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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I was sucking on a candy and I began choking. A coworker rushed over to give me the Heimlich maneuver. That freed the candy from my throat, and also the shit from my bowels. FML

Today, after working at the same place for 3 years, I found out that they are not only cutting my hours but now I have to take orders from some girl I trained because she was promoted over me. FML

#21503764
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21046) - you deserved it (2524)

On 12/14/2015 at 7:15pm - work - by hatemyjob (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found $20 under my car seat, so I put it in the cup holder, only for it to fly out of the window while going down the highway. FML

#21503317
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19386) - you deserved it (11129)

On 12/13/2015 at 3:04pm - money - by ehcanadianeh - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while working at a gas station, I accidentally changed the price of gas to 8.9 cents per litre. It took me fifteen minutes to figure out why everyone wanted only two or three dollars of gas. I fixed it, but now my managers are debating charging me for lost revenue. FML

#21502954
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19965) - you deserved it (6625)

On 12/12/2015 at 2:41pm - work - by Ihadnoidea (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell asleep while using my laptop. The next thing I know, it's 8am and my dad is screaming at me for posting "u skank-ass cunt-face" on my mom's Facebook timeline. I never made that post, but he won't believe me. My asshole brother, meanwhile, can't stop smirking at me. FML

#21502182
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22381) - you deserved it (2296)

On 12/10/2015 at 8:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to get minor surgery done. I have anxiety and a phobia of needles, so they gave me laughing gas. It gave me a panic attack. FML

Today, my partner and I got called out to a domestic disturbance. Things turned ugly while we were en-route. Long story short, I now know how many grown men it takes to lift a nearly 400lb shit-covered woman onto a stretcher. I almost reconsidered my choice of career. FML

#21500205
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21316) - you deserved it (1621)

On 12/04/2015 at 10:43pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML

#21499543
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18556) - you deserved it (2162)

On 12/03/2015 at 12:33am - love - by killmenow - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I realized how much of an invisible artist I am when I got a little excited when someone stole my art. FML

Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML

#21498753
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22207) - you deserved it (1467)

On 11/30/2015 at 10:52pm - health - by ugh - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 5-year-old son put my car keys in the microwave thinking that they would 'warm up' my car. FML

#21498607
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22394) - you deserved it (2309)

On 11/30/2015 at 4:27pm - kids - by jimmy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom tried to burn my arm with a hot spatula, all because I got a tattoo against her wishes. FML

#21497634
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21859) - you deserved it (5229)

On 11/27/2015 at 9:38pm - misc - by Wtfbruhimmovingout (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my stepmom asked me to bake pies for a dinner party she was having. Since I love baking, I said yes. When I went to deliver the pies, I found out they were for a family dinner I wasn't invited to. FML

#21497528
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24386) - you deserved it (1412)

On 11/27/2015 at 3:21pm - misc - by anon - Canada (Alberta)



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