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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

#20555435
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30181) - you deserved it (12911)

On 03/22/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my superstitious girlfriend of 4 years sneezed in the middle of my proposal. She claimed it was a sign from the universe for us to break up and then immediately left. FML

#20550300
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36840) - you deserved it (408)

On 03/19/2013 at 12:40am - love - by lanz4949 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up with a giant red rash all over my face, so puffed up that I could hardly open my eyes. The doctor said it was probably from some of the compounds found in most makeup. I'm just getting into theatre and have auditions coming up. FML

#20549343
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25048) - you deserved it (2451)

On 03/18/2013 at 2:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after six months of writing a 40 page paper criticizing a famous method, I found out the professor who conceived it has transferred to my favorite college to head the department I'm applying to study in. They require I submit the paper with my application. FML

#20548512
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27212) - you deserved it (4005)

On 03/17/2013 at 11:09pm - work - by GeoKid (man) - Canada

Today, in an attempt to break up with my boyfriend, I told him, "I don't feel a mental connection between us." His reply? "Why do we need a mental connection?" FML

#20548471
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21069) - you deserved it (6873)

On 03/17/2013 at 10:45pm - love - by just physical - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML

#20544337
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40297) - you deserved it (1997)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by guy - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. The movie was in 3D, and he couldn't help but notice it would be much cooler if you could feel what the characters did. He spent the next two hours slapping me every time the person in the movie did, claiming the movie would be "better". FML

#20542280
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26973) - you deserved it (4281)

On 03/13/2013 at 5:06pm - misc - by bruised - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML

#20542189
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34931) - you deserved it (4892)

On 03/13/2013 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by WhyDoINeedAName - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I told my mom about the rough time I'm having over my recent break-up, and how I can't help thinking about my ex every single day. Her attempt to console me involved saying, "Pft. I bet he doesn't think about you every day" and walking away. Thanks. FML

#20540840
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23234) - you deserved it (4028)

On 03/12/2013 at 2:40pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me first". FML

#20538066
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40672) - you deserved it (3956)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:08pm - kids - by Amanda - Canada

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31132) - you deserved it (1859)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, after house-sitting for a week, I came home to find the house in which I rent a basement suite has all but burned to the ground. My landlord didn't even bother to tell me about the fire. FML

#20533456
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24873) - you deserved it (1196)

On 03/06/2013 at 12:18pm - misc - by evilsandwich (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML

#20533390
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27761) - you deserved it (2818)

On 03/06/2013 at 9:53am - health - by ghgfd - Canada (Ontario)



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