat, which my mum was hesitant about letting us keep because she believes they're diseased, gave us all ringworm. FML

#16694485
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21111) - you deserved it (9052)

On 06/16/2011 at 12:14pm - health - by catlover - China

Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a work mate I took a sip of the tea which I had forgotten was boiling hot and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML

#16104583
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22937) - you deserved it (7374)

On 05/09/2011 at 1:23pm - misc - by Username - China

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

#15321178
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48105) - you deserved it (4718)

On 03/15/2011 at 11:50am - love - by notthedad (man) - China



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