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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I thought I would treat myself to a shave and a haircut at a proper barber, instead of just a haircut at Supercuts. After many "Oops", "Sorry", even an "Oh dear", I left with no hair cut, and blood streaming from multiple slices in my face from the shave. I think one might need stitches. FML

#21348311
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33568) - you deserved it (2954)

On 02/02/2015 at 12:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came back from vacation to find a packet on the company's stress management programs on my desk. I was sent the same packet over my vacation. I got the same packet from my boss as I left. All because I snapped at a co-worker who was throwing a tantrum over the Star Wars trailer. FML

#21347776
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25725) - you deserved it (3550)

On 02/01/2015 at 1:48pm - work - by Darth Binks (man) - Canada

Today, I was in a heated debate about climate change. I got so flustered that I forgot the word "volcano" and ended up calling them "exploding mountain things". End of the debate. Shame. FML

#21347486
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27105) - you deserved it (6560)

On 01/31/2015 at 9:29pm - misc - by WalkTheOtherWay - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML

#21346789
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29428) - you deserved it (3341)

On 01/30/2015 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I got a cute girl's number for the first time. Too bad it was because she rear ended my car. FML

#21344494
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25177) - you deserved it (2411)

On 01/26/2015 at 10:48am - misc - by Anonomous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cat had the bright idea of giving birth in the dryer, on top of all my new white towels. FML

#21344486
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25597) - you deserved it (5196)

On 01/26/2015 at 10:21am - animals - by HannaMD - Canada

Today, I had pizza for lunch. Later, I passed out in front of a customer. Now I get to explain to my boss that I fainted on the job because of heartburn. FML

#21344355
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22616) - you deserved it (3934)

On 01/26/2015 at 1:55am - work - by Thisismylife (woman) - Canada

Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML

#21343084
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29649) - you deserved it (2207)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend uploaded a pic to snapchat that said "the love of my life." It was a pic of our beautiful baby girl. Then he uploaded another pic that said "the 2nd love of my life." It was a pic of the fuel truck he drives for work. FML

#21342658
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29197) - you deserved it (3761)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:33am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while walking to work, I sneezed so violently that I slipped on a patch of ice and hit the ground hard, badly spraining my shoulder. I lay there in agony as a pair of bystanders just stood there, laughing their asses off. FML

#21340378
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29199) - you deserved it (2802)

On 01/19/2015 at 5:07pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a little old lady trying to cross the street. I went over and tried to help her. Turned out she was actually just a really short young woman. As soon as I took her arm, she screamed in front of everyone and accused me of trying to molest her. FML

#21339220
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28779) - you deserved it (7798)

On 01/17/2015 at 10:45pm - misc - by Help Me (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband confessed that when he's angry with me, he uses my makeup sponge to apply his hemorrhoid cream. FML

#21336401
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34122) - you deserved it (3927)

On 01/13/2015 at 12:42pm - love - by Maiar (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, a guy called me out of the blue. Apparently, he'd copied my number from a sheet we'd filled out in church. He doesn't understand why I'm "overreacting". FML

#21335287
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26974) - you deserved it (3410)

On 01/11/2015 at 7:39pm - love - by janegeorge (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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