FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML

by anonymous / 02/01/2016 at 1:07am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I rushed over to stop my infant daughter from falling off her swing. Luckily just before she hit the ground, I woke up. Unfortunately, I woke up because I'd rolled off my bed and hit the floor. FML

by MandieL / 01/30/2016 at 3:56am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I found out my parents only had me in an attempt to fix their relationship. It didn't work. FML

by crinitis / 01/28/2016 at 11:05am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a phone call from my boss, from the other side of the country. It seems the conference I sent him to is actually happening next week. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2016 at 9:44pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, my neighbors in the apartment above me yet again had a loud fight, well past midnight while I was trying to sleep. I stood on my bed and pounded on the ceiling to shut them up. And now I'll have to explain the two fist-shaped holes in the ceiling to my landlord. FML

by soon to have a fist shaped hole in my ass / 01/23/2016 at 2:49am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that the pain I've had for the past couple of weeks was actually due to a broken collar bone. Now work won't pay for the treatment I need because I continued to work despite the pain. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2016 at 8:43pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Work

Today, my 17 year old told me he wanted to pursue a career in art. Knowing he's extremely talented at drawing, I congratulated him and told him to pursue that dream. A few hours later I learn that he's been arrested for spray painting graffiti dicks all over a school wall. Well, he's famous now. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2016 at 9:21pm / Canada (Quebec) / Kids

Today, while I was working replacing a windshield, some jerk off hit my truck. A truck carrying 2 grand in glass. Including the windshield I was about to install. The driver gets out and says, "Sorry man, I had to text my girlfriend." FML

by automotive glass tech / 01/21/2016 at 1:09pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Transportation

Today, I was starting to get freaky with my boyfriend when his dad came in with no warning to let the dog into my boyfriend's bedroom. His dad noticed what was going on and covered the dog's eyes instead of just leaving. FML

by Garfield / 01/20/2016 at 11:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, on my second day at my new job, my supervisor told me that I was ready to make a sale on my own. Things were going well, until said supervisor interrupted my sales pitch, apologized on my behalf for being new, and stole my sale. FML

by TheNewSalesRep / 01/20/2016 at 9:37pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I was at school deleting documents I no longer needed on my school account. After clicking empty trash can, I saw a final paper on political science deleted. I'm not in political science, and I wasn't deleting files on my account. FML

by Jennifer / 01/20/2016 at 2:20pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was told that if I was caught yawning again, I'd be fired. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2016 at 6:36pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I entered the bathroom to discover that my brother had left semen and filthy water all over the floor and counter. I confronted him and demanded that he clean it up. My parents heard, sighed, and sent me back into the bathroom to clean it up myself. The towel was soaked too. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2016 at 7:43am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous