Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57314) - you deserved it (14390)
Today, when I was talking to my younger brother, he suddenly said "Oh, I was supposed to tell you that there's this girl who has a huge crush on you!" I asked who and he answered, "I totally forgot her name, that was like 2 months ago." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42420) - you deserved it (3129)
On 04/14/2013 at 3:28am - love - by MissedTheBoat (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I got the chance to speak to some of the top academics in my field. I was so hungover that I couldn't remember the title of the Masters degree I've spent two years studying for, let alone make intelligent comments. I'm pretty sure the only thing I got right was my name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10945) - you deserved it (52538)
On 04/13/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by could be an fml commenter - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was screamed at and told that I was denying someone's "second amendment" by not letting him through with a gun. I work at the border; he was trying to enter Canada. This is not the first time, and it probably won't be the last. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35296) - you deserved it (2573)
Today, I realized that my Twitter profile was very public when my business professor made fun of student tweets in class. My tweet went, "Totally bullshitting this business report" about the report I had just handed in, worth a large portion of my grade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11025) - you deserved it (40298)
On 04/11/2013 at 3:49am - work - by imscrewed - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32393) - you deserved it (3123)
On 04/10/2013 at 8:40pm - misc - by great idea - Canada (Alberta)
Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57850) - you deserved it (1859)
Today, the power was out. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch any TV until the power came back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32866) - you deserved it (5348)
Today, my sister was faced with the choice of getting a burger, or picking me up in a snowstorm. The burger won, and I had to travel 4km home by foot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28392) - you deserved it (1656)
On 04/07/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by unknown - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48082) - you deserved it (3268)
On 04/06/2013 at 10:15am - intimacy - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to give a 15-minute presentation for a conference. I hadn't had the time to write out a proper speech so I decided to just wing it. My sponsor liked my presentation so much he wants me to turn it into an article. Now if only I could remember what I said. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29230) - you deserved it (8322)
On 04/04/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by BrillianceSucks (woman) - Canada
Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19110) - you deserved it (58157)
On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30530) - you deserved it (2437)
On 04/01/2013 at 1:17pm - love - by tkrause - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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