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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. While looking at the menu, my date said "Who even likes kweetch? Gross." When I realized she was trying to say "quiche", I corrected her. That pissed her off. Now I'm at home, alone, trying to decide which hand is going to keep me company tonight. FML

#21392355
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31844) - you deserved it (7086)

On 04/12/2015 at 1:00pm - intimacy - by left, I guess (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I got trapped in my building's elevator for over an hour, with my dog who I had been rushing outside with because he had explosive diarrhea. FML

#21391716
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35015) - you deserved it (2794)

On 04/11/2015 at 8:12am - animals - by Crappy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my roommate's noisiest cat passed away. My previously-silent cat has decided that someone has to fill the void, and has been running around the apartment howling ever since. FML

#21391230
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28480) - you deserved it (3414)

On 04/10/2015 at 11:20am - animals - by Crazy cat lady - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I went to a job interview. It would have been fine if I had remembered it was over the phone, and not in person. I drove two hours. FML

Today, I was paired up with my long-term crush for a project. She introduced herself to me and asked if I was new this year. We've gone to the same school since kindergarten. FML

#21390271
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34339) - you deserved it (3388)

On 04/08/2015 at 9:58pm - love - by Heart-Broken - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to get stitches in my vagina due to an unfortunate mishap while climbing a fence. FML

#21389569
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33567) - you deserved it (5174)

On 04/07/2015 at 8:47pm - misc - by burnswhenipee - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

#21389410
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28479) - you deserved it (3409)

On 04/07/2015 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I ripped my stitches while taking a shit. FML

#21389247
106 comments

Today, my brother in law brought a dead rabbit to my nephew saying, "I found the Easter Bunny!" My nephew started crying hours ago and hasn't stopped. FML

#21388202
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28755) - you deserved it (2183)

On 04/05/2015 at 6:19pm - animals - by :O - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I came back from a week-long vacation where I had no internet whatsoever. I turned on my phone to get notifications, hoping to see a message or two that I'd missed while gone. There was 1 notification, telling me how many FMLs were posted while I was away. FML

#21388075
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30431) - you deserved it (3060)

On 04/05/2015 at 2:03pm - misc - by supercharged - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I am seven months pregnant with my third child. I woke up to my two-and-a-half year old trying to "pop the balloon" in my tummy. FML

#21384638
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27884) - you deserved it (3262)

On 03/31/2015 at 8:56am - kids - by mokki - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 8-year-old son told me to grow a pair and man up. FML

#21383517
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26099) - you deserved it (6723)

On 03/29/2015 at 11:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was told at my babysitting job that I can't bring my toddler with me. My employer is my best friend. Now I have to find a babysitter for my kid if I want to babysit hers. FML

#21382250
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29389) - you deserved it (2678)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:17am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



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