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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, my husband told me he doesn't see the point in trying anymore, and that he no longer loves me. I was devastated. He stayed on the couch while I went to bed. Ten minutes later, he said, "Do you mind? I'm trying to sleep." and asked me to shut up. FML

Today, while cleaning my desk I found a stray gumball. I quickly popped it into my mouth only to discover with horror that it was a paintball. FML

#21394264
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16564) - you deserved it (32547)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought my dad was finally showing interest in the business I started last year when he asked about my next event. Nope, he just wanted to know if I would hire his step-granddaughter. Her first question: "So, I won't have to do any like, real work right?" Gee, thanks Dad. FML

#21393221
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26239) - you deserved it (1902)

On 04/13/2015 at 9:50pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. While looking at the menu, my date said "Who even likes kweetch? Gross." When I realized she was trying to say "quiche", I corrected her. That pissed her off. Now I'm at home, alone, trying to decide which hand is going to keep me company tonight. FML

#21392355
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29640) - you deserved it (6277)

On 04/12/2015 at 1:00pm - intimacy - by left, I guess (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I got trapped in my building's elevator for over an hour, with my dog who I had been rushing outside with because he had explosive diarrhea. FML

#21391716
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33781) - you deserved it (2497)

On 04/11/2015 at 8:12am - animals - by Crappy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my roommate's noisiest cat passed away. My previously-silent cat has decided that someone has to fill the void, and has been running around the apartment howling ever since. FML

#21391230
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27244) - you deserved it (3089)

On 04/10/2015 at 11:20am - animals - by Crazy cat lady - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I went to a job interview. It would have been fine if I had remembered it was over the phone, and not in person. I drove two hours. FML

Today, I was paired up with my long-term crush for a project. She introduced herself to me and asked if I was new this year. We've gone to the same school since kindergarten. FML

#21390271
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32912) - you deserved it (3013)

On 04/08/2015 at 9:58pm - love - by Heart-Broken - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to get stitches in my vagina due to an unfortunate mishap while climbing a fence. FML

#21389569
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33063) - you deserved it (5093)

On 04/07/2015 at 8:47pm - misc - by burnswhenipee - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

#21389410
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28370) - you deserved it (3395)

On 04/07/2015 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I ripped my stitches while taking a shit. FML

#21389247
105 comments

Today, my brother in law brought a dead rabbit to my nephew saying, "I found the Easter Bunny!" My nephew started crying hours ago and hasn't stopped. FML

#21388202
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28710) - you deserved it (2178)

On 04/05/2015 at 6:19pm - animals - by :O - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I came back from a week-long vacation where I had no internet whatsoever. I turned on my phone to get notifications, hoping to see a message or two that I'd missed while gone. There was 1 notification, telling me how many FMLs were posted while I was away. FML

#21388075
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29383) - you deserved it (2765)

On 04/05/2015 at 2:03pm - misc - by supercharged - Canada (Alberta)



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