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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML

#21141244
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38913) - you deserved it (16474)

On 05/15/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by NickJJ - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

#21139954
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44105) - you deserved it (6505)

On 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by oh god. - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I received a $20 gift card to Tim Horton's as a prize, and decided to use it. At the register, I was told that I'd essentially won an empty gift card. FML

#21139747
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41605) - you deserved it (3642)

On 05/14/2014 at 3:23pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML

#21139580
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53903) - you deserved it (6639)

On 05/14/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

#21138987
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22278) - you deserved it (64292)

On 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm - health - by ShutTheFuCupcake (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, everyone at the office was finally presented with the bonuses our boss had promised to pay us by the end of last year. Turns out he was never authorized to promise any such thing, so he ended up just giving us signed "thank you" letters instead. FML

#21138754
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37320) - you deserved it (3040)

On 05/13/2014 at 3:23pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

#21137819
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46568) - you deserved it (6074)

On 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm - misc - by Jarool - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I turned in my best painting yet for a scholarship competition. For once in my life, I was actually proud of a piece I'd done. I ended up losing the scholarship to some dickface who'd basically just glued together some crap from the dollar store and called it conceptual art. FML

#21132527
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42245) - you deserved it (5026)

On 05/06/2014 at 4:52pm - misc - by assgoblins piss me off (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (196) - you deserved it (18445)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I read that egg whites make a good hair treatment. Everything was going fine until, without thinking, I turned the hot water on to wash it out. I'm still picking the cooked egg out of my hair. FML

#21129302
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24608) - you deserved it (32306)

On 05/03/2014 at 12:57am - misc - by EggHead - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to face one of my fears. I've never had a birthday party, out of fear that nobody would come. I sent out a mass text inviting people out for my birthday, trying to sound casual. The only replies I received were along the lines of "Who the hell's this?" FML

#21127076
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38672) - you deserved it (4201)

On 04/30/2014 at 10:52am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, an old guy phoned the cops on my daughter because she was drawing with chalk on the sidewalk. Apparently, he thinks it's vandalism. FML

#21125786
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43664) - you deserved it (3398)

On 04/28/2014 at 10:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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