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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML

#20472782
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24865) - you deserved it (3615)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:39am - kids - by dani0810 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought maybe I should go to my doctor because my hips crack every time I take a step. But she's also my recently ex-boyfriend's mom, so I have to choose between being in constant pain or having my doctor poke at my hips while asking me why I'm no longer dating her son. FML

#20472109
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19848) - you deserved it (4208)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:41pm - health - by ouch (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

#20470154
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25948) - you deserved it (2765)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML

#20468586
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22051) - you deserved it (6804)

On 01/19/2013 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

#20466497
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22059) - you deserved it (3254)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML

#20465228
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12354) - you deserved it (28284)

On 01/17/2013 at 9:31pm - kids - by walkingdictionary - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML

#20465100
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25381) - you deserved it (6430)

On 01/17/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by jakeeey - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 8-year-old sister matter-of-factly said that she's going to get married before me if I don't stop wearing track pants. FML

#20462592
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12307) - you deserved it (23699)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:28pm - misc - by Kendra_Nine (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the doctor's for a regular check-up. When my appointment was over and I was about to walk out, she yelled across the room in front of everyone, "Oh and if you could lose some weight, that'd be great." FML

#20462226
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25488) - you deserved it (4687)

On 01/16/2013 at 5:48am - health - by ChubbyButt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after working the midnight shift at my job, I thought it would be nice to leave a sweet love note along with my boyfriend's favourite candy in his car. Upon finding it, he immediately broke up with me for "breaking into" his car. FML

#20460414
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25875) - you deserved it (4218)

On 01/15/2013 at 7:14am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

#20460283
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16092) - you deserved it (25768)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML

#20459473
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23271) - you deserved it (2052)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML

#20458013
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27540) - you deserved it (1961)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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