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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, my grandma said, "I know you don't have any plans tonight. Do you want to go to bingo with me?" I said sure out of pity, and ended up being her designated driver after she got wasted later in the evening. FML

#21030815
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36546) - you deserved it (4650)

On 01/17/2014 at 12:35pm - misc - by my cheese grater + your dick (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML

#21023843
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43683) - you deserved it (6193)

On 01/10/2014 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by lukas (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. They thought it would be funny to pretend that they're nudists. FML

#21021758
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45134) - you deserved it (3970)

On 01/08/2014 at 7:53pm - misc - by loganHchrist - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I had to explain to my parents why it is inappropriate to take selfies at a funeral. FML

#21018330
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43474) - you deserved it (3397)

On 01/05/2014 at 9:54pm - kids - by rain1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

#21018030
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49412) - you deserved it (6101)

On 01/05/2014 at 4:45pm - health - by stillhurting (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

#21016902
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41901) - you deserved it (4557)

On 01/04/2014 at 6:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my water pipes froze and burst and I now have to take snow from my back yard and boil it down into water in order to flush my toilet. FML

Today, I took a girl on a date. Her and her imaginary friends. FML

#21008014
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39359) - you deserved it (4448)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:42am - love - by rokkstarrrVRV (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I discovered the real reason my husband was distraught last week and has been acting moodily ever since. An attractive girl he was secretly having sex chats with online confessed to him that "she" was actually a guy. FML

#21007435
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41592) - you deserved it (3317)

On 12/27/2013 at 4:49pm - love - by -__- (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to get a shower. When I turned it on, no water came out. Only ants. FML

#21006941
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51993) - you deserved it (3069)

On 12/27/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by anon - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, a woman started giving me grief because we didn't have any Boxing Day sales. As I explained to her that dollar stores don't usually have sales, she tried to lamp me. It ended by her getting dragged out of the store. FML

#21006865
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31371) - you deserved it (2248)

On 12/27/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, Christmas changed my life. Last year I had a boyfriend to cuddle with on Christmas; this year I have a body pillow of an anime character. FML

#21004509
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35045) - you deserved it (5851)

On 12/25/2013 at 2:46am - love - by lonely otaku (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

#21001045
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46915) - you deserved it (12697)

On 12/22/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



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