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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I got a date after being alone for the past 2 years. The girl who my friends set me up with began asking my monthly income, my current occupation, and asked if I have a credit card account. FML

#21466052
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25794) - you deserved it (1897)

On 09/08/2015 at 8:35am - love - by anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the girl I've gone on two dates with showed up at my house with several boxes of her stuff, expecting to move in. FML

#21465097
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30934) - you deserved it (2467)

On 09/06/2015 at 1:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I decided to bike to work. I normally forget the key to my lock, so I leave it out back and hope that nobody takes it, and nobody does. I finally remembered my lock key so I chained it up. After my 7 hour shift, I walk to the back only to find the lock had been cut, and my bike was gone. FML

#21464905
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24341) - you deserved it (1832)

On 09/05/2015 at 2:47pm - work - by Blue_Heart - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to visit my mom and my 3-month-old sister. I picked the baby up, totally unaware that she had just eaten. As I went to give her a kiss, she vomited straight into my mouth. Let's just say she wasn't the only one who puked. FML

#21464517
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22178) - you deserved it (2666)

On 09/04/2015 at 1:46pm - kids - by brittsters (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she let out a blood-curdling scream. Turned out she'd searched for My Little Pony pictures and stumbled upon a drawing of Rainbow Dash giving another pony a blowjob. FML

#21463707
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26917) - you deserved it (4693)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:26am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I went to the orthodontist, and found out when I was supposed to get my braces off. His exact words, "You'll get them off around Christmas... but we're not sure what year." FML

#21463569
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23604) - you deserved it (1602)

On 09/01/2015 at 11:55pm - health - by KenzoBVB - Canada

Today, I put aside my weekend plans to help my aunt with the extermination guy spraying her new house down to prevent cockroaches. After he left, my aunt asked me to go in and turn off the lights because the fumes were very deadly. If I chose not to, she would tell my mom I did nothing all day. FML

#21462982
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24302) - you deserved it (1928)

On 08/31/2015 at 1:17pm - health - by Rakib (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking to my mom about my issues with my girlfriend. While she was sympathizing, she slowly picked up my wallet, took $100 and left. FML

#21462595
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23392) - you deserved it (2091)

On 08/30/2015 at 2:29pm - money - by FranchezDeVista (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized I could make more money being on welfare than I can at my current job. FML

Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML

#21462289
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22015) - you deserved it (2045)

On 08/29/2015 at 8:06pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I blacked out while hugging my dad. I woke up a minute later on the floor with my dad telling me to, "quit being lazy and get up." FML

#21462123
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18745) - you deserved it (1427)

On 08/29/2015 at 1:08pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I finished a big painting for art class. It's also the day my little brother decided it didn't have enough puke on it. FML

#21462064
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21713) - you deserved it (1570)

On 08/29/2015 at 9:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, on my daughter's 9th birthday, I have to let her know that her dog died in his sleep overnight. Happy birthday. FML



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