Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22047) - you deserved it (6804)
Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22057) - you deserved it (3254)
On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12354) - you deserved it (28281)
On 01/17/2013 at 9:31pm - kids - by walkingdictionary - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25354) - you deserved it (6428)
On 01/17/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by jakeeey - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my 8-year-old sister matter-of-factly said that she's going to get married before me if I don't stop wearing track pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12307) - you deserved it (23698)
On 01/16/2013 at 1:28pm - misc - by Kendra_Nine (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at the doctor's for a regular check-up. When my appointment was over and I was about to walk out, she yelled across the room in front of everyone, "Oh and if you could lose some weight, that'd be great." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25483) - you deserved it (4687)
On 01/16/2013 at 5:48am - health - by ChubbyButt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after working the midnight shift at my job, I thought it would be nice to leave a sweet love note along with my boyfriend's favourite candy in his car. Upon finding it, he immediately broke up with me for "breaking into" his car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25875) - you deserved it (4218)
On 01/15/2013 at 7:14am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16090) - you deserved it (25762)
On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23270) - you deserved it (2051)
On 01/14/2013 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)
Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27538) - you deserved it (1961)
On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my husband suggested a way for us to "make some money" off our pregnancy. His great idea? Pregnancy porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28368) - you deserved it (2820)
Today, I found out that my sleep-walking is so bad that I regularly text my friend while I sleep. I have no idea how many times this has happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18747) - you deserved it (2182)
On 01/12/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by I'm screwed - Canada (Alberta)
Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24362) - you deserved it (2053)
On 01/11/2013 at 5:22pm - misc - by wtf did i do?? (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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