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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I was working at a coffee shop. I was serving a customer when a cockroach appeared out of nowhere, and I screamed. Customers aren't supposed to know about the bugs so I had to lie and say I spilled coffee on myself, and served the customer while I felt the bug climbing up my leg. FML

Today, I had to tell my daughter that just because markers say "washable", it doesn't mean that you can draw all over our newly-painted walls. She's 15. FML

#21102656
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41922) - you deserved it (6094)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:16am - kids - by IcyWinter - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, a man asked me on a date. It's been so long, I accepted immediately. He began quoting what seemed like random numbers to me, and it took me a few minutes to work out what he meant. Not only was I mistaken for a prostitute, I'm also worth, at most, $60. FML

#21102227
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41545) - you deserved it (4592)

On 04/01/2014 at 8:02pm - love - by that kind of girl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, disappointed with my results on a mathematics test, I went over it and realized my teacher had added up the marks incorrectly, leaving me with 17% less than I earned. The person who's supposed to be teaching me math can't even perform basic arithmetic. FML

#21101903
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40378) - you deserved it (3667)

On 04/01/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while at work, I went to unlock the washroom for a customer. Normally we don't allow customers to use the staff washrooms, so I was as surprised as the guy I found sitting on the toilet when I opened the door. FML

#21098949
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33962) - you deserved it (3847)

On 03/28/2014 at 11:02pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there, when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says, "He's not coming, you may as well go home." FML

#21097979
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44110) - you deserved it (6344)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:03pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, while we were having sex, my boyfriend asked me, "Who's your daddy?" I actually started thinking about my father. Total buzzkill. FML

Today, I learned that most teenagers would rather grab free candy from the broken vending machine than help the guy stuck underneath it get free. FML

#21093947
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42762) - you deserved it (4798)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the guy I've been dating told me with a wink that before he'll go on any more dates, he'd require me to take a series of "oral exams" to prove I'm right for him. I think he actually expected that to work. NEXT. FML

#21093699
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43284) - you deserved it (5796)

On 03/22/2014 at 6:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, once again I was told I looked a bit like Lindsay Lohan. I can't figure out if they mean the young, good looking one, or the current cracked out rehab version. FML

#21093234
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37122) - you deserved it (4075)

On 03/22/2014 at 3:18am - misc - by Jen__ - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on my sixth date with a guy I was beginning to really like. He asked if I'd mind if his friend Pete met up with us afterwards. I said sure. Turns out "Pete" is his penis. FML

Today, my boss told me that there is no point in making me cut onions anymore because every time I do, I look like I've "been beaten", and can't be seen by the customers for at least half an hour. FML

#21091068
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32637) - you deserved it (3343)

On 03/19/2014 at 6:24pm - work - by Embarassed (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the snow in my backyard melted, revealing just how much dog shit accumulated underneath it this winter. FML

#21090227
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33537) - you deserved it (7204)

On 03/18/2014 at 6:53pm - animals - by holyshitsnacks - Canada (Ontario)



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