FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, my boss fired three of the four other people who were going to work with me on Black Friday in my department. Now it's just me and a new hire. My boss doesn't see a problem. FML

by darksaber522 / 11/25/2015 at 4:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I learned that I cannot cook or clean in my kitchen because it's too noisy for my neighbour. Every time I do, she bangs on the wall. FML

by anonymous / 11/24/2015 at 9:59pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother refused to buy a cat because my sister is allergic to them. She bought a rabbit instead. I'm allergic to rabbits. FML

by anonymous / 11/24/2015 at 8:01pm / Canada / Animals

Today, I painfully watched my doctor burn a hole in my nail to drain the blood underneath. This is the prescribed treatment for the injury of hammering your thumb. FML

by FitnessFirst / 11/24/2015 at 7:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I drove 3 hours to surprise my girlfriend, who I hadn't seen in 3 weeks. When she opened the door, she gasped, told me to fuck off and slammed the door in my face. FML

by Anonymous / 11/22/2015 at 10:17pm / Canada / Love

Today, I read the instructions on my new prescription constipation medicine: "For best results, defecate before use." FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2015 at 9:50am / Canada / Health

Today, as I had a chat with my boyfriend and a couple of his friends, one of them had brought up my boyfriend's son and his other child who was due any day now. The conversation would have went well, had I known that he had a son and a pregnant girlfriend. FML

by I Know How to Pick'em / 11/16/2015 at 7:25am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I realized my boyfriend's dog is more excited to see me than he is. FML

by doggylove / 11/12/2015 at 10:57pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Love

Today, I finally got a good seat on a plane. I don't know what the man next to me had eaten, but I was trapped for two hours next to him as he let out silent, deadly egg farts the entire trip. There was nowhere to escape. FML

by AwkwardFireFly / 11/08/2015 at 11:31pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to McDonald's. I was unaware of the Monopoly contest that they were holding. I was also unaware that you have to get 3 stickers of the same colour to claim your prize, and that it's not that easy to win a Jeep Cherokee. Taking down my Facebook post was awkward. FML

by youknowyoureoptimisticwhen / 11/08/2015 at 11:45am / Canada (Quebec) / Money

Today, I overheard my in-laws talking about me. It started off with light insults and ended with "People like her are the reason murder ain't always wrong". FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2015 at 1:15am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, while walking to work with my best friend, he broke down in tears. I asked what was wrong, and he told me his mom passed away last night. All I could think to do was give him a hug and say I was sorry. Then some assclown walking past said "GAAAYYY!" and walked away laughing hysterically. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2015 at 8:02am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 9 year old shitblossom of a sister decided to wake me up by hocking a loogie into my mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2015 at 12:02am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids