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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

#20521590
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35220) - you deserved it (6000)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I'm so poor that I've been scrounging around my house all day trying to find quarters and dimes so that I can buy myself a cup of coffee tomorrow. FML

#20521315
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21829) - you deserved it (5444)

On 02/25/2013 at 3:39am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML

#20521278
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22010) - you deserved it (2797)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:25am - animals - by Sammy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that the "eyelash curling brush" that my best friend found in my old bathroom drawer was actually a stick used for cleaning food out of my sister's braces. I used that thing for years. FML

#20519962
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19892) - you deserved it (10913)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:30am - misc - by curly_eyelashes - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at work, my ex-boyfriend came in. I pretended not to see him, hoping he would just pass on by. No such luck. He stopped to tell me that he was there for orientation. My company hired him. FML

#20519937
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24520) - you deserved it (1880)

On 02/24/2013 at 8:56am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the guy who confessed his love for me also confessed that in his rage, he almost shot the last girl who broke his heart. FML

#20518576
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30763) - you deserved it (2204)

On 02/23/2013 at 8:46am - love - by BadAssBandit897 (woman) - Canada

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML

#20517185
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19649) - you deserved it (5180)

On 02/22/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I uploaded a new Facebook profile photo, which got over 20 likes in the space of an hour. The most I've ever gotten before was 10. Surprised, I went to check my picture again, only to notice two guys were sarcastically flipping me the bird in the background. FML

#20514955
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22071) - you deserved it (5598)

On 02/20/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by club goer - Canada

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

#20512214
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8537) - you deserved it (24266)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:11pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML

#20511774
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29323) - you deserved it (2875)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML

#20509000
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25803) - you deserved it (1872)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03am - kids - by Scarlett (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML

#20508952
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12913) - you deserved it (37733)

On 02/16/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by uhoh (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

#20505342
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33907) - you deserved it (3267)

On 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



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