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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I discovered that my male coworker, who coincidentally shares my last name, has been telling everyone we're married. I'm 26; he's 58. FML

#21354774
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30228) - you deserved it (1957)

On 02/12/2015 at 3:14pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML

#21352130
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26553) - you deserved it (3952)

On 02/08/2015 at 2:46pm - health - by walllflower - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after a day, I finally noticed that the toilet paper I'd been using to wipe my butt is actually a roll of paper towel cut in half. My dad thinks that it's a waste of money to buy proper paper. Guess who had to unclog the toilet twice. FML

#21350771
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28607) - you deserved it (2757)

On 02/06/2015 at 3:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the guy I've been seeing for a few months told me he couldn't stay overnight because his mom would yell at him for not coming home. We're both 30 and I didn't know he still lived at home. FML

#21350278
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30960) - you deserved it (3591)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:42am - love - by thenewgirl29 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a wedgie after a workout class. As I was walking, I used my gym bag to discreetly unwedgie it, and then turned around to check that no one was there. The cute guy that I had a crush on last year was right behind me, and by the look on his face, it wasn't discreet. FML

#21349857
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27384) - you deserved it (5172)

On 02/04/2015 at 7:00pm - love - by nooo - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I saw my co-worker write about how awful Muslims were and how the religion is stupid, the hijab is oppressive, and how they're a poison on society. When I questioned them about it, they pretty much said that I didn't know anything and should stop talking. I'm Muslim and a hijabi. FML

#21349339
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32156) - you deserved it (5267)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:13pm - work - by coveredupforfun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought I would treat myself to a shave and a haircut at a proper barber, instead of just a haircut at Supercuts. After many "Oops", "Sorry", even an "Oh dear", I left with no hair cut, and blood streaming from multiple slices in my face from the shave. I think one might need stitches. FML

#21348311
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33506) - you deserved it (2952)

On 02/02/2015 at 12:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came back from vacation to find a packet on the company's stress management programs on my desk. I was sent the same packet over my vacation. I got the same packet from my boss as I left. All because I snapped at a co-worker who was throwing a tantrum over the Star Wars trailer. FML

#21347776
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25447) - you deserved it (3514)

On 02/01/2015 at 1:48pm - work - by Darth Binks (man) - Canada

Today, I was in a heated debate about climate change. I got so flustered that I forgot the word "volcano" and ended up calling them "exploding mountain things". End of the debate. Shame. FML

#21347486
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27069) - you deserved it (6550)

On 01/31/2015 at 9:29pm - misc - by WalkTheOtherWay - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML

#21346789
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29350) - you deserved it (3335)

On 01/30/2015 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I got a cute girl's number for the first time. Too bad it was because she rear ended my car. FML

#21344494
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25138) - you deserved it (2410)

On 01/26/2015 at 10:48am - misc - by Anonomous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cat had the bright idea of giving birth in the dryer, on top of all my new white towels. FML

#21344486
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25523) - you deserved it (5192)

On 01/26/2015 at 10:21am - animals - by HannaMD - Canada

Today, I had pizza for lunch. Later, I passed out in front of a customer. Now I get to explain to my boss that I fainted on the job because of heartburn. FML

#21344355
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22574) - you deserved it (3929)

On 01/26/2015 at 1:55am - work - by Thisismylife (woman) - Canada



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