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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I got a surprise raise and a promotion at work. Hours after accepting, our company was raided by police on fraud charges. Due to my new managerial position, I had to get grilled by cops. I may not have a job at all next week. FML

#21442530
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27099) - you deserved it (1631)

On 07/16/2015 at 10:47am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my mom recently stopped taking her medication. I came home to find she'd shot my dog because she thought he was possessed by the devil. FML

#21442016
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38911) - you deserved it (1960)

On 07/15/2015 at 11:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after nearly two months of working at my new job, one of my co-workers finally explained to me that the list of tasks that our boss gives me every day are actually HER duties, and as I complete them, she just sits in her office and watches Netflix. FML

#21441743
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27371) - you deserved it (2104)

On 07/14/2015 at 9:04pm - work - by ineedaraise (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife was in seemingly never-ending labor. It got so bad, I overheard a nurse in the doorway mutter to a coworker that she hoped my baby would just die or something, so she could finally go take a smoke break. FML

#21439756
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35578) - you deserved it (1699)

On 07/10/2015 at 9:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my phone kept beeping, so I put it on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I found the guy I went on a date with last night had sent dozens of messages. The first was "Good morning! :)" and the last was "Answer me u fuckin cunt!!!!" I think I'm staying single. FML

#21439620
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28338) - you deserved it (2884)

On 07/10/2015 at 3:54pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 4-year-old daughter slipped on ceramic tile and I had to take her to the ER for 5 stitches to her chin. When we got home, I promptly split her chin open again as I over enthusiastically re-enacted how she fell to my husband and accidentally clocked her square in the chin. FML

#21439345
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22266) - you deserved it (14925)

On 07/10/2015 at 12:27am - kids - by clutzymama (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I folded a stack of 2,500 brochures for the new exhibit we're putting on at the museum where I work. As I was finishing up, I got an email. The dates have just been changed, so all the brochures have to be reprinted and refolded. FML

#21439015
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27063) - you deserved it (1787)

On 07/09/2015 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, when I visited my daughter's apartment that she moved into about 3 months ago, I found out that she buys new underwear every time she runs out instead of washing her dirty ones. Her dirty ones have their own special hamper. FML

#21438428
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23187) - you deserved it (2413)

On 07/08/2015 at 9:29am - kids - by grossed out mom - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to sit through an entire movie where every time a new character was introduced, the guy sitting behind me would say, "My name is Jeff." FML

#21438229
71 comments

Today, during family therapy the therapist asked if I believe I'm a good parent/husband. When I said yes my two sons, my daughter and even my wife very passionately disagreed. FML

#21437483
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22690) - you deserved it (11080)

On 07/06/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by --- - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML

#21435915
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24521) - you deserved it (2930)

On 07/03/2015 at 3:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML

#21435026
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23430) - you deserved it (1557)

On 07/01/2015 at 7:38pm - misc - by bleachingmykidsbrains - Canada (Quebec)

Today, the only reason my husband agreed to marriage counselling is because he finds our therapist attractive. FML

#21434782
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28231) - you deserved it (2559)

On 07/01/2015 at 9:35am - love - by ouch - Canada (Ontario)



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