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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

#21367801
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42504) - you deserved it (3483)

On 03/04/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Highnapple - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a new job and told everyone about it. A few hours later, I got an email from the executive saying I actually don't have the job anymore. FML

#21366823
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26531) - you deserved it (2341)

On 03/02/2015 at 8:42pm - work - by dontplaywithmyfeelings - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#21366627
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13967) - you deserved it (48873)

On 03/02/2015 at 3:40pm - health - by teapotrevolt - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, the doctor let me know I have an autoimmune disease. The disease results in ulcers in my colon which bleed when I poop. I cried, but only when I was told that I wouldn't be allowed to eat cheese anymore. FML

#21364143
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29994) - you deserved it (2671)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:20pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I T-boned a woman who pulled out of a parking lot right in front of me. According to her, the accident was my fault because she "didn't see" me. FML

Today, I greeted my girlfriend with a spinning hug. She got motion sickness and threw up all over me. FML

#21362603
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28859) - you deserved it (8291)

On 02/24/2015 at 2:02pm - love - by hamboneghost (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got laid off. I abandoned my friends, my boyfriend and moved 10 hours away for this job because my uncle convinced me to. My uncle is my employer. FML

#21361965
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30411) - you deserved it (4281)

On 02/23/2015 at 6:52pm - work - by now what - Canada

Today, a woman yelled at me for holding a door open for her. FML

#21361801
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32107) - you deserved it (3041)

On 02/23/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Wutdafuqq (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother-in-law sent me a pedometer for my birthday. I've been confined to a wheelchair for most of my life. FML

#21360985
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32625) - you deserved it (1914)

On 02/22/2015 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a dream where I whacked my head against my shelf. I woke up immediately after, freaked out and whacked my head against my shelf. FML

#21360941
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29934) - you deserved it (4109)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:54am - health - by IngenuityAbsent - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend complimented me on how he liked my freckles down below. I didn't have the heart to tell him that they were just razor rash. FML

#21360762
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32088) - you deserved it (4714)

On 02/22/2015 at 12:15am - intimacy - by awkward.. (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I drove alone for the first time since I passed my test. I kept getting weird looks from other drivers and got pulled over by a cop. He said I was clearly underage and was sure my license was fake. Almost half an hour later, he finally let me go. I hate having a baby-face. FML

#21359872
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31739) - you deserved it (2512)

On 02/20/2015 at 3:00pm - misc - by all tweened out (man) - Canada

Today, my dad still refuses to repay the loan I gave him. I've just barely managed to pay my bills, and I'm now so poor that I'll have to survive the next 3 days until my next paycheck by eating the only thing left in my fridge: a jar of cheese whiz. FML

#21358559
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32919) - you deserved it (3008)

On 02/18/2015 at 12:17pm - money - by janused (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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