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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I had to sit through an entire movie where every time a new character was introduced, the guy sitting behind me would say, "My name is Jeff." FML

#21438229
71 comments

Today, during family therapy the therapist asked if I believe I'm a good parent/husband. When I said yes my two sons, my daughter and even my wife very passionately disagreed. FML

#21437483
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22686) - you deserved it (11079)

On 07/06/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by --- - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML

#21435915
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24516) - you deserved it (2929)

On 07/03/2015 at 3:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML

#21435026
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22795) - you deserved it (1376)

On 07/01/2015 at 7:38pm - misc - by bleachingmykidsbrains - Canada (Quebec)

Today, the only reason my husband agreed to marriage counselling is because he finds our therapist attractive. FML

#21434782
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27454) - you deserved it (2271)

On 07/01/2015 at 9:35am - love - by ouch - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned I don't have a yeast infection. I have herpes. FML

#21434596
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26144) - you deserved it (7832)

On 06/30/2015 at 10:21pm - health - by quiet_screaming_ - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML

#21432612
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23561) - you deserved it (2157)

On 06/27/2015 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML

#21432224
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26245) - you deserved it (2622)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:09am - misc - by mytoehurts - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on a raccoon viciously tearing apart a giant bag of dog food, not five feet away from my sleeping dog. FML

#21431556
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23889) - you deserved it (1801)

On 06/25/2015 at 1:30am - animals - by wtfkasey - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to call a parent and tell them that their special needs daughter is pregnant. FML

#21430924
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32923) - you deserved it (1954)

On 06/23/2015 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm five and a half weeks pregnant. One of my coworkers told me that it sucks that I'll have to wait so long to show. I asked her what she meant; she replied, "It's always harder to tell when big girls are pregnant. Can't tell what's fat and what's baby." FML

#21428256
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28906) - you deserved it (4562)

On 06/18/2015 at 8:58pm - work - by pregnantfatty - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML

#21427542
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23664) - you deserved it (11527)

On 06/17/2015 at 11:41am - misc - by HURP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad has apparently decided that it's too much of a bother to put clothes on when he gets out of bed. He's been walking around in his tighty-whiteys for hours now. FML

#21425446
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22526) - you deserved it (2266)

On 06/13/2015 at 1:10pm - misc - by pantsareathing (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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