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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, after ranting to my best friend about how all our friends are having kids and how teenage pregnancy will ruin their lives, she announced to me that she's pregnant. FML

#21452790
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24533) - you deserved it (5801)

On 08/06/2015 at 3:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while trying to quit my horrible job at a pizza place, I got so nervous that I accidentally offered to work double my usual hours for another month. FML

#21451712
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20935) - you deserved it (14696)

On 08/04/2015 at 9:31am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the movies. A really cute girl sat beside me. I tried to strike up a conversation with her until she turned to look at me and I realized he was a guy. I couldn't even finish the movie because I felt his judging eyes burn holes into me the entire time. FML

#21451650
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20058) - you deserved it (5826)

On 08/04/2015 at 3:33am - love - by that girl has a beard - Canada

Today, I also needed to add, "Does not currently live in a psychiatric hospital, after being declared 'Not criminally responsible for a crime'" to my list of qualities that I want in a man. FML

#21451515
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20319) - you deserved it (2013)

On 08/03/2015 at 9:43pm - love - by whyyyyyme (woman) - Canada

Today, my boyfriend hasn't showered in two weeks. He says he doesn't want his "manliness" to wash off. FML

#21450770
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22971) - you deserved it (2632)

On 08/02/2015 at 5:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I found out why I was always picked up last from school. My parents didn't want the other parents to find out I was their kid. FML

#21449647
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25805) - you deserved it (1891)

On 07/30/2015 at 6:35pm - kids - by Lonely School Kid - Canada

Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML

#21449578
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26428) - you deserved it (2076)

On 07/30/2015 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML

#21446517
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26372) - you deserved it (2540)

On 07/24/2015 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by fuck (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML

#21445449
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16176) - you deserved it (23768)

On 07/22/2015 at 12:21pm - health - by Anonypiss (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred to me as "Sugartits". FML

#21444204
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22900) - you deserved it (3092)

On 07/19/2015 at 9:23pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on my first date in 6 months, to a Thai restaurant. We both got food poisoning and spent the entire evening alternately running to the bathroom while pretending that we were fine. FML

#21443781
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25972) - you deserved it (1844)

On 07/18/2015 at 11:29pm - intimacy - by padthaimeanoose - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after an argument with my girlfriend, I tried to be dramatic by slamming my car door shut as hard as I could. Something broke and now it won't open. Now I have to climb through the passenger's side just to drive my car to work. FML

#21443311
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11705) - you deserved it (27319)

On 07/18/2015 at 12:31am - misc - by MerryDeathmas - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my crazy drug-addict mother kicked me out of the house after siding with my crazy, drug-addict aunt, who'd just threatened to slit my throat. FML

#21443152
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27557) - you deserved it (1835)

On 07/17/2015 at 6:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)



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